Sixteen

LIES WE TELL

“The full moon’s kinda funny,” Faith said, that night. They stood leaning on the beach wall, looking out at the ocean. They had gone out to eat at a sub place after they left Faith’s motel room--which they didn’t do until they had kissed for an hour--and after they ate they had wandered around, not heading anywhere in particular. The moon was full, and the sky was perfectly clear, and full of stars. There was a warm, gentle breeze off the water and the air smelled like the sea. Faith thought it was as if someone had created this night just for them...as if it was theirs. But there had been something different about Buffy, when they kissed in the motel room. She’d seemed sad, for some reason. She tried to hide it but Faith knew it was there. Buffy hadn’t talked much.

They had eventually ended up at the beach. Buffy realized it was the same beach Angel had taken her to.

They looked up at the moon together.

“Funny how?” Buffy said.

“It’s like...it knows stuff about me,” Faith said. “Like, the night Becca found me? There was a full moon. Then there was another one the night I became the Slayer. And whenever I look up at a full moon now, I’m always thinkin’, like, what’s next? What else does it know about me that it’s like, waiting for the right time to tell me. What other surprises is it waiting to spring?”

“So what do you think?” Buffy said. “What’s the moon got up its sleeve for you this time?”

“I’m thinkin’ maybe this moon isn’t one of mine,” Faith said. “I’m thinkin’ it’s one of yours. I think it knows something about you.”

“Like what?” Buffy said.

“I think it knows why you’ve been all sad today, maybe,” Faith said. “I think it wants you to tell me.”

“I’m not sad. I’m fine. Just...in a weird mood. Maybe it’s the full moon. I’m just kinda...thinking about stuff today.”

Faith turned to her, and took her hand.

“You can talk to me about stuff,” Faith said. “Even hard stuff. I’m not gonna judge you, Buffy. We all got stuff that’s tough to talk about. And you can talk to me...I mean, you ever wanna talk about whatever? I’m here, y’know?”

Buffy kissed her.

“Thanks,” Buffy said. “I’m okay.”

“Buffy,” Faith said. “I’ll shut right up if you want, okay? If I’m prying just tell me it’s none of my damn business. But...is it your guy? Something happen with your guy?”

“No,” Buffy said. “I told you, I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Faith said. She knew Buffy was lying.

Buffy was the most complicated person Faith had ever met. Faith was sure Buffy was a lesbian, and she was sure Buffy was in love with Willow, and she was sure Buffy also had a guy running around out there somewhere who she was maybe in love with too. Buffy had told her she’d had sex with him once, and that he was her first, but according to her they hadn’t had sex since...and Faith had no idea why. Other than the fact she was sure Buffy was a lesbian.

Buffy was like one of those archaeological digs Faith had seen on the Discovery Channel. The archaeologists would find something in the sand, and they’d have to use little tiny brushes to carefully and methodically and precisely brush away the accumulated sand and sediment, the weight of ages. Eventually the object, the secret, would be revealed, but they knew it was only a tiny piece of the whole, just the beginning of the mystery. Faith felt like an archaeologist, with Buffy. Buffy’s sadness today was an ancient object Faith had unearthed. But Faith still had no idea what she had found, or what it meant...

Something had happened. Something had made Buffy sad.

Faith would just have to keep digging.

But carefully...

“You wanna maybe head back to my place and lie down with me for awhile?” Faith said. “I can be all curled up behind you and hugging you and kissing your neck the way you like. You want me to do that, honey?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

An hour later Faith lay in her bed with Buffy asleep in her arms. She was curled up behind Buffy, and she had kissed the back of Buffy’s neck until Buffy had fallen asleep. Buffy liked when Faith kissed her there. They hadn’t broken any rules, or even really been tempted to. It had been a different kind of day for them. A soft day, a day for holding hands, and gentle kisses.

Faith held Buffy in her arms in the dark motel room, and breathed in her scent, and thought about things.

She had decided a couple of days before to pay for two more weeks rent instead of one. She knew she wanted to stay with Buffy so she figured she might as well guarantee a roof over her head for as long as she could. Unfortunately it left her with eighteen dollars in her pocket now. And in twelve days she’d have to come up with more money or she’d be bounced onto the street.

She’d decided she would have to start shoplifting; being down to eighteen bucks meant it was time to either beg or steal. One good thing about shoplifting at least was that it meant she could finally have some decent clothes. Sunnydale had a good sized mall and a shopping district downtown with lots of stores and being a Slayer made shoplifting easy. No one could catch her when she ran.

Constantly coming up with the cash to keep up the rent on her motel room from now on would be tougher. Cash meant dealing with people, with security guards. Faith was willing to steal but she wasn’t willing to hurt anyone. It was a line she wouldn’t cross. Rebecca would be ashamed of her if she hurt someone. Faith wouldn’t allow that. She’d go to prison first. She’d starve first.

Faith had no idea what she was going to do...where she was going to go.

The only thing she was certain of, was that she wanted to be with Buffy...

She wondered if Buffy wanted to be with her.

It was a little more than a week later and Faith’s money had run out awhile back; she’d been stealing ever since. On the bright side, she had some decent clothes now. But she knew she couldn’t keep this up forever. She needed a plan.

One bit of luck was that she’d discovered vampires sometimes had money. So now she mugged them before she dusted them. It had netted her enough cash to pay the room off until the end of the month, but there wasn’t much left for food so she stole food too. There were convenience stores and one big supermarket in Sunnydale and even though the security guard at the supermarket was one of those old guys who took pride in his job and was actually alert for shoplifters, he was still an old guy and Faith was the Slayer and she managed to stay off his radar okay. There was an electronic security system at the doors, so instead of smuggling food out Faith just ate it in the store as quick as she could. It didn’t leave much time for savoring her food and she wasn’t able to eat much without risking getting caught, so she picked food with a lot of protein and calories. Cold cuts were good. Faith could wolf down a one-pound package of Oscar Mayer bologna in about a minute and it gave her more than fourteen-hundred calories.

She laid all her clothes out on the bed in her motel room, and stood in her underwear in front of them, trying to find something pretty to wear. Buffy was coming over and she wanted to look pretty.

Faith had slept over Buffy’s house again, the weekend before. This time she had stayed the entire weekend; Buffy had come to her motel room Friday right after school and told Faith she wanted her to stay until Monday morning. Joyce had tried to talk to her a lot while she was there. Faith was still uncomfortable around Joyce, but it was getting a little easier.

Whenever Joyce was distracted or out of the house Buffy had wanted Faith to curl up in bed with her. They kissed, like they always did, but they hadn’t broken any rules. They just curled up together in the bed whenever they had a chance, and Buffy pulled Faith’s arms around her, and Faith kissed her neck.

Buffy had given Faith a foot massage this time. It was a long, slow, sensuous foot massage, and Buffy had knelt down in front of Faith and looked her in the eyes when she did it, and she had taken her time. “Do you like this, baby?” Buffy had whispered. “Do you like me like this?”

By the end of the foot massage Faith’s pussy had been drenched and she felt like a cat in heat and she had told Buffy how much, and in what specific ways, she wanted to have sex with her, and she had used very colorful phrasing to illustrate certain key points. Buffy had just laughed, and kissed her.

It had been a strange weekend. Sometimes Buffy seemed almost deliriously happy, and she would laugh and snuggle up to Faith in the bed, or do Faith’s hair, or paint her nails, or massage her back, or kiss her...and other times, especially at night, she would suddenly become sad...

When they went out slaying at night, Buffy always seemed sad, now...or angry. Once, when Buffy had caught a certain scent, she had insisted on going to handle it herself, and told Faith to wait for her. Faith knew the scent was a vampire’s scent, and she had no idea why Buffy didn’t want her to come with her. Buffy was gone for fifteen minutes, and she had come back with her eyes puffy and red, as if she’d been crying. And then she had torn into every vampire they encountered for the rest of the night, brutally beating them, not giving them the release of the stake until she’d had her fill of hearing them shriek...

There were yellow roses in a vase on Buffy’s bureau, when Faith arrived that Friday. But the roses were dying. When Faith asked about them Buffy said her mother had brought home flowers from some flower show she had gone to.

Buffy was an archaeological dig. She was the lost city of Atlantis. She was all six Indiana Jones movies. Faith would just have to keep digging.

Faith thought about things, and tried not to giggle at the ridiculousness of it all. She knew Buffy had a guy. Faith had Evan. She knew Buffy was a lesbian. Faith was...well, Faith thought the jury was still out on what she was. She knew Buffy was in love with Willow. Faith was in love with Evan. But she couldn’t see Evan again. And Faith knew Buffy couldn’t have Willow, because she was pretty sure Willow was straight. And maybe Buffy was in love with her guy, whoever he was, too. Meanwhile, she and Buffy had spent about ninety-percent of their time since they’d met each other either naked or kissing or both even though they were each in love with someone else and, in Buffy’s case, maybe two someone else’s.

Christ, Faith thought. We’re like some lame-ass corny soap opera. Pretty soon one of us is gonna have an evil twin, or get amnesia.

Thinking about the weirdness of her relationship with Buffy was making Faith’s head hurt. She decided to concentrate on finding an outfit instead.

She had three pairs of jeans, two pairs of leather pants, a couple of blouses, three adorable little tops, a few tee-shirts and a sweater. She had Evan’s leather coat and her Docs. The leather pants and the adorable tops she had stolen. The wardrobe was better than before but she still didn’t exactly have limitless options. Buffy would be there soon, and she wanted to look pretty for her.

“What am I doing?” Faith said.

She had no idea. To the naked eye, it would have appeared that she was dating a girl. Even though she already had a guy. And the girl had a guy too.

Sometimes, Faith was a complete mystery to herself.

She stood in her underwear looking down at her clothes. The leather pants, she decided. And the little pink top. No bra. The pink top was made for going commando and Faith knew her boobs were too. She took her bra off.

“Am I dating a girl?” Faith said, to the empty room.

She looked at the clock. It was almost three. Buffy would be there any minute. Faith ran back into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror. She fussed with her hair. She wished she had some decent makeup. All she had was the nail polish and lipstick she’d shoplifted from the drugstore down the street. She had one lipstick. Red. If you’re going to have just one, that’s the one. She put some on. She liked kissing Buffy with lipstick on. It was more girly.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

“What am I doing?” Faith said, again.

If the mirror knew, it wasn’t telling.

There was a knock at the door. Faith tuned in to her nose. It was Buffy.

Faith decided to give Buffy a treat. Faith knew she had the best rack in the world. And she knew Buffy appreciated it.

Faith answered the door in nothing but her panties.

“What’s up, girlfriend!” Faith said, throwing Buffy her sexiest smile. And she knew it was even sexier with the lipstick.

“Um, breaking rule number one,” Buffy said, and breezed by her into the room, giggling, as Faith quickly shut the door. Faith wanted to give Buffy a show, not the whole neighborhood. The local winos were already a little too chatty with her. Buffy was wearing a tight miniskirt and a skimpy little top and platform boots. And makeup, very skillfully applied. Faith thought she looked beautiful. But then she always thought that.

“You broke it first when you peeked at my lil’ kitty when you left me that note,” Faith said, and sat on the bed with her legs crossed, bouncing her foot up and down over her knee. “Bad girl. Figured I owed you one.”

“Yeah, guilty as charged,” Buffy said, and sat next to her. “I throw myself on the mercy of the court. Um...you have pretty boobs. Like, super pretty. Like, I think they might be the best boobs ever.”

“Hey, thanks girlfriend,” Faith said, and kissed her. Then Faith leaned back on her elbows, and opened her legs a little. She wasn’t sure what she was doing, or why. But Faith was used to that. She liked going by feel. Letting things play out. Seeing where she ended up. All she knew for sure was that she was enjoying herself...

“Um...but okay, you got me back for breaking the rule, so maybe you should get dressed,” Buffy said. “Unless you just wanna go out naked.”

“I liked that foot massage,” Faith said, twirling her foot around now.

“Thanks,” Buffy said. She was blushing a little. “I liked giving it to you. I like making you feel good.”

Buffy looked down at the floor.

Faith had been about to ask Buffy to give her breasts a little kiss. She was going to make a game out of it: she was going to refuse to put her clothes on unless Buffy gave her breasts a quick little kiss.

But it felt wrong, now. It felt like taking advantage. Faith could tell Buffy was still sad. It was still there, whatever it was...the thing that had hurt her...

“Okay, honey,” Faith said, and kissed Buffy’s cheek, and got up and put her clothes on. “So what did you say you wanted to do today? Hit the mall?”

Buffy nodded. She was still looking down at the floor.

Faith knelt down in front of her.

“How do I look?” Faith said. “C’mon hon, you didn’t even check out the fab outfit. Got leather pants and everything here. And isn’t this top just the cutest little thing?”

“You look awesome, baby,” Buffy said, and smiled a little.

“Hmmm. Got like, maybe a third of a smile there,” Faith said, and kissed Buffy’s knee. “Didn’t wanna have to do this B, but I’m gonna have to bring out the big guns now.” She moved her hands to Buffy’s waist.

“What are you doing?” Buffy said. “What weirdness are you doing now?”

“I know a certain pretty girl who’s real ticklish right here,” Faith said, and smiled. “Right around her waist. I think she might be about to get tickled.”

“I don’t think she’s about to get tickled,” Buffy said, smiling now.

“I think she’s definitely about to get tickled,” Faith said, and started tickling Buffy’s stomach and sides. Buffy screamed with laughter and tried to pull away, and Faith jumped on top of her on the bed and tickled her some more.

“Stop!” Buffy shouted, rolling around and laughing. “Stop, stop. I’ll be good. Stop being a goofy pervo.”

Faith stopped tickling her, and kissed her.

“I love that smile, honey,” Faith said. “Just needed to see that smile.”

Buffy nodded, and smiled.

“Is it possible for shoes to be too fabulous?” Buffy said. She was sitting beside Faith two hours later on a leather couch in Nordstrom’s. It was a shoe store in the Sunnydale mall that Faith thought looked a lot like the shoe stores she always went to with Rebecca; chic and sleek, sort of art deco, lots of mirrors and open space. Pretty salesgirls who were just the tiniest bit arrogant, but in a darling little way. The floors were white and spotless and gleaming. For some reason there was a girl at a baby grand piano in the corner playing show tunes.

Everyone was fabulous. Every toe was pedicured. Everyone carried kickass handbags. No one was a poor homeless girl from Boston.

There weren’t too many actual pairs of shoes cluttering up the place, but Faith knew the deal was quality, not quantity, in these kinds of stores and when she and Rebecca shopped in places like this they always came home with something. Within six months after meeting Rebecca Faith had gone from one pair of boots to sixteen pairs of shoes. But those days were gone now and Faith knew she wouldn’t be coming home with a new pair of fabulous kicks today. She was down to twenty-one dollars and she was back to the one pair of boots.

“They look nice, B,” Faith said, looking down at Buffy’s feet as Buffy stretched out in a pair of rather ostentatious gold slingbacks. “You’re fab enough to pull ’em off.”

“I think I might already have a pair like this though,” Buffy said. “It’s hard to keep track. So what about you? You haven’t tried anything on.”

“Think I’m more of a boot girl,” Faith said. She looked at the baby grand piano. She looked at the salesgirls. She didn’t look at the shoes. No reason to look if she couldn’t have a pair. She wanted to get out of there. She wanted to go home. But she didn’t have a home...she didn’t have anywhere to go.

If she went back to Boston she wouldn’t be able to stop herself from seeing Evan, and she couldn’t put him in danger again. And she was needed here. If ever there was a place the Slayer needed to be, it was the Hellmouth. But what would she do here? How would she live? She’d had more than two weeks to think about it since they killed Kakistos and she still hadn’t come up with an answer... mostly because she’d spent the time thinking about Buffy.

“They have boots,” Buffy said. “I don’t think they have Docs, but they have some pretty boots. Let me help you pick a pair out.”

“That’s okay,” Faith said. “I’ll just, uh, shop vicariously through you.” A woman with stylishly long gray hair wearing a business suit and horn-rimmed glasses walked by them, talking into a cell phone. “The problem is script,” the woman was saying. “I’m almost through act two and I don’t believe Carrie’s inner struggle. She’s too perfect. I know the writer loves her but I think we cut her and bring in our guy for a polish. Now talk to me about product placement.” The woman carried a Louis Vuitton handbag and she held a hardcover book under her arm called War and the Liberal Conscience. The problem with the Hellmouth was that it was in California. Faith was pretty sure she wanted to blow up California.

“But that’s no fun,” Buffy said with a big, beautiful smile, and put her hand on Faith’s shoulder. “I wanna dress you up. I wanna make you my Faith doll. Let me pick out shoes for you. I know you’re always wearing boots but you’d look great in heels. Please, baby?”

Buffy seemed happy again now. Faith liked it when Buffy was happy. If being Buffy’s Faith doll would keep the streak going...

“Uh...okay,” Faith said.

It was like saying abra-kadabra. Suddenly it was raining shoes. It was a shoe monsoon. Buffy streaked through the store like the Tasmanian Devil picking out fabulous shoes for her and within minutes Faith was practically buried. After awhile Buffy finally sat back down next to her on the couch. There were more than a dozen pairs of shoes spread out around them. Faith took off her boots and socks and looked down at her feet, next to Buffy’s. Buffy’s feet were pretty.

“My feet are ugly,” Faith said.

“What are you talking about?” Buffy said. “You have pretty feet. I wouldn’t massage ugly feet. And I think we’re the same size. You could use a pedicure though. We should go for pedicures together sometime.”

“Yeah,” Faith said. She couldn’t afford a pedicure. She couldn’t afford the shoes. She didn’t know what the hell she was doing there. She didn’t know what she was doing...she didn’t have a plan.

“Well? Let’s get to it, Cinderella,” Buffy said.

Fifteen minutes later Faith had tried on all the shoes and wanted all the shoes and couldn’t have any of the shoes and she made herself smile anyway.

“I think you’re totally adorable in the open-toe pumps,” Buffy said. “Personally if I’m you I’m buying the open-toe pumps. But we can’t just ignore these slingbacks. That would be a grave tactical error. And then there’s the purple strappy stilettos if you wanna go for the ultra-fab look. And yeah, we both want the Givenchys but my Mom would get annoyed if I mortgaged the house without telling her. Life is hard. We can’t have a pony either.”

“Those Givenchys kinda rocked my world,” Faith said, looking over at them. They were the most exquisite shoes she’d ever seen. She really did feel like Cinderella when she tried them on. They looked like shoes Rebecca would have worn. But she couldn’t have them. So she put them out of her mind.

“We need to stop thinking about the Givenchys,” Buffy said, and put the Givenchys back in their box. “Thinking about them will only bring us pain.”

Faith couldn’t afford any of the shoes. The cheapest were fifty dollars.

“So what’s it gonna be?” Buffy said.

Faith had prepared a lie.

“Kinda tempted to buy all of ’em,” Faith said. “But okay, I’m gonna level with you, Buffy. Kakistos burned my house down back in Boston, so I had to buy new clothes in a hurry, plus a bus ticket out here, plus I’m paying for that motel now. I have like about three-thousand bucks left, but I need to budget it. I mean, I’d feel real awesome if I bought all these shoes right now, but I need to kinda figure out what I’m gonna do out here first, y’know? I’d better come up with a plan before I spend money on this kind of stuff.”

She watched Buffy to gauge her reaction. Buffy smiled.

“Yeah, I get that,” Buffy said. “Sorry, I didn’t even think of that. But three-thousand won’t last long, Faith. We’re gonna need to come up with a plan.”

“Yeah,” Faith said.

“I want to buy you a pair,” Buffy said. “I’ll buy you a pair.”

“B, that’s awesome of you, but seriously, don’t worry about it,” Faith said. “You never know, I might not be able to resist and I might just come back here and buy a few pairs myself tomorrow. Once I figure out my money, maybe get a job or whatever, I promise, we’ll go shopping then and you can watch me buy myself a whole bunch of new kicks.”

“So let me buy you shoes now and you can pay me back if you want,” Buffy said. “Whenever we come up with a plan and get your money situation together or whatever. You can pay me back for them then if you really want to.”

“You’re a great friend, B,” Faith said. “I’m lucky to have you. And I’m cool, okay? You don’t have to feel like this is weird for me or whatever, ’cuz it isn’t. I’m having fun, I love being here with you. I’m not buying anything right this second, but I will. I’m, y’know, scoping out the place. I’m doing like, shoe recon. So don’t worry about me. Just keep making me smile. That’s all I want.”

“Okay, baby,” Buffy said, and kissed her.

Sunnydale had a Bloomingdale’s too. Faith stood in front of the mirror by the changing rooms with Buffy. Faith was wearing a long red leather coat, and Buffy stood behind her with her hands on her shoulders, and played with her hair.

“Faith, you look beautiful, baby,” Buffy said. “Please buy this. Please?”

When Buffy called her beautiful, Faith felt warm.

“Damn tempting,” Faith said. And it was. Faith considered coming back some other time to shoplift it.

“You should totally buy it,” Buffy said. “You should buy it right now. It’s like the ultimate Faith doll accessory. No Faith doll should be without it. Plus the beach house. But not Ken.”

“Maybe I’ll come back and buy it some time,” Faith said.

The slaying hadn’t been going so well. They did great when they were just hanging out. But the slaying...

“I’m telling you, we need a plan!” Faith said.

“What is your problem?” Buffy said. “We’ve been through this like twenty times! Okay, yeah, there’s maybe a dozen or so of them. But we’re two Slayers, we can take these guys!”

They’d had dinner at Buffy’s house. Pork chops. It was good. Joyce was nice. Everything had gone smoothly all day. Shopping was as fun as it could be without Faith being able to actually afford anything, and Buffy had believed her lie about how she had three grand stashed and was just kinda sorta budgeting it. They’d tried on clothes and Buffy had called her beautiful and made her whole day. Everything was great in the mall and great at dinner with Buffy’s Mom after. Joyce seemed to really like her and Faith did her best not to let her see how uncomfortable she was around her. Faith was getting better around Joyce but Joyce still made her a little uncomfortable. Faith wasn’t sure why, but she thought it might have something to do with Rebecca.

Still, everything had gone great all day, nice and smooth, no bumps...

But the slaying...

During the days they were great together. But when they hung out at night, especially when they went out slaying, Buffy’s mood changed...she was sad, sometimes, and then sometimes she would get angry...angry at the vampires. Faith hunted vampires but she was never really angry at them. They were prey. On the rare occasions when Faith actually gave it any thought, she saw her relationship to the average vampire as something akin to a lion’s relationship with a gazelle. The lion didn’t kill the gazelles because she hated them; the lion killed them because that’s just the way things were supposed to work.

Buffy’s anger was becoming a problem. She was taking risks sometimes now, when they went out slaying; she wasn’t thinking tactically. She was hurting vampires, even torturing some of them, before she killed them. Faith didn’t mind getting her kicks and she loved a good scrap, and she even liked to rub it in a little when she had a vampire down, but when the hunt was over it was over and it was time for the stake. Buffy was passing over opportunities to dust vampires just to drag out the fight sometimes. It wasn’t like her. It made her look ugly.

They were crouched behind a tree, watching a crypt in the Fairlawn Cemetery. It was a little before midnight, and a sliver of moon rode high in the sky, flitting between the clouds. The Fairlawn Cemetery was a big cemetery, and it was a dump. The grass grew in brown, weedy patches. There were dense thickets of gnarled old trees, and here and there among them there were chairs and couches set up around the remains of old campfires strewn with joints and whiskey bottles. The crypt they were watching had graffiti all over it. There were beer cans on the lawn all around it, and loud music playing inside.

“Yeah, I know we can take ’em, but c’mon B, use your head!” Faith said. “That crypt’s all closed in, if we just run in there they have the advantage!”

Faith noticed Buffy was becoming annoyed. She had the same look on her face as she’d had that night they first met...like she was building to something, and trying to head it off. Buffy took a deep breath.

“Look, they’re probably all wasted in there,” Buffy said. “This cemetery is non-stop vamp parties, always has been. We go in and take them by surprise, we can stake half of them before they even know we’re there.”

“Maybe,” Faith said. “If they’re wasted. “If not it’s like fourteen on two in a little tiny space the size of my motel room. I just wish we had a better plan than ‘Run in and hope we don’t get our butts kicked.’”

“We have a plan,” Buffy said. “We take them by surprise. That’s the plan! And it would be a great plan if you’d stop bitching and just let us do it!”

“When I was with Becca, we picked our targets. We were careful. We--”

“Rebecca’s not here!” Buffy snapped.

Faith looked straight ahead, at the crypt.

“Yeah,” Faith said.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said. “I didn’t...I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just, look, this is my town, okay? I’ve been doing this awhile, I know how everything works here. I know this is the right plan. You just have to trust me.”

Faith nodded, still looking straight ahead.

Buffy put her hand on her shoulder.

“Faith, I’m sorry, baby, okay?” Buffy said. “Baby? I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay, B,” Faith said. “Forget it.”

The next night, Buffy was giggling. Faith had been making her giggle all day long. Faith always made her giggle. She said the goofiest things...

They were sitting together in Crestview Cemetery now, under a big willow tree, waiting for vampires to happen by. But no vampires were happening by, so Buffy had been listening to Faith’s goofy stories instead, and their giggles echoed among the tombstones.

“Yeah, so wherever these guys played, people went missing, right?” Faith said. “It was like, part of their rep, y’know? Like they joked about it. They were like, ‘Yeah, Ozzie maybe bit the head off a chicken, but you come to one of our shows, who knows what craziness can go down.’ Cops never pinned anything on them, no witnesses. So I’m talkin’ to these metal chicks at The Roxy and I’m like, ‘But wait, who the hell listens to hair bands anymore?’ And they’re like, ‘Well, the lead guitar guy, he’s cute. He totally gets busy with the metal groupie gals.’”

“I didn’t think there were any metal groupie gals anymore,” Buffy said.

“Me neither, but y’know, my spider-sense was tingling, I just had a feeling, so I’m all, ‘Hook me up backstage, girlfriends, sneak me in.’ So I hit the vintage clothes stores and find some tramp outfit, y’know, bandana, ripped jeans, like that, couple of fake rub-on tats, and I’m hangin’ out around the tour bus that night waiting for the show to end, and I’m rockin’ that bandana and the ripped jeans and the suede boots and the Levis jacket with the Kiss patch. So next thing I know, bang, I catch the scent, there’s a vamp headin’ my way. A minute later out they come, and yup, the guitarist’s a vamp, and a fox too. I’m like, okay, groupie gals’ got a point. So I bat my lashes at him--he already had like three chicks on his arm--and he’s like ‘Sure babe, join the party’, and we head into the bus. Nice bus too. Rugs, big TV sets, stocked bar, pool tables, waterbeds, the works. Thing is, the guy had his heart set on this real hot blonde, he wanted to get to her first...”

“A real hot blonde, huh?” Buffy said.

“Yeah baby,” Faith whispered in her ear, and giggled. She put her arm around Buffy, and pulled her close, and positioned her hand just above Buffy’s breasts. “A real hot blonde. I do love the hot blondes.”

“Pervo,” Buffy said, and laughed. But she didn’t try to remove Faith’s hand. So Faith kept it there, and moved it down so it rested lightly on top of Buffy’s breasts. Buffy blushed.

“So yeah, dude had his heart set on the blonde, and I’m all like, ‘C’mon coach, call my number,” and he’s like, ‘Sorry hon, gotta wait your turn.’ Thing is there were security guys on the bus with guns, there were a bunch of gals, there were the other band guys, and the bus was fab but it was long not wide, there wasn’t like room to maneuver really. All those people, if things went all Die Hard in there people could get hurt. I needed to play it slick, all like undercover. I needed to get into that bedroom with him before he got the girl in there alone. Meanwhile the security guys are eyein’ me. I had to think quick.”

“So what did you do?” Buffy said.

Faith caressed Buffy’s breasts. Buffy blushed again, but she still didn’t remove Faith’s hand.

“Is this okay, honey?” Faith said, and kissed her.

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

“Okay,” Faith said. “Well anyway I took my shirt and bra off, showed him my bodacious ta-ta’s.”

Buffy started giggling again. Faith kissed her. She moved her hand under Buffy’s shirt as she kissed her, and slipped it under Buffy’s bra, and caressed her breasts again. Buffy moaned, and Faith felt Buffy’s nipples hardening under her fingers, as she gently stroked them.

“Your bodacious ta-ta’s?” Buffy said, blushing like a fire engine.

“Hell yeah, girlfriend,” Faith said. “And I’m all like, ‘Dude, you really think you can resist this package? ’Cuz it’s first come first served and if you don’t step up the cute blondie lead singer guy over there’s gonna be gettin’ busy with these and you’re missin’ out.’ Blondie lead singer guy’s like ‘Hell yeah gimme some o’ that,’ and guitar guy’s like ‘Shit girl, steer those titties over here.’”

“Bodacious ta-ta’s,” Buffy said, and giggled again.

“You don’t think they’re bodacious?” Faith said, and lifted Buffy’s shirt, and unhooked her bra, and gave each of her breasts a single, gentle kiss. “C’mon honey, I know you love my ta-ta’s.”

Buffy kept blushing.

“You’re cute when you blush,” Faith said. “Plus all the other times.”

“Finish the story, ta-ta girl,” Buffy said, and put her arm around Faith, and brought her to her breasts. Faith started kissing them.

For a moment Evan came into Faith’s head. But he seemed a million miles away, now...an abstraction. The concept of a person, rather than a person. Memories that didn’t add up to flesh and blood anymore.

“Yeah, so I’m at the top of the class once he takes a gander at what I’m packin’, and into the fab little bedroom we go,” Faith said, and caressed Buffy’s breasts again, and started kissing her neck now, as Buffy moaned. “He offers me some coke, I politely decline, he jumps on the waterbed and strips and we’re off to the races. And I gotta say, guy was hot. I mean, I coulda staked him right that second but the more he took off, the more I wanted to see. So he’s like, ‘C’mon hon, I show you mine, you show me yours’ and I figure what the hell, he’s gonna be dead in a minute, might as well give the dude some eye candy first...”

“Oh my God,” Buffy said, and giggled into her hand.

“Don’t be jealous honey,” Faith said, and licked Buffy’s neck, from her shoulder to her ear. “You know you’re my favorite. So yeah, I’m gettin’ naked, I’m sittin’ there on the bed in my panties and my socks, my stake’s over on the floor in my boot. And then the guy pulls down his boxers and he whips out, I swear to God, the biggest dick in the history of the world.”

“Oh my God!” Buffy screamed, her voice bouncing around the cemetery, and started laughing. “Oh my God that’s so gross!”

“Didn’t look too gross to me,” Faith said, and put her hand on Buffy’s knee. “Looked kinda good. Painful though. I’m like, ‘Dude! What the fuck is that thing? You born with a third leg or what? Keep that damn thing away from me.’”

Buffy leaned back against the tree and started laughing hysterically. Her laughter took flight, in that grim place; it bounded around and kicked up a ruckus among the old rotting tombstones, and rustled through the trees, and finally hung in the black night air like a rainbow after a thunderstorm. It took a long time for the echoes of that laugh to fade away...they lingered, as if the night wanted to hold onto them for awhile.

Faith took Buffy in her arms, and kissed her.

“I love how you laugh,” Faith finally said, as she held Buffy in her arms. “It’s really pretty, honey. I could listen to that laugh all night.”

“You gonna finish this gross story or what, pervo?” Buffy said, still giggling.

Faith kissed Buffy’s nose, and smiled.

“Tickles,” Buffy said, and giggled again, and wrinkled up her nose, and scratched it.

“Okay,” Faith said. “So, big finish, the guy whips out his giant damn baseball bat of a dick, right? And I’m like ‘whoa’. And he just laughs and he’s all expectin’...y’know...what guys always expect. But even if I wanted to get busy with a damn vamp that frigging thing woulda broke my jaw. So I’m like, ‘Hey guess what? Mine’s bigger.’ And I pull out my stake. Thing is though? Mine wasn’t bigger. But it sure was pointier and that’s all that mattered. The end.”

“Grossest story ever,” Buffy said, laughing again. “Big huge gross vampire penis? Gross.”

“I don’t know...the frigging thing woulda split me in half but it wasn’t bad to look at,” Faith said. “Dude made me all horny. But I like looking at you better.”

“Yeah?” Buffy said.

“Yeah, honey,” Faith said, and kissed her again.

It was Saturday night, and Buffy and Faith lay on the bed together in Buffy’s room, in only their panties, and kissed.

Joyce was at her book club meeting, and they’d had the house to themselves for awhile. At first they had wondered if they should patrol. But then Faith had laid Buffy down on the bed, and started massaging her shoulders, and kissing her neck...

Faith had slept over again. Buffy had come to her motel room right after school the day before, and told Faith she wanted her to stay for the whole weekend again. When Faith had asked if Joyce had a problem with these sleepovers--between sleeping over on weekends and the dinners at least a couple of days a week, Faith was beginning to feel like maybe she should be paying Joyce rent--Buffy had said, “Nope. My Mom loves when you come over.”

So Faith had shrugged her shoulders and packed her bag, like she’d done each of the two previous weekends. Joyce’s cooking sure did beat scrounging cold cuts at the supermarket, and hanging with Buffy wasn’t so bad either...

Especially right now.

Buffy kissed her way down Faith’s body, from her neck, to her breasts, to her stomach, and stopped at her panties. She kissed Faith’s pussy, over her panties, and smiled up at her.

They both kept their panties on, because neither of them was ready to go all the way yet.

But they liked coming close...

Buffy lifted Faith’s legs over her shoulders, and mounted her like she was about to fuck her. Faith was curled up into a little ball now. Buffy looked her in the eyes, and smiled.

“Flexible,” Buffy said.

“Damn, I wish you had a dick right now,” Faith said.

They laughed.

They kissed.

Faith caressed Buffy’s arms, as Buffy lay atop her. The muscles in Buffy’s shoulders and triceps were flexed. Faith knew those arms were strong.

There was a game they liked to play. Faith had come up with it the night before. They weren’t ready to go all the way yet and Faith had found a way to turn that negative into a positive...

“Fuck me,” Faith said, and smiled.

“No,” Buffy said, and smiled back, and started grinding against her. They were both dripping wet, now. Faith grabbed Buffy’s ass, and pulled her toward her, matching Buffy’s rhythm as she thrusted.

“Please?” Faith said.

“No,” Buffy said. “You’ve been bad, baby. Bad girls can’t get fucked. You know that.”

“But I’ll be good from now on. I’ll be a good girl.”

“You’re gonna have to prove it, baby. If you can prove you can be good, maybe I’ll fuck you. Are you gonna prove it for me? Are you gonna be a good girl and do something good for me?”

“Yeah,” Faith said.

This was the point of the game. Faith had to come up with something new to do every time, some new way to prove she could be good. But it was tricky, because neither of them wanted to go all the way...

When they had played the game for the first time the night before, Faith had proved she could be good by giving Buffy a full-body massage with scented oil. It was fun because it was risky: they’d done it in Buffy’s bedroom while Joyce was home and they could have been caught. Buffy was naked, but the room was dark and Faith couldn’t really get a good look, so rule number one wasn’t completely broken. It was around midnight when they did it, and Joyce was asleep in her bedroom just down the hall. Faith massaged Buffy’s entire body, and she took her time, really working the oil into every single part of her; the massage took an hour, and for every second of that hour they were in danger of being caught. The risk made the game even better. Faith’s pussy was dripping the whole time. For her part, Buffy was serene, lying on the bed and purring, as Faith’s strong hands found all the little knots of tension and gently undid them, making every part of her tingle. Buffy was so calm, as Faith worked every drop of tension out of her, that Faith almost thought Buffy wanted Joyce to catch her...

This morning, when Joyce had gone to the gallery for a few hours, Faith had proven she could be a good girl by covering Buffy’s feet with kisses.

Buffy smiled down at Faith now, thrusting faster. Faith began to moan, and her breathing sped up. Buffy wasn’t sure if she could make Faith come just by doing this, but she was willing to give it a try...

“So what are you gonna do for me, baby?” Buffy said. “How are you gonna be my good girl?”

“I’ll...make you...a sandwich,” Faith whispered, between moans.

Buffy stopped thrusting. “Seriously?” she said.

They looked at each other, and they both suddenly started giggling.

“Yeah,” Faith said. “I’m gonna make you a sandwich, come up here and serve it to you with a nice cold drink. Then I’m gonna kneel down in front of you with my head in your lap and smile up at you while you’re eating it.”

“That’s if I let you up,” Buffy said, and kissed Faith’s ankle, and started gently thrusting again. “I like you like this. I wish I had a dick too right now.”

Buffy leaned down and put her mouth to Faith’s ear.

“I’d fuck you ’til you couldn’t walk straight, baby,” Buffy whispered, and kissed Faith’s neck.

“Promises, promises. If you don’t wanna let me be a good girl you can always spank me for being a bad girl,” Faith whispered back.

Buffy remembered what Giles had said, about Faith’s mother. She remembered how Faith had cried, when they were practicing wrist locks in the cemetery and Buffy had screwed up the move and Faith had punched her in the face and thought she’d hurt her. She remembered how it took Faith awhile to stop crying...how she had to hold Faith in her arms, and kiss her, and calm her down...

Buffy knew she had to be careful, with Faith.

“I guess I’ll let you be a good girl for me,” Buffy said, and rolled off of Faith, and let her up.

“Shit,” Faith said, and giggled. “I was hoping for the spanking.”

“Maybe if you play your cards right,” Buffy said. “Roast beef and Swiss with lettuce and mayo and pickles. Now go make me my sandwich, woman.”

“Yes, dear,” Faith said, and stood up, and walked out of the room.

Sauntering into the dining room on the way to the kitchen wearing nothing but her panties, Faith found herself wondering what the protocol was if Joyce suddenly walked through the door. This isn’t what it looks like, Joyce. Seriously. I’m not getting horizontal with your daughter. I’m just, y’know, making her a sandwich. In my panties.

On her way through the dining room, Faith noticed a pile of college brochures on an end table.

She stopped and looked through the pile. They were all out-of-state colleges. Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Duke, Northwestern, Notre Dame, Georgetown, Columbia.

Suddenly, Faith didn’t feel like playing the game anymore.

Faith sucked it up and got back to the game. Her heart wasn’t really in it, but she made the sandwich and got Buffy’s drink and got her game face back on and walked up the stairs. As she climbed the stairs she heard Buffy talking on the phone in her bedroom, speaking low.

“They could have been red,” Faith heard Buffy say. “Okay, fine. I look pretty in yellow. Yeah. I loved the yellow roses, baby. I loved how you braided them in my hair.”

Faith froze. She felt like she was collapsing in on herself.

She felt the cold thing, in her stomach.

It had been awhile, since she’d felt it. She had almost forgotten it, during these weeks with Buffy.

Buffy was silent for a moment, and then Faith heard her say, “Yeah. I had a great time. I told you it was a perfect night.”

Faith realized Buffy couldn’t lock onto her scent. Buffy’s body was covered with Faith’s scent and Faith’s scent was all over her bedroom too. Buffy hadn’t realized Faith was on the way back up, hadn’t detected her yet.

Faith listened.

“I’ve just...I’ve been busy. I’m sorry.”

Silence.

“She’s okay.”

Silence.

“Yeah, okay. I’ll meet you and we’ll get the thing. You always take me to such wonderful places. Okay, gotta go. ’Bye.”

She heard Buffy hang up the phone. Faith got her game face back on, and hummed the way she imagined devoted wives probably hummed, as she climbed the rest of the way up the stairs and walked down the hall toward Buffy’s room. She entered the room with her biggest, sexiest smile on her face.

“I’ve brought you a sandwich, dear, and your drink,” Faith said.

Buffy was sitting on the bed, smiling. Faith thought it was a hell of a smile. But Faith knew it was just as fake as the one she was wearing right now.

“That’s awesome, baby,” Buffy said, and took the sandwich and the drink from Faith, as Faith knelt down in front of her, and rested her head in her lap, just like she had said she would.

Faith looked up at Buffy, and smiled. Buffy took a quick bite of the sandwich and a sip of the orange juice, and then set them aside.

“I’m sorry baby, but...I have to go out for a few hours,” Buffy said, and kissed her.

“Yeah?” Faith said, trying to look surprised and a little disappointed, too... but not suspicious.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “Remember the tip from my bartender? Well I just got off the phone with him and he promises it’s gonna pan out tonight. There’s some magic doohickey and there’s a guy he knows coming into town with info on where to find it. The doohickey’s dangerous and I need to retrieve it and get it to Willow so she can figure out what to do with it.”

Faith was pretty sure Buffy wouldn’t have liked letting someone she had called “a greasy little sleazebag” braid flowers in her hair, so she assumed it was a lie. But she kept right on smiling.

“Okay, so how about I tag along, watch your back?” Faith said, because it was what Buffy would have expected her to say, and also because she was curious to hear how Buffy would get out of it.

“Well...the guy I’m supposed to meet, he’s not dangerous,” Buffy said. “He’s not a vamp or a demon, he’s just like...this professor guy who knows a lot about weird old magic doohickeys? But my bartender says he’s really like, suspicious and stuff. The guy knows to expect me but I’m supposed to meet him alone. If anyone else shows up he might get spooked and take off, and I can’t risk that, I really need the info on this magic doohickey, because there are plenty of bad guys out there who’d love to get their hands on it.”

Not bad, Faith thought. The girl’s good at lying.

“Okay,” Faith said. “I’ll like, crank up the VCR while you’re gone. You’ll just be gone a few hours?”

“Yeah, baby,” Buffy said, and kissed her. “Then I’ll come back and we can cuddle, okay? Um, if my Mom gets back before me, just like, tell her I’m doing a quick errand for Giles and that it’s like, completely not dangerous?”

“Sure,” Faith said.

Buffy showered, before she left, even though she had already showered that afternoon. Faith got her clothes back on while Buffy was in the shower, then went downstairs to the living room and turned on the television.

Buffy came downstairs a little later, and apologized and kissed her goodbye, and said she’d be back as soon as she could. Faith said she understood. Buffy walked out the door.

Faith waited thirty seconds after Buffy left, watching her from the window and noting the direction she was heading in. Then she ran up to Buffy’s bedroom, put on a pair of Buffy’s sneakers, and climbed out her bedroom window.

Following Buffy wasn’t as difficult as it could have been because Buffy wasn’t expecting to be followed. Faith kept to the rooftops, staying upwind and a good distance back.

Buffy wasn’t looking around at all, wasn’t really noting her surroundings. She was walking straight down the street. Faith thought she seemed distracted.

Still, Faith knew it would be foolish to underestimate her. In addition to being faster, Faith was pretty sure Buffy was also a better tracker; Buffy had managed to nearly sneak up on her a few times when they were hunting together and she was usually the first one to catch a scent.

After about five minutes, Buffy stopped at the corner at the end of her street by the traffic light. She leaned against the traffic light, and waited.

Faith stayed as far back as she could while still keeping her in sight, but it backfired on her when a black convertible suddenly pulled up to the curb and a man got out of it. The wind had shifted by then and Faith was too far away to catch his scent, or to get much of an idea of what he looked like, either: he was tall, with dark hair, wearing a black trenchcoat, and that was all Faith could see.

And then something strange happened. The man suddenly looked in Faith’s direction for a second. She ducked behind a chimney before his eyes scanned the rooftops, and a second later he was looking at Buffy again. It had to be a coincidence, Faith thought. The man hadn’t really known she was there, he just happened to look in her direction at that moment. Only a vampire could have known she was there, caught her scent from that distance...

The man talked with Buffy for a minute; they leaned on the hood of his car together. He held her hand.

Faith saw Buffy kiss him.

And they got in the car, and drove away...

Faith sat on the roof, watching the car until it disappeared.

Then she climbed down from the roof, and walked back to Buffy’s house, in the dark.

“The Glove of Mini-golf?” Buffy said. They were in Angel’s car, driving toward a cemetery across town. The car’s top was down, and she’d found the hip-hop station again, and his arm was around her and she had taken off her shoes and she was hanging her feet out the window, and the wind was in her hair...

But it was different, this time.

He hadn’t put his arm around her. Buffy had leaned on his shoulder, and taken his arm and put it around her.

Buffy had initiated the kiss as they stood by the car; Angel hadn’t really returned it.

And Buffy felt like she was cheating, again.

She just didn’t know who she was cheating on...

“Myneghon,” Angel said. “Shoots lightning. And a demon’s looking for it. Demons annoy me enough already. If he gets that glove and starts shooting lightning, I’m gonna get pissed.”

“Tell me about the demon,” Buffy said.

“Lagos,” Angel said. “Big guy, tough, and he uses weapons. Supposedly an expert with swords. One of the reasons I brought you with me, it’ll be good to have the Slayer for backup.”

“A Slayer,” Buffy said. “Faith’s a Slayer too. In fact she’s probably the Slayer, since Giles says the line’s supposed to go through her now.”

Buffy didn’t have Faith’s scent on her, now. But she smelled like soap. Angel knew she had showered just before she met him.

And he could’ve sworn he’d caught Faith’s scent, when he and Buffy were standing by the car...

“How’s Faith doing?” Angel said.

“She’s fine,” Buffy said.

“Are you two getting along? I remember there was some tension, with you and Kendra.”

“Two Slayers together. Probably not supposed to happen. But Faith and I are doing okay.”

They were driving down the back roads now, in nearly absolute darkness. There were no streetlights to see by, and when Buffy looked up at the sky even the moon was a waning sliver now, almost gone. She could see tall, dark, looming trees whizzing past on either side of her, and nothing else. The trees looked black. The car’s headlights revealed a little of the gray, featureless road ahead of them, and then were swallowed up by the darkness before they could penetrate very far. The air was cold. Buffy brought her feet back into the car, and put her shoes on.

“Is she staying here?” Angel said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, and turned down the radio. “What are the other reasons you brought me with you?”

“This glove is powerful, the bad guys are gonna keep coming after it,” Angel said. “It needs to be destroyed. A specific spell is needed to destroy it, the spell is in The Book of Eibon. Giles should have a copy, if not I’ll lend you mine. I’d destroy the glove myself but the spell needs a witch. I need you to get this glove to Willow.”

“No other reasons, huh?”

“I like being with you.”

Buffy smiled.

“Okay,” Buffy said. “So first the Klingons, then this Glove of Mini-golf. You’re sure keeping busy lately.”

“I’ve wasted a lot of time,” Angel said. “So I’m keeping my nose to the ground now. Getting back in the game. Trying to do some good while I’m here.”

“Good to have you back,” Buffy said.

“How’s Willow?” Angel said. “Is she...okay?”

Buffy’s smile disappeared.

“Better than she was,” Buffy said.

“The bigger they are, yadda yadda yadda,” Buffy said. “Also, in this case, the uglier they are.”

They were standing in a little crypt in a cemetery on the outskirts of town. It wasn’t really a proper cemetery; it was a small lot in a clearing at the end of a little dirt path off the back roads leading into the woods and it had taken them a couple of tries to find it. It seemed to exist solely to house the crypt; there were no tombstones. There wasn’t even a gate or any kind of a proper entrance. Just the dirt path off the road, not marked by any sign. The clearing was overgrown with weeds as tall as Buffy’s head.

The crypt itself was unremarkable. Buffy had seen a lot of crypts and although the first couple were a little exciting because of the creaky old stone doors and the sarcophagi and the general dark musty eerieness, they’d gotten boring pretty quickly; now they all just looked like stone boxes to Buffy. Big boxes, little boxes...they were all pretty much the same, and this one was no exception. It was on the smaller side, dark and musty; the air was stale. It apparently hadn’t been entered in a very long time. It contained four sarcophagi, a big stone crucifix, an unlit torch in a wall sconce, two urns, a tattered old Bible, the Glove of Myneghon, and Lagos, who was lying dead on the floor in front of Buffy because Angel had cut off his head with a battle-axe.

Lagos was tall and thin, with a face like a skull, brown, mottled skin, purple eyes, black lips, long fangs, and horns like a ram. He wore a long purple cape, a look which Buffy didn’t think he was pulling off very well. He had come at Buffy with a sword, and he was good with the sword; but Buffy was too fast for him and she dodged him until he was in the perfect position for Angel to behead him with one swing of his battle-axe.

They still had the old moves, Buffy thought, as she looked down at what was left of Lagos. She and Angel still moved around each other in perfect harmony as they fought, anticipating each other’s moves without speaking or even having to think about it, watching each other’s backs, setting Lagos up, and then knocking him down. When she was with Angel, Buffy felt invincible.

“He didn’t smell too good either,” Angel said. “Anyway, we got the glove.” He brought the glove over to Buffy, and she took it from him, and looked at it. It was a long metal gauntlet with sharp spikes shaped like stylized lightning bolts sticking out from the sides and at each knuckle.

“Don’t put it on,” Angel said, as he wiped yellow blood off his battle-axe, using Lagos’ cape. “Once you put it on it can’t be taken off.”

“I don’t have a single thing in my wardrobe that goes with it anyway,” Buffy said, and gave it back to him. “That’s a hell of a battle-axe. It’s even bigger and shinier than your other battle-axe.”

“I’m fond of it,” Angel said, as they walked out of the crypt.

They didn’t talk much, on the drive back. Buffy had turned the radio on, and looked straight out at the road.

Buffy knew he didn’t want to be with her anymore. He hadn’t said it, but she knew he’d decided it.

Maybe he was right.

As they got close to her house, Buffy had him stop at the end of the street.

“You want me to drop you here?” Angel said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “Faith’s over the house.”

He nodded. He looked at her...she looked out at the street.

“Do I get a kiss goodnight at least?” Buffy said.

“Yeah,” Angel said.

They kissed.

His kisses used to crackle through her. She used to get wet, when she kissed him. She didn’t, this time. It wasn’t just that he was holding back a little.

Buffy wasn’t sure what it was. It was strange.

“Good night,” Angel said.

“Good night,” Buffy said.

She didn’t get out of the car. She looked straight ahead, at the deserted street. It had gotten cold. She shivered, a little.

He put his arm around her.

“It was a perfect night, wasn’t it?” Buffy said.

“Yeah,” Angel said. “It was.”

She looked at him.

“Kiss me once more before I go,” Buffy said. “Make it a great one.”

He kissed her.

It didn’t crackle through her.

It was strange...

She looked at him. He looked beautiful...he always did. But Buffy thought Faith was even more beautiful.

And then, for the first time in her life, Buffy understood herself.

When Buffy got home Faith was in her nightgown in the living room watching TV.

“How’d it go?” Faith said.

Buffy held up the Glove of Myneghon.

“Got what I was looking for,” Buffy said.

“The hell is that thing?” Faith said.

“The Glove of Mini-golf.”

“The Glove of Mini-golf?”

“Mini something. I forget. I’ll bring it to Giles and Willow tomorrow and they can destroy it.”

“Let me see?”

Buffy tossed the glove to her.

“Don’t put it on,” Buffy said. “Once you put it on it can’t come off.”

“What’s it do?” Faith said.

“Shoots lightning.”

“Whoa.”

“My Mom’s not home,” Buffy said, and sat on the couch with her.

“Called an hour ago, said she’d be back late. Sounded a little tipsy. I think more goes on at that book club than Joyce is letting on.”

“They all drink wine and get wasted.”

“They talk about books at all?”

“For like the first hour,” Buffy said, and ran her fingers through Faith’s hair. “Then they start talking about how men suck and they all get wasted. They did the club here one week, I saw the whole grisly spectacle.”

Buffy knelt down in front of her, and rested her head in her lap.

Buffy had a tear in her eye now.

“Hey,” Faith said, and took her in her arms. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m just...in a weird mood, baby,” Buffy said.

Faith didn’t really know what to do. She was angry with Buffy...Buffy had lied to her tonight, and she wondered how many other lies there had been. She felt like Buffy had betrayed her. Cheated on her. She’d been thinking about what she should do, how she should be, when Buffy got home. She hadn’t been able to decide. But that tear in Buffy’s eye decided for her.

Faith held her in her arms.

“Tell me what’s wrong, honey,” Faith whispered. “Let me make it better.”

“Just...kiss me, baby?” Buffy said. “Kiss me, and make it a great one.”

Faith kissed her.

Buffy felt it crackling through her...

Faith was a little distant, the rest of that night, and the next day: whenever Buffy wanted to lie down with her, she seemed to find excuses not to. When they started kissing, Faith was always the one who stopped first. Buffy didn’t understand it...

She sat at the table Sunday night, and ate the peanut butter and jelly sandwich Joyce had made for her because dinner had been meat loaf and Buffy hadn’t eaten much of it. Faith was in the bathroom.

“You didn’t have to make this for me,” Buffy said.

“I’m your mother,” Joyce said. “Of course I did.”

Buffy smiled.

“I don’t hate your meat loaf,” Buffy said.

“Yes, you do,” Joyce said, and smiled.

“Faith likes it.”

“How is she?”

“She’s good. Are you sure I’m not adopted and Faith’s not like, your actual long-lost daughter?”

Joyce kissed Buffy’s cheek.

“You’re my daughter,” Joyce said. “No one else could annoy me the way you do.”

“I practice,” Buffy said. “I come up with like, little routines. Can I ask you something huge and like, you’re probably gonna be freaked out but I need to ask you anyway?”

“Sure. You can’t get a tattoo and you can’t skip your first year of college to find yourself.”

“Can I have a pony?”

“No.”

“Faith’s...living in that motel,” Buffy said, looking down at the table. “And she doesn’t have a job and...she’s got money? Like, enough to keep her afloat there for a few months, but...”

“Do you want her to live here?” Joyce said.

“Could she?” Buffy said.

“Yes,” Joyce said.

“Well that was easy. How come that was so easy? That was totally easier than all the times I ask you if I can get a tattoo.”

“You can’t ever get a tattoo. I like Faith. And I don’t like her living in that cheap motel, in that lousy neighborhood. And someone should eat my meat loaf.”

Buffy got up out of her chair, and hugged her.

“I love you, Mom,” Buffy said.

“I know, Buffy,” Joyce said. “I love you too. So when are you going to ask her?”

“She’s not in trouble yet, she’s got money to last awhile. And Faith’s... complicated. She’s proud. I have to do this just right. She can’t feel like...”

Buffy let her senses reach out. Faith was still upstairs.

“She can’t feel like it’s charity,” Buffy said. “If she feels like we’re just feeling bad for her she’ll bail.”

“You should ask her soon,” Joyce said. “I don’t like her in that motel.”

“How come you like her so much?” Buffy said. “I mean...I don’t mean that like, you shouldn’t like her, I’m psyched that you like her, but...I’m just curious, I guess.”

“You know, that’s a good question,” Joyce said. “I guess...she just seems like a sister for you. Maybe because you’re both Slayers, maybe you two have a connection that I can kind of sense. I always wanted you to have a sister, you know. And that’s the way she feels to me. Like a little sister for you.”

“I always wanted a little sister too. How come I never got one?”

“I don’t know. Your father wasn’t as far up the ladder at work then as he would be later, and I was staying at home raising you before I went in on the art gallery. We only had your father’s income. And I guess...life just...got in the way. By the time we were comfortable enough financially, by the time we’d bought the house in Los Angeles and the art gallery was successful, things between your father and I...well...we had problems.”

“You always raised me. I always felt loved, always felt like I wasn’t missing anything. Even after he left, I never felt like I was missing anything. You’re an awesome Mom. You’re the best Mom in the world.”

“Thank you. Did you lose another pair of my earrings? Are you preemptively laying the groundwork for another earring confession?”

“No,” Buffy said, and giggled. “But I was thinking about asking if I could get a tattoo again.”

“Absolutely not,” Joyce said.

“Just a little one. A little one on my ankle. It wouldn’t even be bad. It would be like, a flower, or maybe some Chinese thing.”

“It would just be a little one?” Joyce said. “And you promise it wouldn’t be obnoxious?”

Buffy’s eyes lit up. “You totally have my word,” she said. “Cross my heart, hope to die. It would be the smallest, nicest little thing and you would never even notice it.”

Joyce smiled.

“Hmm. Well let me think about that...no,” Joyce said.

Buffy looked like someone had put coal in her Christmas stocking. Joyce started laughing, and hugged her.

“I’m sorry honey, I just couldn’t resist,” Joyce said. “The look on your face was priceless.”

“I’m adopted,” Buffy said. “I just totally know I’m adopted.”

“I’m your real mother, Buffy,” Joyce said. “No one else could annoy you the way I do.”

“Don’t wanna freak you out but we got a little problem here,” Faith said.

She was walking through the mall with Buffy two days later. They had just come out of Bloomingdale’s and they had been all smiles: Buffy had a big Bloomingdale’s bag full of thirty-percent off swag and Faith had managed to swipe a gorgeous little top; she put it on under her sweater. She’d been slick about it too; she’d stolen one of those devices they use to remove the magnetic tags a week before; it was like having the Keys to the City. She figured she was good to go and she felt footloose and fancy free...

But then a security guy followed them out of the store, talking on his walkie-talkie, and Faith noticed two more security guys at the other end of the mall heading in their direction, and Faith knew she had a situation. She couldn’t hit them. She couldn’t ever hurt an innocent person.

Rebecca would be ashamed of her if she did...

She’d rather get caught and spend time in jail for shoplifting than make Rebecca ashamed of her.

Still, the best plan was to not make Rebecca ashamed of her and to not spend time in jail. So she tried to locate the nearest exit in the few seconds she had before it all went south.

“What? What’s wrong? Vamps?” Buffy said, and looked around.

“Not vamps,” Faith said. The mall was crowded: it was Saturday afternoon and it was packed with giggling teenagers. Up ahead of them at the intersection there was a big crowd gathered around a couple of sweet Porsches. There was some kind of prize drawing going on; a guy in a bad suit holding a microphone in his hand was talking about twenty lucky winners who would get keys and have a chance to see if their keys started the cars, and there were hundreds of people there, all whooping and hollering and clapping and excited. Faith remembered there was an exit around the corner from the cars, down the hallway on the right. She looked around, casually. There were four security guys now, two behind and two in front. They’d reach her in about twenty seconds. “Okay, confession time,” Faith said. “I shoplifted a top and four mall security guys are following us, two in front and two behind.”

“What?” Buffy hissed. “Why?”

“How about we talk it out later and right now we get the hell out of here,” Faith said. She had to give Buffy credit. Buffy was still walking casually, not turning around, playing it cool.

“I don’t frigging believe this,” Buffy muttered, her face red. “You got a plan?”

“Yeah. There’s an exit around the corner to the right of the cars, at the end of that hall. We run. Ready?”

“Whatever,” Buffy said, and they started running.

“Okay, that’s far enough,” Faith said.

They stopped running. They were at the far end of a softball park and the mall was four blocks back. There was no sign of the security guys. Faith bet they had probably given up before they even made it out of the parking lot. Arresting people was one thing; having to chase them down was another and mall security guys didn’t make the kind of money that inspired them to go the extra mile.

“Feel like telling me what the hell you were thinking?” Buffy said.

“I don’t know,” Faith said. “I just...kinda liked the top.”

“Yeah? Well I don’t like feeling like a fucking thief!” Buffy screamed. “For all I know they’ve got me on tape there now, for all I know I can’t shop anymore there now! What the hell is wrong with you?”

“They...they don’t have you on tape,” Faith said. “I made sure not to change in the changing room or anywhere near cameras. And even if there was a camera I missed, I made sure you weren’t with me when I put the top on. Worst case they got me on tape, but not you.”

“Great,” Buffy said, as they started walking. It was after sunset now, and they were due at her house for dinner. “So you’re a thief.”

“Yeah,” Faith said, and just looked straight in front of her, into the gathering darkness, her face red. “Guess I am. Guess I’m a lot of stuff.”

They walked on in silence for a moment.

“You’re not a thief,” Buffy eventually said.

“Wearing the evidence,” Faith said. “Under my sweater.”

“Okay, you screwed up, okay?” Buffy said. “And...I blew up at you and I’m sorry. You’re not a thief. You just made a dumb move.”

“Look, I’m gonna...I’m gonna head back to my motel, okay?” Faith said. “I’m...kinda beat. Tell Joyce...I don’t know. I’ll catch her next time.”

“No,” Buffy said.

“No? No what?” Faith said.

“I...don’t want you to skip out on dinner,” Buffy said. “I want you to have dinner with us. Yeah okay, I blew up at you and embarrassed you and I’m sorry. I guess you’re a little pissed at me and I know I’m a little pissed at you. But that’s all it is. It’s something we’ll both forget about by tomorrow. I want you to have dinner with me and my Mom. I don’t want you back in that motel tonight. I don’t like you in there. I want you having dinner with me and then I want us to patrol afterwards like we planned.”

“Look, that’s nice and all but--” Faith said.

“Okay, I’m getting deja vu here,” Buffy said. “Remember our first night? We were both a little pig-headed. How about we skip that part and cut to us both just chilling out and being reasonable this time.”

Buffy took her hand.

“Faith,” she said. “I’m sorry, okay? I was just pissed, I didn’t mean it. I want you to have dinner with me, I don’t like you in that motel all alone. Please?”

“Buffy...” Faith said. She couldn’t look at her. “I need to be apologizing, not you. I...embarrassed you and almost got you in trouble and I’m sorry.”

Buffy gently turned Faith toward her, so she could look at her, and smiled.

“Then make it up to me,” she said. “Have dinner with me.”

Dinner had been going well. Faith was still a little uncomfortable around Joyce but she was making strides with it and she was pretty sure Joyce hadn’t noticed. Things had started out quiet because of what happened at the mall but Buffy had been slowly chipping away at Faith’s mood and Faith had allowed it, letting her guard down as the night went on. Dinner was chicken and Joyce made a good chicken, and then they had all laughed when Buffy told the story of Xander and the giant praying mantis lady, and Faith had even gotten Joyce to blush when she mentioned that she thought Giles was cute. Joyce looked like Buffy when she blushed. Faith found herself having a good time.

And then on the way out of the bathroom Faith overheard Joyce talking to Buffy about how Buffy could take off for college out of state after graduation, and Faith could hang around Sunnydale and take over as the Slayer.

“You’re going to fill out all those college applications, right?” Faith heard Joyce say.

“Yeah, I’ll fill them all out this week,” Faith heard Buffy say.

“I think you’ll like going away to school, and being somewhere new,” Faith heard Joyce say. “It’ll be like an adventure. And with Faith here, Sunnydale will be okay.”

“Yeah,” Faith heard Buffy say.

As Faith stood at the top of the stairs, listening, she knew she really couldn’t blame Joyce. It’s not like Faith had anything better to do; Buffy had a future and she didn’t. That’s just the way it was. Buffy was smart and she wasn’t. Buffy had a Mom who loved her and she didn’t. No reason for Buffy to spend her life shoveling shit against the Hellmouth tide when there was a dumb girl who couldn’t do anything but fight and shoplift just hanging around...

“You were quiet tonight,” Buffy said.

They were patrolling through a cemetery on the east side of town; Faith didn’t remember its name. It looked like all the rest anyway. Still, Faith knew she should probably pay attention. This was going to be her life, after Buffy left her.

There was no moon. The sky was black. The weather was turning cold.

“Dinner was good. Joyce is nice,” Faith said. She thought she should probably reach out with her senses, tune into her nose. But she didn’t really see a reason to bother. If there were vampires, they’d find her and come at her. And then they’d die or she would. Same as every other day. And then one day one of them would kill her, and then there’d be some other girl, some other Watcher...

“You’re still pissed at me,” Buffy said.

“I’m not pissed at you,” Faith said.

“Then what is it?”

“I’m just...feelin’ kinda quiet I guess. Joyce didn’t think I was rude, did she? I mean, it’s nice of her, having me over. She’s a great Mom.”

“No. She just thought you were a little shy tonight, that’s all.”

They stopped in front of a crypt, and sat on two big marble urns.

“Faith, I don’t know how many times you want me to say it,” Buffy said. “I’m sorry I called you a thief, I just...I lost my temper. I didn’t mean it. I don’t know what to do to get you to believe me.”

“Already told you, I’m not pissed at you,” Faith said.

“Then what is it?”

“Nothing. Look...you’ve shown me around all the cemeteries pretty good, I can take it from here.”

“What? What do you mean?”

“I mean y’know, patrolling. You don’t have to hold my hand anymore. I can take it from here. Figure from now on, if you wanna patrol or whatever, we can coordinate, like, you do one section of town, I do the other. Kind of a waste of resources, us always being together all the time. I mean, there are probably vamps we could bag that we’re missing, people we could save that we’re missing by not separating. We’d cover more ground separate.”

“What is this?” Buffy said, and stood up. “You don’t...you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“I just mean...it’s...more efficient,” Faith said. “We split up, cover more ground, save more lives maybe.”

“Yeah. You know what? I’ve been saying I’m sorry all frigging day and I’m tired of it,” Buffy said, looking away from her, her face red. “I’m not the one who stole that top, I’m not the one who got us into this. So you wanna be pissed at me forever about this? You don’t...don’t wanna be with me anymore over some little bullshit thing like this? Fine.”

“Buffy...c’mon, that’s not...” Faith called out, as Buffy stormed away.

“I guess you never really...never really liked me in the first place then,” Buffy said, her voice shaky, and walked away.

A moment later Buffy marched right back at her.

“This isn’t fair!” Buffy shouted. “It isn’t fair how you’re...how you’re totally holding this over my head like this! I said I was sorry like a hundred times and you won’t even talk to me! Why did you even shoplift that stupid fucking thing in the first place?! You’ve got three-thousand dollars! Why did...?”

Buffy suddenly stopped talking. She looked down at the ground.

Then she walked away from Faith, and sat back down.

“You don’t have three-thousand dollars,” Buffy said. “Whenever we’ve gone out to eat lately you’ve been ordering the cheapest stuff, dollar menu stuff. Every time. I could tell you were hungrier than that. Whenever my Mom’s cooked lately you’ve been eating as much food as my Mom could heap on your plate. Because you’re hungry, aren’t you? Budgeting your money’s one thing, but there’s no way you’d let yourself go without eating just to save a few bucks. Your money ran out awhile back, didn’t it? I’m an idiot. I should’ve seen it.”

Faith looked out at the cemetery. She saw her life there, stretching out in front of her. She wondered if she’d beat the odds...if she’d make it past nineteen. What was the point anyway?

Always more vampires. Always another girl.

“How much money do you have left?” Buffy said.

“I got money,” Faith said.

“Great,” Buffy said. “So now you’re lying to me too.”

“You mean lying on top of stealing?” Faith said.

“And it comes up yet again. There should be a drinking game maybe.”

They looked out at the cemetery.

“I took you to all those great fabulous stores and you could never afford to buy a single thing and you kept smiling through it,” Buffy said.

“You made me smile,” Faith said.

“How much money do you have left?” Buffy said.

“Look, don’t worry about me, okay?” Faith said. “I gotta go. From now on we should...we should split up our patrols, take different sections of town. It’s just more efficient. We’ll save more people.”

Faith stood up. She didn’t look at Buffy.

“I mean, that’s the job, right? That’s why we’re out here,” Faith said. “So y’know, let’s do the job. I need to get a feel for the town myself now, you’ve showed me around enough. I got any questions I’ll ask. Look, I’m gonna take off, okay? Nothin’ doin’ out here tonight. Take it easy, I’ll catch ya later.”

And Faith walked away...and left Buffy alone, looking out at the cemetery...at her life, stretching out in front of her...