Sixteen

OLD WOUNDS

Buffy sat on the bed, with her hands in her lap, looking at the closet.

Faith’s scent came to her. A little fruity, like a peach. With a hint of muskiness underneath.

“If you don’t want to be with me anymore? There are...there are some ground rules,” Buffy said.

“Ground rules?” Faith said.

“We have all these new vamps and they’re after Willow but...they know you too and for all I know they could come after you,” Buffy said “So if...you don’t want to be with me you have to...I want you to...”

Buffy started to cry.

“I want you to stay here,” Buffy said. “So...I can protect you. You can... bring Tara here if you want.”

“Uh-huh,” Faith said. “Look at me.”

Buffy didn’t look at her. She cried, and her shoulders began to shake.

“I don’t even get a look?” Faith said. “I don’t get to see your face?”

Buffy turned and looked at her. Faith was leaning in the doorway, with her arms folded across her chest. She still wore the coat Buffy had given her.

Faith walked into the room, knelt down in front of her, and took Buffy’s hands in hers.

“This whole day,” Faith said. “Was it about tryin’ to get me to dump you? Was that the plan all along? That what you want?”

Buffy shook her head.

“You wanna dump me then?” Faith said. “You not happy with me maybe? Thinkin’ twice about our thing? You bailin’ on me? Decide, Buffy. Now.”

“I want...I want to be with you, baby,” Buffy whispered. “But I don’t know...if you want to be with me.”

Faith kissed her.

“I do, beautiful,” Faith said. Buffy’s tears were on her. Buffy’s scent was on her. “I do. And I don’t just want it. I need it too. I’ll stay with you as long as you’ll have me.”

Buffy nodded, and smiled. They kissed again. Faith kissed Buffy’s tears, until they were gone. She fixed Buffy’s hair, smoothed it out of her eyes.

Faith looked down at Buffy’s hands. She rolled up Buffy’s sleeves. She looked at her wrists.

The scars were tiny, insubstantial things, now. They were white, and faded. But they were still there. Faith kissed them, and started to cry.

Then she stopped herself.

“Why’d you do this?” Faith said.

“I don’t know,” Buffy said.

Faith nodded.

“Small. Faded. I never noticed them,” Faith said.

“Slayer healing,” Buffy said. “Plus I try to hide them.”

Faith kissed Buffy’s wrists again.

“How come you thought I’d leave?” Faith said. “Told you I love you. Don’t you believe me?”

“I just...I thought...you’d think I was...disgusting,” Buffy said. “That I wasn’t like...what a Slayer should be. That I wasn’t...worthy of you.”

“Won’t lie to ya, it threw me that you dated a vamp. But that’s all it did. It threw me. It confused me. But I didn’t judge you. I wasn’t thinking less of you. I love you just as much now as before Will and me talked. More, maybe. You had it tough and you were brave and strong and you were my girl.”

“I’m your girl?”

“Yeah. You are.”

Buffy smiled.

“You still love him,” Faith said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

“You love me?”

“Yeah.”

“Am I your choice? Or him?”

Buffy kissed her.

“You,” Buffy said.

“Okay,” Faith said. “Took guts havin’ Will tell me that stuff. Took guts, when you didn’t know how I’d act after. Outside of Becca you’re the strongest person I ever met, Buffy. She would’ve liked you.”

“I would’ve liked her too.”

“’Til it was time for your first pain in the butt morning run.”

“How early?”

“Seven.”

“Yup, woulda hated her.”

They laughed. Faith caressed Buffy’s hair some more, and kissed her wrists again.

“Back in Boston, before Becca found me. I lived on the street, for a couple years, y’know?” Faith said. “My mother used to kick the shit out of me so I took off. I crashed on couches, went to parties, did what I could to get out of the cold, get some food in my belly. I was always shiverin’, always all skin and bones. When it got real cold and I couldn’t sleep outside anymore, if a guy runnin’ a party was cute? I’d make out with him, give him a blowjob. So I could stay. Word got around. I was like the party girl of the neighborhood. I was the skank of the neighborhood. I was a whore. Sure, I didn’t stand on a street corner doin’ it for money or anything. I only did it with guys I liked, so I could hang out at their place for a few days, get a few free meals, and I never went all the way with them. But I figure it’s the same difference though. I figure I was a whore anyway. Am I worthy of you? Do you want to leave me now?”

Buffy kissed her.

“I want to stay with you, as long as you’ll have me,” Buffy said. “I think you’re the most beautiful woman in the world and I want to be with you for the rest of my life.”

“Okay,” Faith said.

They looked at each other.

“This coat,” Faith said. “I really liked it when I first tried it on in the store. I wanted it pretty bad. I was tempted to shoplift it. Know why I didn’t?”

“Why?” Buffy said.

“Because when I was wearing it, in front of the mirror at Bloomingdale’s? You called me beautiful. It was the first time you ever called me beautiful. That made this coat special to me. I decided right then that if I wanted it I’d have to find a way to get it honestly.”

Buffy smiled.

“Remember our first day?” Faith said.

“I was a bitch,” Buffy said.

“So was I. Did you ever in a million years believe we’d end up here?”

“No.”

“Life’s crazy sometimes. Doesn’t mean it’s not good. Doesn’t mean there aren’t rewards...precious things you find. Beautiful things. I’m the luckiest girl in the world, Buffy. I used to have no self-respect and think the world was all shittin’ all over me and I was always feelin’ bad for myself. I wanted to die. When Becca found me I was in an alley covered with garbage and four vamps were about to kill me. She saved my life that night. Then she saved me again, every single day after that. It was my birthday, when she found me and saved me. It was my birthday, when you told me you love me and saved me again.”

“I love you, baby,” Buffy said.

“I love you too,” Faith said.

“Come to bed with me?” Buffy said.

“Show me the pictures first,” Faith said. “I need to see.”

“Shoebox in the closet.”

Faith walked to the closet and opened it. It was a big walk-in closet with enough clothes hanging in it to outfit the Philippines. The floor of the closet was shoes stretching out in all directions in a vista of unbroken fabulousness that Imelda Marcos would have called a good, solid foundation.

“Shit girl, you got some serious shoes in here. So borrowin’ these,” Faith said. “All of ‘em. Especially those pretty black boots over there. Mine.”

“I’m borrowing those Givenchys,” Buffy said.

“Sure thing, lover. Where am I looking?”

“Top shelf, right corner in the back, under the blanket.”

“Not likin’ closets too much after what Angelus did to Will.”

“Are you gonna try to kill Angel when he gets here?”

“No. Want to. Won’t.”

“Why?”

Faith found the shoebox under the blanket, took it down from the shelf, and brought it back to the bed.

“Auntie Will says no,” Faith said. “And you don’t want me to either. And we need him.” She sat next to Buffy on the bed.

“Auntie Will,” Buffy said, and smiled.

“Yeah,” Faith said. “She can be my auntie if she wants. No way Xander’s my uncle though. He’d goof on me all day. Gotta draw the line somewhere. Givin’ you fair warning by the way, I’m planning on being pretty damn impolite to Angel when he gets here. Probably impertinent too.”

“Make fun of his hair. He hates that.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Faith opened the shoebox and took out thirty six photographs. She spread them out on the bed.

“Jesus Christ,” Faith said.

They were photos of little girls. In eighteen of the photos, the girls were alive. They were playing at the park, and at the beach, and in their front yards... they were alive...they were all smiling.

In the other eighteen photos, the same girls were dead. They were lying on a concrete floor. Each one had her throat torn out. The photos of the dead girls were close-ups; no useful information could be gained about their location. Each photo contained a concrete floor, and a child’s dead body, and nothing else.

“He stalked them first,” Faith said. “They’re all happy in the first pics. How the hell did he get pictures of them in the sun? Telephoto lens maybe, while he was inside somewhere?”

“He always...was meticulous, about stuff,” Buffy said. “When he came up with plans...everything was always perfect, right down to the smallest detail.”

Faith picked up a photo at random and looked at it. A smiling blonde-haired girl with big blue eyes was playing with a black labrador retriever puppy in her front yard. She was squirting it with a garden hose, and laughing. “Young,” Faith said. “This girl couldn’t have been more than maybe six.”

“Amanda Pickering,” Buffy said.

Faith put the photo down, and picked up another. The girl in the photo had long red hair and freckles. She sat on the beach, making a sandcastle.

“Lisa Cooper,” Buffy said.

“You know their names?” Faith said.

“He wrote them on the back.”

Faith looked at the back of the photo. Lisa Cooper, age seven, was written there, in beautiful, flowing script.

“Nice handwriting,” Faith said.

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

“You know all the names? Got ’em all memorized?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “They’re never gonna grow up because of me, least I can do is know their names.”

Faith looked up at her.

“Not because of you,” Faith said. “Because of him.”

“Because of me,” Buffy said, and started to cry again. “Because of me, because of me.”

“No, baby,” Faith said, and took her in her arms. “No.”

“Because of me,” Buffy said, and collapsed in Faith’s arms, and cried...

“No, baby.”

“They were...they were just little. They didn’t, didn’t do anything to anybody...they didn’t. Why did he...why did he do that to them? Why did he have to...? Why couldn’t he kill me? Why couldn’t he? Why couldn’t he, just, just kill me...? They’re not gonna grow up, Faith. They’re never gonna grow up...”

Buffy started shaking. Faith held her tight.

“They were just BABIES!” Buffy screamed, as Faith held her to her bosom. “They’re never gonna...gonna go to school or...have their first crush or anything! They’re never gonna live, because of me. He should’ve killed me. He should’ve killed me. I should be dead, I should be dead, not them. I should be dead.”

“No,” Faith said, and kissed her, and held her. “No.”

“I should be dead...” Buffy whispered.

“So now Faith knows,” Xander said. He was on the couch in the living room, drinking a beer. It was one of his secrets for dealing with life as a Slayer’s friend. Beer kept the edge off. Willow was sitting beside him, with her head in his lap, staring at the Key on the coffee table. She nodded.

“How’d she take it?” Xander said. “She gonna hang in?”

“Freaked a little,” Willow said. “Kinda, um, wants to kill Angel, a lot. But she’s gonna hang in with Buffy. She loves her.”

“Good. And if Faith wants she can join my ‘Hey Let’s Just Fucking Dust Angel And Get It Over With’ club. Dues are reasonable. I’m the president.”

“I might wanna be vice-president. Are you gonna make a scene when he gets here? Are you gonna make this harder on everyone?”

“I don’t intend to. But in all honesty? Yeah, probably.”

Willow kissed him, and went back to lying in his lap.

“Does Faith know about L.A. too?” Xander said.

“Yeah,” Willow said. “Buffy said tell her everything.”

“How’d she take it?”

“Cried.”

“You sure she won’t take a run at Angel?

“I told her, y’know, me and Buffy kinda don’t want her to. I think Faith will hold herself back for us. Don’t think she likes it much though.”

“What about...the stuff Angelus said to you in the car. Faith knows about that too now?”

“Um...yeah,” Willow said. “I mean...I don’t...really like to talk about that so...I mean...I didn’t go into details. She knows he said stuff...about wanting to kidnap me and kill me. But I didn’t like, give her exact quotes.”

“Didn’t give me exact quotes either,” Xander said.

“He said he was gonna kidnap me and lock me in a closet. He said he’d rape me every day.”

Xander’s face turned red. He looked straight ahead, at the far wall.

“You want to know, right?” Willow said.

“Yeah,” Xander said.

Willow sat up, and leaned her head on his shoulder.

“He said he was gonna capture Joyce too, to lure Buffy. Once Buffy got there he was gonna make her give herself to him, make her let him chain her up, in exchange for letting Joyce live. Then he was gonna let Joyce go, so she could have to live with the knowledge that Buffy being captured was her fault.”

Xander’s body was rigid; his hands were balled up into fists.

“Then he was gonna rape Buffy every day, and make me...make me join in. If I didn’t he said he would kill Buffy in front of me. Plus I’d still be living in the closet, and he’d still rape me every day too. Eventually he said he was gonna make me a vampire, but only if I said ‘please’ first. If I didn’t say please I’d have to live in the closet for the rest of my life. I was gonna be the new Dru. He said I was gonna be his next masterpiece. He was gonna break me, and turn me. And then, once he turned me, he was gonna...have me be the one who kills Buffy.”

Xander didn’t say anything. He sat still, and looked straight ahead.

“Now you know...what he said. I don’t...I don’t want to keep secrets from you,” Willow said. “But...I want to put all that behind me. I don’t want to talk about it anymore. Okay?”

Xander nodded.

“You okay, sweetie?” Willow said.

He put his arm around her, and kissed her.

“I have you,” he said. “I’ll be okay.”

“You’ll...be okay with...Angel?” Willow said.

“No. But I won’t try to kill him. I told Buffy I wouldn’t. And...you’re not the only one Angel...Angelus...hurt. He hurt Buffy too, and she’s being all about the mission. Guess I can be all about the mission too.”

“She would’ve killed him yesterday, if I hadn’t stopped her.”

“Yeah. Buffy killing Angel. Kinda like my dream come true. You said she really kicked the shit out of him, huh?”

“I didn’t see the whole thing, I was heading back to the car when I heard the chandelier fall. I ran back and the place looked like a hurricane hit it and Angel was just...his whole face was bloody. His nose looked broke. He was just lying there, letting her beat him up. I think...he wants to die.”

“Can’t blame him. Fucker should die.”

“Maybe. I said that to him too...but...Angel and Angelus aren’t the same, Xander. I mean, what if you or I lost our souls? What kind of people would we become? When his curse--”

“He never told us about it.”

“What?”

“His curse,” Xander said. “When we all first met him? Once he proved to Buffy that he was on our side, that he wanted to help? Sure, he eventually told Buffy about his past as Angelus, because he knew Giles would figure it out anyway. And he told her about how those gypsies gave him his soul, because he knew telling her he has a soul made it easier for Buffy to accept him. But he never told Buffy--never told anyone--that a moment of perfect happiness could make him lose his soul. He knew, Willow. He knew it was a risk, being with Buffy, that he could lose his soul. And he didn’t care. He didn’t tell us. If he had told Buffy about it, maybe they wouldn’t have...”

“They would have,” Willow said. “Xander...you can’t help who you love. Even if she knew the risk, Buffy would have slept with him eventually. Yeah, she would have tried to stay away maybe? But...she loved him. Being smart, and sensible? Thinking like, tactically? When you fall in love all that stuff goes out the window. You just...follow your heart.”

“Even if it takes you over a cliff,” Xander said.

“Over a cliff...” Willow said, and smiled, and rested her hand on his crotch. “Down your pants...”

“I’ve been noticing that whenever we have awkward, uncomfortable conversations you always try to distract me with your feminine wiles.”

“Noticed that, huh?” Willow said, and kissed him, and unzipped his pants.

“Will...that stuff...he said to you.”

“It’s...behind us. It’s...it doesn’t matter. If we let it...if we let it interfere with us, if we let it get to us...I don’t want it to change things. I don’t want it to matter anymore. Xander...it only has power over us if, if we let it.”

She kissed him.

“So don’t let it,” she said. “Please? Let’s...forget about it?”

He touched her cheek. He looked her in the eyes.

“Please, baby?” Willow whispered. “For me?”

“Okay,” he said. “Can’t ever say no to my cowgirl.”

Willow smiled, and pulled down his jeans.

“On the couch?” Xander said, as Willow caressed him over his boxers. “Risky. If they come back down...”

“I, um, have a feeling they’re gonna be up there for awhile,” Willow said.

“I love you, baby,” Xander said, and took her in his arms, and kissed her. Willow pulled down his boxers, and took his dick in her hand, and stroked it.

Xander tried to lift Willow’s sweater. She shook her head, and gently pushed him back against the couch.

“What...are you doing?” Xander said, and grinned.

Willow cupped his balls in one hand, and stroked his dick with the other. She kissed his neck, and smiled.

“You’ve been captured behind enemy lines, Specialist,” Willow murmured. “I’m interrogating you.”

“I’m...gonna reveal everything I know,” Xander said. “All the like... classified...information.”

“Not yet,” Willow said. “I’m gonna need to torture you for awhile longer first.” She went on slowly stroking him, caressing his balls with one hand, and his dick with the other, while she kissed his neck.

“Not sure...how long I can take this punishment,” Xander said.

“You’re a brave soldier. You can hold out for awhile. Until I bring out the soft cushions. Once I start poking you with the soft cushions you’re gonna fold right up.”

Xander giggled. “Gonna poke you with something in a minute.”

“Something soft?” Willow whispered in his ear, and licked it. “Or something hard?”

“Guess what?” he whispered.

“What?” she whispered.

“I’m planning on escaping,” he said, and kissed her. “I’m gonna overpower the guard.”

“You are, huh?”

He threw her down on the couch. She gasped, and laughed.

He held both of her hands in one of his, and unbuttoned her blouse. She made a little show of trying to sit up again, but he had her pinned.

Willow felt her pussy getting wet.

“You’re gonna have to...do better than that to overpower this guard,” Willow whispered. “I’ve had...combat training.”

She tried harder to get up, but she still couldn’t move. He had her blouse unbuttoned. He unsnapped her bra. Her breasts were perfectly round and very pale, with big, light pink areolae and large nipples. Her nipples were hard. Xander began kissing them, and released her hands.

Willow grabbed his hand and locked it around her wrists again.

“Don’t you gotta...make sure I don’t escape?” Willow said. “And maybe...you should give me orders.”

“Will you obey the orders?” Xander whispered, and kissed her.

“Come up here,” Willow whispered.

“Thought I was the one giving the orders,” he said, and unzipped her jeans, and started awkwardly pulling them down with one hand. He wasn’t making much headway; they were tight.

“Once you come up here, you can give all the orders,” Willow said. She was moaning now.

He knelt over her chest. His dick was fully erect and it stuck straight out, inches from her face. It was dark red; his dick always got that color when it was hard. Willow always thought his dick looked angry. She always wanted to kiss it and make it feel better.

He held her down with one hand, and looked down into her eyes.

She hadn’t told him that she had Faith’s memories. She wasn’t sure she ever would...it would complicate things. She knew he’d always be comparing himself to Buffy...

She moved her head forward, to take him in her mouth...

He moved back slightly, pulling it just out of her reach, and smiled.

“First order is, don’t move,” he said, and released her hands. “Stay like this.” She nodded.

He kicked off his shoes, and took off his jeans and his boxers. He took off Willow’s sneakers, and wrestled her out of her jeans. He caressed her pussy, over her panties. A shudder went through her, and she opened her legs.

She held her hands back behind her head, where he’d left them.

He slowly pulled her panties down, raising her legs in the air as he did it. By the time he slipped them off her feet, both of her legs were over his shoulders.

Her legs were curvy, and creamy white. Her socks were pink with little white hearts.

Her pussy was soaked now. She closed her eyes. She felt flushed...she felt herself becoming hot, all over...

Xander leaned forward, and kissed her...

Buffy kissed her.

It wasn’t a romantic kiss. It wasn’t tender. It was hungry. Buffy’s lips tore into Willow’s, her tongue jammed into Willow’s mouth, her hands wrenched Willow’s hair, pulling her closer.

Xander took Willow’s hands in his again, and held her down. He rubbed his dick against her clit. She began moaning, and thrusting her hips forward.

Buffy snarled as she kissed her. She looped Willow’s long, dark hair like a rope around her hand, holding it in her fist, holding Willow in place as she forced their tongues together and moved her hand across Willow’s breasts, and up and down her thighs. Willow whimpered, as they kissed, and Buffy forced her tongue deeper into her, and yanked her hair so hard Willow thought she might tear it out of her head.

Xander gently rubbed Willow’s clit with his dick. But he didn’t bring himself inside. Willow’s moans got louder, and faster.

“I might...escape,” Willow murmured. “You should...you should hold my hair too. Make sure...I don’t escape.”

Xander took Willow’s hair in his hand, and caressed it.

“You should...hold it tight, like, yank it a little. Hold me in place,” Willow murmured.

Xander held Willow in place by the hair, and looked into her eyes...

Buffy’s eyes were hard and bright like diamonds and the terrible light in them scared Willow...she felt like some small, helpless animal. She felt like prey.

Willow knew she was looking into the Slayer’s eyes.

“You belong to me,” Buffy said. “You’re mine.”

Willow thought her voice sounded strange. It was Buffy’s voice, and yet it wasn’t...it was the Slayer’s voice. It sounded like a cold wind rustling through leaves at night...it sounded like stealthy footfalls in the tall grass.

Willow was frozen. She wanted to look away from Buffy’s eyes, they frightened her, but she couldn’t...Buffy’s eyes held her, and wouldn’t let her go...

“Say it,” Buffy snarled, and showed Willow her teeth, and yanked Willow’s hair again, making her wince with pain, and bringing tears to her eyes.

“I belong to you,” Willow whispered, shaking a little now.

“I belong to you,” Willow whispered, as Xander went on teasing her clit with his dick, and looked down into her eyes...

And Willow remembered Buffy’s eyes...eyes that were hard and bright like diamonds, with a terrible light that scared her...that made her wet.

“And I belong to you, cowgirl,” Xander said.

Willow was thrusting her hips out like she was fucking now, but he hadn’t entered her yet; he was still teasing her clit. Her blood pulsed through her.

He kissed her neck...

“Give me your neck,” Buffy said.

Still shaking, Willow moved her hair aside, and turned the left side of her neck to Buffy, where Buffy had bitten her before. Buffy growled, and dragged her teeth across it...

Willow squealed, as Buffy bit into her neck--slowly, gently, careful not to penetrate too deep. But she bit deeper than she had the last time, and her teeth felt like razors. Willow wrapped her arms and legs around Buffy, and held on tight to her, as Buffy snarled, and began taking her blood, and swallowing it.

Xander rubbed her clit harder with his dick as he kissed Willow’s neck; he was fucking her clit now. Willow wrapped her legs around him, and began to squeal. She felt like she was shaking all over...

Buffy moved her hand between Willow’s legs, and began caressing her there. Willow shuddered at her touch. It sent a spasm through her that rocked her from the top of her head to the tips of her toes.

Xander kept fucking her clit...Willow felt like a violin. She knew she was about to...

Willow had tears in her eyes. She realized she had just orgasmed.

Willow came, thrashing around and gasping underneath him...

“I wanna...I wanna blow you,” Willow whispered, when her breathing calmed down. “I wanna get on my knees and blow you before we do it.”

“I’m giving the orders here, remember?” Xander said.

Buffy took Willow by the hair again, looping it around her fist like a rope, and got up. She walked toward one of the chairs near the window, dragging Willow after her by her hair. Her grip was gentle but firm; she wasn’t yanking Willow’s hair, she was holding it like a leash. Willow crawled after her, her pussy getting wet again.

“But actually I think you’re onto something there,” Xander said. He got up off of her, and Willow got down on her knees in front of him as he sat back on the couch. She knew he was close to coming too, and since she wanted him to fuck her for a good long time it would be better if she finished him off this way first and then saved the actual fucking for the second round. Xander had some beer in him, and whenever he had some beer in him he lasted almost forever the second time; their record was fifty-seven minutes. She wanted to beat that record today.

“If you don’t hold me still I could escape,” Willow whispered, and took his hand, and brought it to her hair.

Xander took her hair in his hand again.

Buffy opened her legs, and brought Willow to her pussy lips.

“Make me come now, baby,” Buffy said.

“Do you...want me to make you come?” Willow whispered, and looked up into his eyes...and remembered Buffy’s...

He nodded. She took him in her mouth...

Willow suddenly felt like she was going to explode. She rammed her mouth against Buffy’s pussy, stuck her tongue as far inside as it would go and began sucking on her clit. Buffy’s clit was small, but it grew larger as Willow took all of it in her mouth and sucked on it.

Willow had given Xander a good number of blowjobs and she knew what he liked; she caressed his balls, and kept her mouth near the top of his dick. He wasn’t very sensitive along the shaft, but he loved her mouth toward the top...

“That’s...yeah, Will...yeah...God you’re good at that, honey,” Xander moaned, as Willow sucked his dick.

It didn’t take him long to come. After a minute Willow felt it; his dick began to shudder in her mouth, and she tasted his pre-cum on her tongue. He always tasted salty, and a little bitter.

Willow remembered the way Buffy’s pussy had tasted...sweet, and tangy. She tried to put the thought out of her mind...

“Oh God, baby...” Buffy whispered, and threw her head back, and moaned...

“Yeah, honey...yeah...” Xander whispered, and his threw his head back, and moaned, and came in her mouth.

She’d just started letting him come in her mouth the week before. It was easier than always having to figure out where to aim it and then having to clean up afterwards. She didn’t like the taste, so she always swallowed it quickly. It was like taking medicine. Luckily he never came too much; he came in a series of quick spurts, but it all usually added up to a couple of tablespoons. And it always shot straight down her throat, so she didn’t have to taste it much on her tongue.

It was too salty, too bitter.

Buffy tasted sweet, and tangy...

Willow tried to put the thought out of her mind...

Faith laid with Buffy on the bed, holding her in her arms, and looking down into her eyes.

Buffy held onto Faith, as tightly as she could.

The photos were back in the shoebox.

“You’re my girl,” Faith said, and caressed Buffy’s cheek. “You’ll always be my girl. You understand that?”

Buffy nodded.

“And I love you,” Faith said. “You understand that?”

Buffy nodded.

“I always will,” Faith said. “No matter what. You understand that too?”

Buffy nodded.

“I’m gonna help you with this, Buffy,” Faith said. “All this stuff. We’re gonna get through it together. Me and you. Okay, beautiful?”

“Okay,” Buffy whispered, and tears filled her eyes.

“My girl,” Faith whispered, and held Buffy close, and kissed her. “Love my girl.”

Willow leaned her head back, and moaned.

Xander licked her between her legs.

The exercise regimen she had put him on had worked wonders: his tongue was a lot stronger than it used to be...

Buffy moved between her legs, a lion looking down at a fresh kill, and began gently licking Willow’s pussy. Her tongue was soft, and warm, and a shudder went through Willow at its touch.

“I told you I wouldn’t let you escape,” Xander said, looking up at her from between her legs with that goofy smile he had...

“We’ll see, baby,” Willow purred, and smiled, with her legs up over his shoulders...

Buffy never took her eyes off Willow, as she feasted; she held Willow’s eyes in hers, and never once allowed Willow to look away...

Willow ran her fingers through Xander’s hair, as he sucked on her clit, and alternated that with tonguing her pussy.

Willow closed her eyes...

She saw Buffy, looking back at her...

She saw Buffy’s eyes, like diamonds in the dark...

Willow came, with a little scream this time; she grit her teeth together, and tried to stifle the scream, tried to hold it back. She didn’t want to be too loud. If Buffy heard, and came down to see what the noise was...if she saw...

She didn’t want Buffy to see her with Xander.

Willow cried when she came, and Buffy moved up beside her again, and kissed her tears away. She held Willow in her arms, and rubbed her belly.

Xander moved on top of Willow, and held her in his arms, and caressed her hair. Willow looked up into his eyes.

Willow looked up into Buffy’s bright, sharp eyes, and felt special. Those eyes were hard to look at without looking away; there was still something frightening in them. But Willow knew she didn’t have to be frightened. She was Buffy’s cub. She knew Buffy would never hurt her. Buffy’s eyes swallowed hers up...she got lost in them. Willow knew she belonged to Buffy. That was all that mattered. Willow didn’t want anything else.

“It’s time, baby,” Buffy whispered, as she rubbed Willow’s belly. “I’m gonna take you now.”

“Ready to follow orders, cowgirl?” Xander whispered, as he caressed her hair. Willow felt him, against her; he was hard again.

“Whatever you want,” Willow said. “I’ll do anything for you. I’ll die for you.”

“Whatever you want,” Willow said.

“The correct response is, ‘yes, sir’,” Xander said, and moved his dick against her pussy lips.

“Spread your legs for me, Faith,” Buffy said.

“What...what are you gonna do?” Willow said, and slowly opened her legs.

Willow felt something against her pussy lips.

“I order you to let me have my evil way with you,” Xander said, and smiled his goofy smile.

“I’m gonna fuck your brains out, baby,” Buffy whispered in her ear.

“What’s...what’s that...?” Willow whispered, and tried to look under the covers. But Buffy grabbed her by the hair, yanking it hard, like a leash. Willow squealed.

“Look at me,” Buffy said.

“I’m...gonna try to escape,” Willow murmured, as she felt herself parting for him. “Gonna have to...hold me down. Make sure I don’t...get away.”

Xander took her hand, but she shook her head. She moved his hand to her hair. He took her by the hair, and held her still.

He kissed her, and looked down into her eyes.

Buffy kissed her, and looked down into her eyes.

“This is our night,” Buffy said. “Of all the nights we’ve had, all the ones we’re gonna have, this is the one you’re always gonna remember as the night I claimed you. This is the night I say you belong to me. This is the night I take you and make you mine. And I want you to look at me when I take you, Faith. I want you to look into my eyes.”

“This...this whole thing...it’s...different,” Xander said. “You’re different today. You never wanted me to like, pull your hair and stuff before.”

“Is it...okay?” Willow said. “I just...wanted something...a little different.”

“Anything for my cowgirl,” Xander said. “Uh...drawing the line at whips and chains though.”

He moved himself into her. He went in easily; they’d been making love for a month and a half and they fit like a glove now.

“How...are you gonna...?” Willow started to say...

And then she screamed, as Buffy thrust into her and penetrated her, as far as she could go. Willow felt every inch of it, filling her up; it slid in easily but it stretched her out, made her expand to accommodate it.

Willow felt a wave of panic rushing through her; it felt like flood waters, steadily rising...she thought she might drown...

“No, Buffy no!” Willow screamed. “You’re too big, you’re too big...!”

“Is that good, baby?” Xander said, as he began slowly fucking her.

“Sshhh, baby,” Buffy said.

Willow shook her head, and started to cry again.

“You’re too big,” Willow whispered, and looked away from her, and sobbed into the pillow. “I can’t, I can’t...”

“Yeah...feels...perfect, baby,” Willow whispered, as she moved in time with him. She moved down the couch a little underneath him, and moved her knees up to her stomach, so she could take all of him, as far as he could go.

“Yeah...it always does,” Xander said, and kissed her.

Willow nodded, and moaned, and closed her eyes...and pictured him. His eyes...his smile...

“Look at me!” Buffy shouted.

Willow looked up at her, still sobbing.

“You’re afraid,” Buffy said.

Willow tried to think of Xander.

Instead she thought of diamond eyes, and jasmine...

Buffy thrust into her, and looked down into her eyes, and Willow looked back. The room was quiet. Willow concentrated on Buffy’s eyes, and took in her scent. Jasmine.

After the initial pain when Buffy had plunged all the way into her and Willow’s pussy had adjusted and stretched out to accommodate her, it didn’t hurt. Buffy was going slow. Willow felt filled up, but not in a painful way.

Willow put her arms around Buffy, and kissed her shoulder. Buffy caressed her cheek, and kept going slow...

Willow put her arms around Xander, and kissed his shoulder.

Buffy started moving faster, bringing it almost all the way out, and then moving all the way back in. Willow sped her own motion up too, and suddenly she and Buffy were in perfect synch, their bodies moving together now...

Willow sped up, and Xander matched her speed, thrusting harder now, ramming himself into her.

“Kiss...kiss my neck,” Willow whispered.

Xander began kissing her neck. Willow wrapped her legs around him...

Buffy began kissing her neck. Willow wrapped her legs around Buffy, and slid her feet up and down Buffy’s thighs, enjoying the feel of Buffy’s soft, sleek skin beneath her toes, and the feel of the muscles bunched underneath it, long and thick and hard as steel, moving like pistons, flexing with every thrust.

“That’s it, baby,” Buffy whispered, and kissed her. “That’s it.”

“Ride ’em, cowgirl,” Xander whispered, and kissed her.

Willow smiled. “Are you...gonna...call me that forever now?” she murmured, between moans. “Is that...like... my new nickname?”

“Thinking about it,” Xander said.

Willow’s moans were building now, getting louder. Buffy moved herself up higher, so she could move against Willow’s clit. A shudder immediately went through Willow, and her legs began to tremble

Xander lifted Willow’s legs over his shoulders, and leaned forward as he rammed himself into her.

“Got you just how I want you now,” he whispered, and kissed her.

“That’s my baby,” Buffy whispered, and kissed her.

Willow felt her orgasm building...her arms began to shake. She felt like she was about to burst. She looked up into Xander’s eyes again.

“You gonna have another epileptic fit?” Xander whispered.

“It’s...not an epileptic fit,” Willow whispered, and brought him back down to her lips, and kissed him.

Willow looked up into Buffy’s eyes again, as Buffy kissed her and smiled down at her.

“Does my baby want to come for me?” Buffy whispered.

Willow nodded, and brought Buffy back down to her lips, and kissed her.

Willow was breathless, gasping and squealing with every thrust now. She felt hot, like she was about to explode...

Willow was screaming with every thrust now, quick breathless squeals; she felt hot, like she was about to explode, but she felt perfectly calm at the same time...serene. She thought she was approaching something, something that scared her, but something she wanted too.

“I’m...gonna...” Willow squealed.

“Me...me too...” Xander said. “Here’s hoping...you beat me.”

“I’m gonna...I’m...gonna...” Willow squealed.

“I know, baby,” Buffy said.

“I’m gonna...come...” Willow whispered, as her whole body trembled. Xander was shaking now, too. Willow knew he was almost there...

“I’m...I’m gonna...” Willow squealed again, as she felt her tears streaming down her cheeks, and a wave of warmth began flooding through her.

“Come for me, baby,” Xander whispered, and hugged her, and held her close, as he filled her up...

“Come for me, baby,” Buffy whispered, and hugged her, and held her close, as she filled her up...

Willow felt her eyes filling up with tears.

And then Willow felt herself overflowing.

She felt like she was letting something go, releasing something that she had been holding inside her whole life...

“Buffy...” Willow whispered, as she felt her orgasm explode through her...and her tears ran down her cheeks...

It felt like dropping a heavy weight...setting down a burden. She cried, and screamed, and wailed, and hugged Buffy as hard as she could, as she felt herself emptying out; as everything she had held inside for so long finally flowed out of her, and her whole body trembled. Willow didn’t know if she would ever stop trembling...

Xander came inside her a few seconds later; Willow barely noticed. He grunted, and his body went rigid on top of her, and she felt a shudder move through him. Then he went limp, and she heard his breathing in her ear; it came in quick shallow gasps.

He held her tight.

“Oh Goddess... ” Willow whispered, and turned her head away from Xander, and buried it in the burgundy throw pillow beside her.

Buffy held her tight.

“It’s okay, baby,” Buffy said. “I’m right here. From now on, I’m always right here, okay? Always. Always.”

“My Goddess...” Willow whispered, into the pillow, and cried.

Faith laid with Buffy on the bed, and held her in her arms. Buffy laid curled up in a little ball, resting her head on Faith’s bosom.

“Those pics are heavy,” Faith said. “They weigh a lot. They weigh so much, I think they’re crushing you.”

Buffy didn’t say anything. She ran her fingers over Faith’s knees.

“You didn’t try to kill yourself because you were ready to die,” Faith said. “You tried to kill yourself because you thought you deserved to die.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said.

“You didn’t deserve to die.”

“I did. I do. He lost his soul because of me. Those kids are dead because of me. Because a Slayer fell in love with a vampire. Because a Slayer fell down on the job. You were right before...in that alley, what you said to that vampire. It’s disgusting. I’m disgusting.” Buffy started to cry.

“What?” Faith said, and sat up.

“You were right to be disgusted by me,” Buffy said. “I’m...disgusting. I’m disgusting.”

“Listen to me!” Faith yelled, and took Buffy by the shoulders. “I’m not disgusted by you. I never was and I never in a million years could be.”

Tears filled Faith’s eyes.

“I love you, honey,” Faith said. “All I can ever do is love you. Why won’t you believe me?”

“I love you baby,” Buffy said, and kissed her. “I need you.”

“I’m right here,” Faith said, and hugged her. “Always gonna be right here. Right here loving you.”

Faith looked Buffy in the eyes.

“Now you listen to me,” Faith said. “That word? ‘Disgusting’? I don’t wanna ever hear you use it again. Got it? That’s not the way I feel about you, I could never feel that way about you. I mean it Buffy, I don’t want you to ever fucking say that to me again. I love you and you’re my whole world and I can never hear that from you again. You understand me?”

Buffy nodded. Faith kissed her.

“Honey,” Faith whispered, and held her close. “I love you. I love you. I love you. You’re my girl.”

Buffy nodded.

“I love you,” Faith whispered, as she held her. “I love you. I love you. Never gonna stop. Never, ever gonna stop. You’re my strong, brave, beautiful girl and I’ll love you as long as I live.”

“I don’t...I don’t feel strong,” Buffy whispered.

“You are,” Faith whispered. “You are. Do you believe me when I say I love you? Do you believe me honey?”

Buffy nodded.

“That’s my girl,” Faith said, and kissed her again.

“But I don’t...I don’t know why. I don’t know why you love me,” Buffy said. “Why you love me when I...”

“Because you’re strong,” Faith said. “Because you’re brave. Because you’re beautiful. Because you’re so beautiful. Because you’re mine.”

Buffy nodded, and smiled.

“You gotta move on from here, Buffy,” Faith said. “You and me are gonna have to start talkin’ this thing out. Okay?”

“So you’re a shrink now?” Buffy said. “Yeah Doctor Faith, so my Dad took off and my boyfriend killed lots of people and saving the world sucks. I always wanted a pony. Why can’t I have a frigging pony?”

“I’m serious, Buffy. It’s the one rule, the one thing I insist on. I love you unconditionally, but you need to let me in if we’re gonna be together. You understand me, beautiful? You shut me out on this and we’re done. I’ll always love you, Buffy, I can’t stop, I’m gonna love you forever. But I’ll walk out that door right now unless you promise you’ll let me be there for you on this.”

“I promise,” Buffy said.

“Okay,” Faith said, and took Buffy in her arms, and kissed her.

Buffy felt it crackling through her...

“How’d you know?” Buffy said. “How’d you know why I did it?”

“Been there,” Faith said. “That apartment in L.A., I figure it was a lot like my alley in Boston. When those vamps were after me I gave up. Sat there right where they tossed me, in that pile of garbage, waiting for them to finish me off. Figured I deserved it. Becca snapped me outta that shit, straightened me right the fuck out. She never, ever let me hate myself. She wouldn’t tolerate it. Kicked my ass whenever she saw me actin’ like that...like, actin’ like I thought I was dumb or whatever. Thing is? It had to be Becca. I couldn’t have done it myself, I needed help. You do too. Everyone needs help sometimes, honey. I needed help from Becca, now you need help from me. Even Becca needed help once.”

“Rebecca doesn’t sound like she ever needed help, not the way you and Will talk about her,” Buffy said, and smiled.

“Not when she was with me,” Faith said. “But she told me once that something real bad happened to her a long time ago, and someone got her out of it. Everyone needs help sometimes, honey. But the first thing, the hardest thing? Is admitting you need help and taking it. Letting someone who loves you take the weight for you. Becca loved me. I love you. You gonna let me help you, Buffy? Gonna let me be your Becca?”

“Yeah.”

Buffy moved off the bed, and knelt down in front of her. She touched Faith’s knees, and moved her hands under her skirt. She started to pull Faith’s panties down. Faith took her hands, and stopped her. She held Buffy’s hands, and kissed her.

“You love me?” Faith said.

“Yeah, baby,” Buffy said. “And I need you now.”

“I hear you sayin’ it,” Faith said. “Now mean it. Give me the pictures.”

“No, no, I...can’t,” Buffy said. “I need them.”

“THEY’RE FUCKING KILLING YOU!” Faith screamed.

Buffy looked down at the floor.

“When’s the last time you looked at them before just now?” Faith said.

“Last night,” Buffy said. “While you were asleep.”

“Time before that?”

“Couple nights before.”

“How often do you look at the pictures?”

“A few times a week maybe.”

“Buffy. You’re strong. When I said you’re the strongest person I ever met outside of Becca I wasn’t lyin’. But you need help now. And part of being strong is having the strength to let someone else be strong for you. To let me be strong for you. Not just me. Will and Xander and Giles and Joyce too. Ever since I came out here you’ve been the momma. You’ve been keeping me safe, protecting me, taking care of me. And I love you for it, honey. But now you gotta let me be the momma for awhile. Because that’s what love really is. It’s sharing the weight. Those pics weigh too much for you to carry alone. Let me carry them awhile. I won’t throw them away, okay? I’ll just hold onto them. If you need to look at them I’ll let you. But I’m not gonna tell you where I’m keeping them, and I want you to try not looking at them for awhile. Instead of looking at them I want you to talk to me about them instead. Can you do all that?”

Buffy looked up at her, and started to cry again.

“Buffy,” Faith said. “Do you love me enough to do all that for me?”

Buffy nodded.

“Okay,” Faith said, and kissed her. “Okay, beautiful. Okay.” Then she picked her up in her arms, and laid her down on the bed.

Faith sat beside her, and looked down at her, and kissed her hand.

“Honey...we’re gonna get through this,” Faith said, and held her hand tight. “What we have? You and me? It’s stronger than those pictures. It’s stronger than anything in the world.”

Buffy nodded.

“You and me, Buffy,” Faith said. “We’ll get through it together.”

“Okay,” Buffy said.

“I love you,” Faith said, and kissed her.

“I love you too,” Buffy said.

I’ll be right back,” Faith said. “Okay?”

Buffy nodded.

“You wanna get undressed for me?” Faith said. “Then when I come back we can maybe break some more stuff? Or hey, there’s always your old cheerleader outfit.”

“Okay,” Buffy said, and giggled.

“There it is,” Faith said. “Been lookin’ all over for that smile.”

Faith kissed her again, and hugged her.

“You keep me warm, Buffy,” Faith said. “I’m gonna keep you warm too.”

Buffy nodded, and held on tight to her, and leaned her head on her shoulder.

“When I come back up, I’m gonna show you how much I love you, beautiful,” Faith whispered in her ear. “I’m gonna show you exactly how much I love you. I’m gonna take good care of my girl.”

“I’m your girl,” Buffy whispered.

“Forever, Buffy,” Faith whispered back. “Forever.”

Faith kissed Buffy’s hand again, picked up the shoe box, and walked out of the room.