Twenty-One

SUNSET

Faith sat with Buffy on the floor, and held her, and kissed her hair.

She looked up at Giles.

“You leaving her too?” Faith said.

“Of course not,” Giles said. “I would never leave Buffy...I would never leave either of you. And Willow didn’t want Xander or me to know about this, and while I don’t think that was the right decision on her part, it was still her decision. There was nothing else you could have done.”

He crouched down beside Buffy, and took her hand.

“I’ll take them back to my house, and I’ll find a way to convince them to stay with me until this business is finished,” he said. “I’ll look after them, Buffy.”

“Thank you,” Buffy whispered, and hugged him.

“You’re welcome,” Giles said.

Angel watched them...watched the three of them together, sitting on the floor, and holding each other. They didn’t even seem aware of him anymore.

He knew he didn’t belong with them anymore. He wasn’t part of what they had...he knew he had no right to it anymore.

“I screwed it up, Giles,” Angel heard Buffy whisper. “I screwed it all up.”

“No,” Giles said. “You saved the world. You saved your friends. You protected us all, as best you could. No one could have done more, Buffy.”

“You believe it, honey,” Faith said, and kissed Buffy’s cheek. “You listen when your Watcher talks, okay?”

“I’m your Watcher too, Faith,” Giles said.

“Hey, I’m all ears, G-Man,” Faith said.

“I’ll call later, after they’re settled in and I’ve had a chance to talk to them,” Giles said. “Maybe...I can convince him to change his mind.”

“He won’t,” Buffy said. “I’ve lost him. Lost them both.”

“It’s not easy,” Giles said. “I wish I could make it easier for you. I wish I could take some of the burden on myself. But I can’t. So you need to hold on. You need to hold on and be strong, all right?”

“She’s got me,” Faith said. “She’ll always have me.”

“Good,” Giles said. “All right, I’ll call you once I have them settled in.” He stood up, and walked back to his room.

“Honey,” Faith said. “Come back to bed, okay? I don’t want you out here like this anymore. Let me take care of you.”

Buffy nodded, and let Faith stand her up. They walked back to their bedroom together, without even glancing at Angel.

Angel was alone in the hallway.

He let his senses reach out. He heard Giles packing his things. He heard the furnace making that grinding noise it sometimes made. He heard Faith whisper, “I love you.” He heard Buffy whisper back, “I love you so much, baby.”

He stood in the hallway, alone. He knew he wasn’t part of Buffy’s life, anymore. He knew he didn’t belong there. He knew he didn’t belong anywhere.

He knew he was nothing...

He was a reflection. All that he was, he knew, was the effect he’d had on other people. He didn’t exist, on his own...he had no identity other than what he created in the people around him. He was a reflection, and Buffy, Faith, Willow, Xander and Giles were his mirrors.

He saw chaos, when he looked at them; he saw destruction. He saw a pestilence.

Giles came out of the spare room wearing a coat and carrying his suitcase and his leather satchel. He stopped in front of Angel.

“I don’t forgive you,” Giles said. “I never will.”

“Yeah,” Angel said.

“But Buffy needs your help,” Giles said. “Will you help her?”

“She’s got Faith,” Angel said.

“Yes. But they’re young. They’ll need our help to come through this. Will you help? Will you keep Buffy safe while I’m gone? And Faith too?”

“Yeah,” Angel said.

Giles nodded, and walked down the stairs, and didn’t look back.

Angel was alone again.

He heard the front door open and close. A moment after that he heard Giles driving away.

He heard Buffy weeping in her bedroom. He heard Faith whisper, “Sshhh, honey. Sshhh. I love you. I love you. You’re my girl.”

He heard Buffy whisper, “I’m your girl.”

He walked down the stairs, and tried to center himself.

Darla’s scent came to him. Suddenly, she was walking beside him.

“Pathetic,” she said. “You’re better and more important than the lot of them put together. And you let them treat you this way. You let that...that ignorant child spit in your face.”

“You’re just gonna keep on bothering me, aren’t you?” Angel said, and kept walking. “What is it now? More speeches about how big and great and evil you are? Already said no to the deal. What else is there to talk about?”

“Maybe I just like being with you,” Darla said.

He didn’t look at her. At the bottom of the stairs she blocked his path.

“When you were with me, and happy?” she said. “You would have sliced that little fool to ribbons and strung him up like a side of beef. By the time you finally allowed him to die he would have been intimately acquainted with the look, smell, taste and texture of his own insides. Instead you stand there, enduring their abuse, wearing your fucking sackcloth, covering yourself in ashes.”

“You done?” Angel said, and walked through her, heading for the cellar.

“I’m just getting started, my angel,” Darla said, and disappeared.

Faith laid with Buffy on the bed, and held her in her arms.

“You’re my girl,” Faith said. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” Buffy said.

“I’ll always love you, Buffy,” Faith said. “I’ll never leave you. You understand that? That I’ll always stick with you, no matter what?”

Buffy nodded.

“It wasn’t your fault, honey,” Faith said. “It was no one’s fault. Will told us not to tell, because she knew what would happen.”

Buffy nodded. Faith kissed her forehead.

They were quiet, for awhile.

“I want you to take over,” Buffy said. “I can’t...I can’t do this anymore.”

“What?” Faith said. “What are you talking about?”

Buffy looked up at her, with tears in her eyes.

“I can’t do it, baby,” Buffy said. “I can’t, I can’t. I can’t...be the leader anymore, and have to make all the decisions, and...be strong all the time. I can’t.”

“Bullshit,” Faith said. “Of course you can do it. It’s what you do.”

“You said that, if...if I didn’t want to anymore, you’d step up. That you’d take the weight. Will you? Will you do this for me?”

Faith looked at her. She hesitated.

“Okay,” Faith said.

Buffy nodded, and curled up against Faith’s breasts.

“Make love to me, baby?” Buffy whispered. “I need you.”

“Okay,” Faith said.

“I love you,” Buffy whispered, an hour or so later, as they laid naked on the bed together, and Faith held her in her arms.

“I love you too,” Faith said, and kissed her. “My girl feelin’ better now?”

Buffy nodded, and managed a smile.

“You always take care of me,” Buffy said.

“That’s because you’re my girl, honey,” Faith said. “I always take good care of my girl.”

“So what’s the plan now, boss?” Buffy said.

“We look for Spike,” Faith said. “It’s still real early, I figure we can cover the whole town pretty good in Angel’s car.”

“Y’know, I never would have thought of that. I was all ready for us to just go out and like, walk everywhere.”

“We can cover more ground with a car. Anyway hopefully the thing won’t be a shitbox like Giles’ car.”

“Angel’s car is the coolest car ever. It’s all like, this big black super-fast convertible? Angel thinks he’s Burt Reynolds when he drives it,” Buffy said, and sat up. “You’re gonna love it.”

Faith sat up with her, and wrapped her arms around her in a bear hug.

“Aren’t we getting up?” Buffy said.

“Yup,” Faith said.

Buffy nodded, and tried to get up again. Faith didn’t let her go.

“Um, as much as I’m always horny for you, baby?” Buffy said. “You do want us to go looking for Spike, right?”

“Yup,” Faith said, and smiled.

“Well, I don’t think he’s hiding in this room? So we’re gonna need to get out of the bed to look for him.”

“Yup.”

Faith still wouldn’t let Buffy move.

“Um...” Buffy said. “You’re not letting me up.”

“Nope,” Faith said.

“So what are you doing exactly? Are you being horny? But you haven’t done any pervo stuff to me yet.”

“You’re in a Faith cage.”

“I’m in a Faith cage?”

“Yup.”

“What’s a Faith cage?”

“Faith cages are unbreakable,” Faith said, and kissed Buffy’s cheek, and held her tight. “You can’t escape from a Faith cage. You just gotta do your time, finish out your sentence.”

“What’s my sentence?” Buffy said.

“You have to believe things are gonna get better. I’m not letting you out of the cage until you believe that.”

Buffy caressed Faith’s hand.

“I think...I might be in this cage a long time,” Buffy said.

“We’re gonna get them back, Buffy,” Faith said.

“How do you know? You sound...really sure.”

“Something you’re forgetting. Xander’s forgetting too. Those wolf vamps want Willow. It’s got nothing to do with Willow being with us, they want her no matter where she is. She’s safe with Giles for now because the sun’s up. Once it gets dark? We’re gonna have to start watching her. Whether Xander likes it or not, he’s gonna have to deal with us until this thing is over. So yeah, you’ll be seeing Will and Xander again. You’ll be seeing them again tonight.”

“But after this thing is over they could just leave again.”

“You have to believe, honey. You have to believe things are gonna get better. You just...you just have to have faith.”

Buffy turned around in Faith’s arms, and smiled.

“Yeah,” Buffy said, and kissed her.

Angel laid on the cot in the cellar, looking up at the ceiling, and finishing a Rolling Rock. Xander hadn’t taken the case of Rolling Rock with him. So Angel stole one. For old time’s sake.

Faith’s scent came to him. Peaches. With a hint of muskiness.

A moment later she walked down the thin old wooden stairs. She was quiet, but the stairs still creaked a little.

“Hey,” she said.

“Hey,” he said, and looked at her. She was wearing the same red leather coat he’d seen her in when he first arrived at the house, and a wakizashi in a scabbard hooked to her belt.

She approached his cot. Empty beer bottles littered the floor all around it. Angel added the bottle of Rolling Rock to the pile.

“Little early for that, isn’t it?” Faith said.

“I can drink you under the table, Lehane,” Angel said, and went back to looking up at the ceiling.

“Not if we’re drinking champagne.”

Angel nearly smiled.

“So I hear,” Angel said. “No matter how much I block my ears.”

Faith raised her eyebrow.

“Shit,” she said, and sat down on the edge of his cot, and blushed, and smiled despite herself.

Angel got up, and sat next to her.

So how you doin’?” Faith said.

“Surviving,” Angel said. “You?”

“Hangin’ in. Lately it seems like every day’s throwin’ me a new curve. I’m still kind of like, acclimating, I guess. Figuring it out as I go.”

“Yeah. I know how you feel.”

“I was pissed at you last night. That’s why I said that stuff I said.”

Faith looked at him. His dark eyes looked black in the shadowy cellar.

“When I said I didn’t trust you, it felt like a cheap shot,” Faith said. “I’m not sayin’ like, I trust you a hundred percent? I mean, you did all that stuff. But... when I said it last night...I just said it ’cuz I was pissed off.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Angel said. “You don’t know me. Got no reason to trust me. Especially after what I did.”

“I was pissed that you said Will would be dead weight in a fight. Will’s strong. She can handle this. I didn’t like you being all like, she’s not important.”

“That’s not what I think. I know Willow can handle herself...handle the things we face. Just because she can’t throw a punch that doesn’t mean she isn’t strong. I misspoke before. I didn’t mean it like...like she should just stay home. I just meant, going up against Spike and maybe a bunch more vampires with him, Willow’s better off hanging back. I know she wouldn’t panic, I know she’d do her best to protect Buffy. But it’s not a good situation for her to be in.”

“Spike’s tough, isn’t he?”

“Yeah.”

“Tougher than you?”

“Only if you count his ability to annoy people as a power.”

“You and him, you’ve thrown down before?”

“Sure,” Angel said, and nearly smiled. “Good times.”

“So?” Faith said. “What happened?”

“Kicked his ass every time.”

“Every time? How many times did you guys fight?”

“Fought a lot. He’s a pain in the ass. British too.”

“You don’t like British people?”

“Irish thing. Long story. Some Brits are okay. Giles is okay.”

“Buffy said if it was you she was up against instead of Angelus last spring, you would’ve won.”

“It’ll never be me. I would never hurt Buffy...when I have my soul.”

“But when you don’t,” Faith said. “When you don’t...”

“If I lose my soul again, you have to kill me,” Angel said. “Don’t bother trying to re-ensoul me. The only reason that worked last time was I didn’t know Willow could do it. I killed Jenny Calendar because she was trying to re-ensoul me. If I had known then that Willow could do it I would’ve killed her too.”

“Not you,” Faith said. “Angelus.”

“Angelus isn’t a separate person. He’s me. If I lose my soul again the first thing I’ll do is try to stop Willow. You have to kill me before that happens.”

He looked at her again. His dark eyes hit her like two hammers.

She made herself look back.

“Promise me you will,” he said.

“Me? What about Buffy?” Faith said.

“She might hesitate. You won’t. Promise me if I ever lose my soul again, you’ll kill me. Willow, Buffy...they might want to try to re-ensoul me again. That’ll just buy me time to do more damage. You have to kill me.”

Faith looked away from him, and shook her head.

“My life is completely fucked in the head,” she said. “I’m hanging with a vampire. And our small talk? Are we talkin’ ball games? Are we talkin’ cars? Nope. We’re having a heart-to-heart about how you want me to solemnly swear to kill you sometime. Plus, I’m just gonna say it again? You’re a vampire.”

“Kinda ridiculous, huh?” Angel said.

“Yeah,” Faith said, and laid back on the cot, and looked up at the ceiling. “I remember when vampires were just like, these guys in movies. Like y’know, Freddy and Jason.”

“Who are Freddy and Jason? Are they vampires?”

“You’re old, dude,” Faith said, and grinned. “Freddy and Jason are these movie bad guys. Not vampires. Just kinda like...well I don’t know, mutant freak guys I guess. Point is they’re fake. Always thought vamps were fake too. Now I’m hanging out with one.”

“Life’s full of surprises,” Angel said. “Will you do it? If I lose my soul. Will you promise to kill me, no matter what Buffy or Willow say?”

“Yeah,” Faith said.

Angel looked out into the darkness. Faith looked up at the ceiling.

“You guys heading out after Spike?” Angel said.

“Yeah,” Faith said. “We need your car. It’ll be easier if we got wheels.”

“Uh...yeah...okay,” Angel said. “Can you drive stick?”

Faith raised her eyebrow.

“Pretty sure I remember how,” she said.

As Buffy buckled her scabbard on her belt and headed downstairs carrying a duffel bag, Angel was following Faith into the living room.

“You have to be careful when you downshift,” Angel was saying. “It’s kinda finicky downshifting.”

“Told me already,” Faith said.

“And remember not to ride the clutch.”

“Uh-huh.”

“It’s got maybe a quarter tank of gas? If you need to fill it you gotta get premium unleaded. Regular’s bad for the engine.”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you should give the engine a minute to warm up before--”

“I’m gonna stake you in a minute,” Faith said.

“Hey,” Buffy said, as she came into the living room. “We all set?”

“Our boy’s all nervous,” Faith said. “Thinks we’re gonna crash his ride.”

“Didn’t say you were gonna crash it,” Angel said. “It’s just...finicky. You have to treat it right.”

“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, GQ,” Faith said. “We’ll bring it back without a scratch. Uh...steering wheel’s not over on the right, is it?”

“No,” Angel said. “I hate that crap.”

“Then relax,” Faith said. “I’ll take good care of your wheels, promise.”

“Who said you were driving?” Buffy said.

“I did, girlfriend,” Faith said, and raised her eyebrow. “I’m the boss.”

“Shit.”

“You owe me after making me drive the Gilesmobile. You call him?”

“Yeah, he said he’ll ask Will to backtrack Spike’s number for us. And I told him to expect us tonight.”

“Cool,” Faith said, and turned to Angel. “Okay guy, me and Buffy will be back before sunset. We’ll call and check in during the day too. When we get home two of us have to head right back out to Giles’ place, so we can watch Will for the night. If maybe Xander’s calmed down a bit the other one can go with him to pick up some stuff from that military base. You good here ’til we get back?”

“Uh...well...it would be good if one of you...showed me how to work the VCR,” Angel mumbled.

“Is he pulling my leg?” Faith said, and glanced at Buffy.

“Nope,” Buffy said, and grabbed the VCR remote from the coffee table, and stood next to him, pointing out all the buttons. “Okay, look. This button here? Turns on the TV. If you wanna just watch TV these buttons change the channels up and down. If you wanna watch a tape, just put the tape in...um, you know how to put a tape in, right? You just like, slide it in?” Angel nodded. Buffy wasn’t sure if he really knew how to put a tape in or if he was just trying to hold onto some of his dignity, but she just kept going. “The VCR turns on when you put a tape in. All you gotta do is press this button here, it switches back and forth between the TV and the VCR, then press the play button here. These two buttons are fast forward and rewind...”

“What are fast forward and rewind?” Angel said.

“You’re losing coolness points by the second here, GQ,” Faith said.

“We didn’t have gadgets in the eighteenth century,” Angel said.

“So what did people do all day?”

“Read the Bible and drank. A war every once in awhile.”

“Don’t forget bangin’ the maid.”

Angel frowned at her, and went back to looking at the VCR remote.

“Fast forward speeds the movie up if you want to skip over a part,” Buffy said. “Rewind takes you backwards if you want to see a part again. This button here? Pause? It like, freezes the movie in case you need to take a break and you don’t wanna miss anything. Just press it again to make it start playing again.”

“Okay,” Angel said. “This is kinda complicated. It’s got a lot of buttons.”

“I’ll set up a movie for you,” Buffy said. “I got Titanic...”

“No,” Angel said, emphatically.

“Damn B, you tryin’ to neuter the guy? There’s some Clint Eastwood movies Xander left here,” Faith said. “Better not even try to tell me you don’t like Clint, Angel. Your coolness is hangin’ by a thread here as it is.”

“Who’s Clint Eastwood?” Angel said.

Faith sighed and shook her head, and went to the entertainment center and pulled down some videotapes. She looked them over, then pulled one from its box and inserted it into the VCR.

“The Outlaw Josey Wales,” Faith said. “You can start with my favorite.”

“What’s it about?” Angel said.

“Cowboy movie, awesome gun fights,” Faith said. “It’s about honor, and revenge. Doin’ right by your friends and never backin’ down. Plus sayin’ cool shit while you do it. And not for nothin, if you don’t like Clint? You’re gay.”

Buffy laughed. Angel frowned again.

“Well...that’s kinda harsh,” Angel said.

“Explains about me though,” Buffy said.

“You’re gonna like Clint eventually, girlfriend,” Faith said. “I’m chippin’ away, I’m gonna like, mold you. You’re gonna be my Eliza Doolittle.”

“Who?” Buffy said.

“Man, I’ve got so much work to do here,” Faith said, and shook her head again. “C’mon, my fair lady, I’ll explain in the car. While I’m driving.”

Willow and Xander sat on Giles’ couch, and Giles sat across from them in the squeaky recliner. They drank tea. There was a plate of dry, crumbly tea cookies on the coffee table, that no one had touched.

“Thanks again, Giles,” Xander said. “This really helps us out.”

Willow looked down at her tea cup, and didn’t say anything.

“Of course,” Giles said. “You’re always welcome to stay here. Is the room all right?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Xander said. “And it’s a big help. I didn’t really...uh... think this whole thing through when we left Buffy’s. Would’ve been a bummer having to sneak Will into my room in the basement of my parents’ place.”

“I’m sorry there isn’t a television,” Giles said. “There’s the television here in the parlor though. And my record player.”

“Trust me, this is a palace compared to my basement,” Xander said.

Giles watched Willow. She hadn’t looked at him, or Xander, since she arrived. She hadn’t talked either. She was still looking down at her tea cup.

“Is there anything you need, Willow?” Giles said. “Is the room okay?”

“I’m fine,” Willow muttered, without looking up. “Thank you, Giles.”

“House has internet access, so Will’s happy,” Xander said.

“Yeah,” Willow said. “I just lost two of my friends. Hey, let’s, y’know, have a big fucking party.”

Xander put his hand arm around her. Willow’s body was neither rigid nor yielding. She moved when he pulled her toward him. She stopped moving when he stopped moving her. She was like a rudderless boat, moving with the currents.

“Willow...” Giles said. “I know this situation is--”

“I’m sorry, Giles,” Willow said. “I’m not...I’m not angry with you. I’m just...it’s been a rough day.”

Usually, Willow’s voice was lighter than air and bright as sunshine; it would flit around a room like a bumblebee on a summer day, trailing laughter in its wake. Now her voice was leaden; it was grounded. It was low and flat and unvarying, as if it was missing something. As if something had gone out of it.

Giles picked up the plate of cookies, and held it out to her, and smiled that winsome smile he had, the one that showed off his dimples.

“Cookie?” he said.

“They’re all like, crumbly,” Willow said. “They’re like, these sad crumbly British cookies.”

She took one, and ate a bit of it.

“They don’t taste like anything either,” Willow said. “How come you get these? How come you don’t get like, Oreos? Oreos with double stuff.”

“These make people appreciate my tea more,” Giles said.

“You should get Oreos with double stuff.”

“I’ll get some. I think you two are going to be here for awhile.”

“It’s great of you to offer, but we don’t want to impose,” Xander said.

“Those vampires are still after me, Xander,” Willow said, looking at him for the first time. “Did you think they were just gonna stop because you decided to be mean to Buffy? If we’re not staying with Buffy and Faith we’re gonna have to stay here. We can’t go home, our parents would freak if those vampires showed up, they wouldn’t know what to do. They’d call the cops and then the cops would come and get killed too. We have to stay here until this thing is over.”

“Maybe now that we’re away from Buffy they won’t be looking for you anymore,” Xander said.

“It has nothing to do with Buffy,” Willow said. “You heard what the vampires said, they want me. If it wasn’t for Faith I’d be gone and you’d be dead. If it wasn’t for Faith I would’ve been dead in that alley two months ago.”

Xander’s face turned red.

“And don’t act like you don’t know it,” Willow said. “Yeah, I came with you, because I, I can’t lose you? But don’t you, don’t you act like...”

Tears streamed down Willow’s cheeks.

“Don’t you act like this is all Buffy’s fault,” Willow said. “She never like, forced us to help. Remember when we started out? She was always telling us to stay home, always telling us it was too dangerous. But we kept insisting on coming along. Because she was our friend. And now...and now...”

“She called, Willow,” Giles said.

“She did?” Willow said, and snapped her head up like a terrier on a scent, and wiped her tears away.

“What did she want?” Xander said.

“To make sure you two were all right,” Giles said.

“That’s it?”

“And to tell me what Angel found. Willow, would you mind tracing a phone number on your computer for me? It seems that Spike--”

“Fucking figures,” Xander muttered. “We’ve been gone what, like four hours and she’s already--”

“Buffy’s not asking, Xander,” Giles said. “I am.”

“What about Spike?” Willow said.

“Angel tracked down one of the vampires who delivered the Key,” Giles said. “The vampire never saw the man he’s working for, he only talked to him on the phone. He gave Angel the number. He said the man he works for is a vampire, and he has an English accent, and that he’s rumored to have killed two Slayers in his time.”

“Spike,” Willow said.

“Well, we have no direct proof, but he’s the only person we know of who fits the bill,” Giles said. “Supposedly he got hold of the Key and set up the deal to sell it to those priests; the vampires delivering it were his flunkies.”

“Yup, that sounds like Spike. He’s always looking for a way to make some money.”

“And hopefully he can shed some light on the Vigil of Saint Vigeous.”

“Plus Buffy has the Key. If he comes after it...Giles, we need to find Spike before he finds us.”

“Just what Buffy and I were thinking. Buffy and Faith are looking for Spike now. Can you trace the number?”

“Not with that old dinosaur of a computer you have,” Willow said, and smiled for the first time, and leaped off the couch. “But my handy-dandy laptop can. I’m gonna have to unplug your computer and steal your internet connection for awhile. Aren’t you happy I made you get a T1 line now?”

“Yes, Willow, I just want to dance for joy,” Giles said. “It’s marvelous, having a whole world of ridiculous twaddle at my fingertips.”

“Okay, wait a minute,” Xander said, and stood up. “Just...slow down, okay? Will, I thought...I thought we decided we were done with this stuff?”

“I didn’t decide anything,” Willow said. “You decided, remember? You didn’t let me be part of the decision. It was either come with you or you were gonna dump me.”

“Will...” Xander said, and put his arms around her waist. “I just...don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Are you worried I’ll get carpal tunnel syndrome?” Willow said. She kept her arms straight down at her sides. Her posture was stiff. “’Cuz other than that I don’t see how typing on my laptop’s gonna hurt me.”

“You know what I mean,” Xander said.

“I’m doing this,” Willow said, and pulled away from him. “Giles, what’s that number?”

“God damn, this thing’s a blast to drive!” Faith said, as she whizzed down Sunnydale’s back roads in Angel’s car at extremely unsafe speeds. She had the top down and her arm around Buffy and a big smile on her face. Buffy had taken her shoes off, and she was hanging her feet out the window and wiggling her hips to the music coming from the hip hop station.

“Yup, Angel knows cars,” Buffy said. “And like, I don’t know cars? But this one is big and black and shiny and fast and it’s a convertible.”

“And you look real good in it,” Faith said. “C’mere and gimme a kiss.”

Buffy kissed her, and rested her head in Faith’s lap.

“You’re my pretty girl, huh honey?” Faith said. Buffy smiled, and nodded.

“So when am I gonna get to drive, boss?” Buffy said, and ran her fingers up and down Faith’s knees.

“When you pry the keys from my cold, dead fingers,” Faith said. “Guy owns a car like this can’t be all bad.”

“Is he still gay if he doesn’t like Clint?”

“Hell yeah. This car makes up for a lot of sins but any guy who doesn’t like Clint just ain’t a guy. So where we headed next, beautiful?”

“How come you always call me beautiful?”

Faith looked down at her. “This a trick question?”

“No, seriously. You always call me beautiful and...I don’t know, I’m just wondering why.”

“Because you’re the most beautiful woman in the world, Buffy,” Faith said, and took Buffy’s hand, and kissed it.

“You...really think that?” Buffy said. “Seriously?”

“I got a philosophy. Wanna hear it?”

“Um, okay.”

Faith looked down at Buffy, and Buffy stared up into her eyes. The sun was bright in the sky, and Faith’s eyes reflected it back at her...Faith’s eyes were golden in the sunlight.

“Becca’s always right,” Faith said.

Buffy smiled.

“Yeah?” Buffy said. “Well it’s easy to remember.”

“And it’s true, too,” Faith said. “And Becca, one of the big things about her was, she never talked just to talk. She said something, she meant it, you took it to the bank, y’know? She never blew smoke. So I don’t either. I don’t talk just to talk. I mean the things I say. And when I say you’re the most beautiful woman in the world? I mean it, Buffy. I mean it.”

“I love you,” Buffy whispered.

“I love you too, beautiful,” Faith whispered back, and leaned her head down, and gently kissed her.

Buffy curled up in Faith’s lap, and hugged her.

“How you doin’ honey?” Faith said. “You doin’ okay?”

“I’m with my baby,” Buffy said. “I’m okay.”

“Just gotta have faith,” Faith said. “We’re gonna see Will tonight. We’ll talk to Xander too, find out if maybe he’s calmed down some. But even if he won’t budge? Remember what I said, Buffy. Willow’s not gonna let him run her whole life. She’s too strong for that. We’re gonna get her back. Okay, beautiful?”

“Okay. You should have worn a skirt.”

“So you could be a bad girl and distract me?” Faith said, and raised her eyebrow. “Sorry hon, I’m the boss. Boss says we’re working right now.”

“You’re such a mean boss,” Buffy said, and kissed Faith over her jeans, in between her legs. “You won’t let me have any fun.”

“I think someone’s looking for a spanking,” Faith said. “So where next?”

“We tried Spike’s old crypts, plus the factory he was hiding out at last time he and Dru were here. We’ll hit Willy’s place next, see if anyone’s heard anything. They do this potato and egg sandwich that Spike really likes? He went there for lunch sometimes. Willy’s got a sewer access that all the vamps use.”

“Potato and egg sandwiches? Guy’s a vamp. What’s he want food for?”

“He’s a weird vamp. He likes food, he likes beer, he likes music. He likes parties, hanging out with people.”

“He sure won’t like hanging out with me once this boot goes up his ass.”

“I’m gonna drive on the way back from the bar,” Buffy said. “I’m so gonna drive.”

Faith raised her eyebrow again.

“Them’s fightin’ words, pardner,” Faith said.

She leaned down and kissed Buffy again, and sped up; the car shot down the road, and the wind whipped their hair around. Buffy stretched her legs and hung her feet out the window again, and turned up the volume on the radio.

And they moved their hips to the music, and snapped their fingers, and sang together, and laughed together...as the sun shined down above them, and the world rushed by all around them, and they raced toward what awaited them...

“We got somethin’ in this territory called the Missourah boat ride,” Angel said, with a big grin on his face.

Angel hadn’t seen a Western since the time he had watched a John Wayne marathon on an old black and white television set in a woman named Shelly Baker’s kitchen in Nevada in 1961, and he hadn’t realized how much fun they could be. He’d dismissed the John Wayne movies then as naive, simplistic morality plays with two-dimensional characters moving about in a child’s idea of the world. But this movie was different. Angel thought Josey Wales was a cowboy he could get behind.

There had been a dangerous moment when he’d tried to pause the movie so he could get a glass of blood, and he had hit the wrong button and suddenly Telemundo had come on. It had been touch and go for a few seconds after that, but he managed to get the movie back. He’d had to start over from the beginning, as he’d apparently rewound the movie by mistake somehow, but he didn’t mind because he had only been ten minutes into it and it had a hell of a good beginning and it was fun watching it again. And it gave him a chance to grab himself a tall, frosty glass of blood and some beers. He was settled in on the couch now, and he had his blood and his beer, and the sound of gunfire was music to his ears.

A scent came to him. It smelled like spices...

It was coming closer. He heard footsteps, moving through the front yard.

“You a bounty hunter?” Josey Wales said, standing tall as a redwood in a shadowy corner of the saloon. His voice was a low, raspy rumble, like distant thunder on the plains.

“A man’s gotta do somethin’ for a livin' these days,” the little weasel of a bounty hunter replied, as Josey’s cobra stare nailed him in place.

The footsteps had reached the porch now.

Angel knew this was going to be one of the really good parts...

“Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy,” Josey said.

The doorbell rang.

Angel tried to pause the movie. The screen suddenly turned black, and the word “input” was displayed in the upper right corner.

“Balls,” Angel muttered, and got up and answered the door.

When he opened the door, peeking out from behind it so the sun couldn’t reach him, a girl he had never seen before was standing on the porch.

“Oh...uh...hi,” the girl said.

“Hello,” Angel said.

The girl flinched a little, when Angel looked into her eyes.

“Can I...help you?” Angel said.

“Um...yeah um...” the girl said, looking down at the porch. “Sorry, um...I was looking for...the S-Summers house? I mean...Buffy Summers.”

“This is Buffy’s house,” Angel said. “She’s not here right now, but...uh... are you a friend of hers?”

The girl looked up, and smiled. She had wide, full lips, and a beautiful smile. But she looked away again, the second Angel looked into her big blue eyes.

She ran her hand through her long blonde hair, and fingered the pendant she wore on a silver chain around her neck. The pendant was a perfect white sphere; it looked like a crystal. It shimmered in the sunlight.

“Well...no, but...” she said. “But I was w-wondering if she’s seen...”

The girl reminded Angel of a butterfly. She was a rare, beautiful, fragile thing, but if you made any sudden movements, she might fly away...

The girl’s scent was wonderful; exotic, spicy...like ginger.

“I was wondering if she’s s-seen Faith,” the girl said. “Faith Lehane? She’s a friend of mine and...I know Buffy knows her? And...um...I’ve been trying to reach Faith but sh-she’s not around? Um...do you know Faith?”

“Yeah,” Angel said. “She’s been staying here. She’s out with Buffy right now. They should be back by four or so.”

“Oh,” the girl said, and looked down at the porch again, and blushed. “Okay. S-sorry to bother you. Can you just...m-m-maybe tell Faith I stopped by?”

“Might be kinda hard,” Angel said, and smiled. “Since I don’t know your name.”

The girl giggled.

“Um...yeah, I’m kinda like a spaz sometimes?” she said. “Sorry. I’m Tara. But you can just like call me Spaz Girl if you want.”

“Tara’s prettier,” Angel said. “I’m...”

A car came up the street, still a couple of blocks away but headed in their direction, and driving slow. It had blacked-out windows.

Angel let his senses reach out...

“You’re...? Hey!” Tara said, as Angel grabbed her arm, yanked her into the house and slammed the door.

Angel put his finger to his lips, and dragged Tara away from the door. He marched her into the living room, and shielded her body with his, as he craned his neck to peek through the curtained window while trying to avoid the sunlight. The car had passed the house now, and it was speeding away up the street.

“W-w-what are you doing?!” Tara shouted. “Let go of me!”

Angel opened both of the living room windows just a crack, so he could catch any scents if vampires came near the house again. He held onto Tara as he did; he couldn’t risk her leaving now.

“Let go of me!” Tara shouted again. “Let go!”

She was afraid; he smelled it. He let go of her arm.

Her face was red. Her breathing was fast, and her hands shook a little.

“W-what are you...like s-some kind of psycho or something?” she said. “Because...because I’m friends with Faith, and she can...she’s really strong and she can kick your ass if you...if you try to...”

“I’m sorry I scared you,” Angel said. “But you were followed here.”

“What? Followed?”

“Uh...you wanna sit down? You want like, something to drink?”

“What do you mean I was followed? Who’s following me? Why did you drag me in here? Where’s Faith?”

Angel considered his options. The problem was, he didn’t know exactly how much Tara knew...if she was Faith’s friend, Faith might have told her she was a Slayer...or she might not. Angel didn’t know Faith very well yet but one thing he did know, one thing he had sensed about Faith right from the start, was that she didn’t have many friends...and he didn’t want to cost her this one.

“You’re right about Faith being strong,” Angel said. “Did she tell you why she’s strong? Do you know about this town, and what goes on here? About the things that come out after dark?”

“I know about vampires if that’s what you mean,” Tara said. “And just so you know? Faith kicks vampires’ asses. So...so sh-she can sure as hell kick yours if you try to hurt me.”

“I’m not gonna hurt you. I just needed to make sure you knew what the score is here before I tell you what’s going on. You were followed by a car with blacked-out windows, I saw it up the street driving slow when we were talking at the door. A car with blacked-out windows means vampires.”

“Why...would vampires follow me?” Tara said, looking at the windows.

“They might have just been watching the house,” Angel said. “Faith and Buffy are Slayers. They don’t just kick vampires’ asses, they save the world too. Right now the world is in trouble. There’s a new group of vampires in town, there are hundreds of them and they’re stronger than the regular variety. They’re trying to end the world and Buffy and Faith took something from them, a magic Key they were gonna use, to stop them from doing it. The vampires want it back. I think they’ll move against us soon. That’s why I’m here. I’m helping Buffy and Faith. My name’s Angel. I’m sorry I scared you. But I need you to stay here until Buffy and Faith get back. If you go out there those vampires might hurt you.”

“Angel,” Tara said. “Nice name.”

Tara looked up into his eyes, without flinching this time. Her face was still red, and her hands were still shaking, and Angel knew she was still scared, and trying to hide it. He knew it took an effort for Tara to meet his eyes.

“Do you want something to drink?” Angel said.

Tara looked around the room for the first time. She noticed Angel’s glass of blood on the coffee table, and two bottles of beer. She noticed the TV set, with the word “input” on the screen. She noticed the Clint Eastwood videotapes on the coffee table; the box for The Outlaw Josey Wales was on top of the pile.

“Clint Eastwood,” Tara said.

“Yeah,” Angel said. “I’m watching one of his movies right now. Uh, well I’m trying to. I don’t, uh, know how to work the VCR too well.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Tara set her shoulder bag down on the coffee table, and picked up The Outlaw Josey Wales. “Box is empty. Are you watching this one now?”

“Yeah. Faith said I’d like it.” There were some interesting smells coming from Tara’s shoulder bag; it smelled like a bunch of different herbs intermingling together. Angel recognized them. Separately, they were innocuous; cooking herbs. Together, they were magic ingredients. He focused in on the pendant Tara wore around her neck again. It was warmer than the temperature of the room.

“It’s her favorite,” Tara said. You like it?”

“Yeah,” Angel said.

“You don’t know how to work the VCR. Seriously?”

“Yeah. I was in the middle of the movie when you rang the bell. I tried to pause it, but, uh...it sorta got away from me. And it was at a really good part too.”

“What part?”

“Clint was facing down a bounty hunter guy.”

“Dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy?”

Angel smiled. “Yeah. You’ve seen it?”

“Faith made me watch all Clint Eastwood’s movies with her. She would always like, do her Clint impressions while the movies were going? She’s kinda like a big goof. So you’re sure you’re not like some Hannibal Lecter guy who’s gonna eat my skin or something gross like that, right?”

“No idea who that is? But no.”

“Just checking. What are you drinking? What’s this red stuff? Daiquiri?”

“No. Uh...you probably wouldn’t like it.”

“How about you grab me like a Diet Coke and I’ll fix the VCR.”

“When I come back will you still be here?” Angel said.

“Maybe,” Tara said. “Maybe not. Only one way to find out.”

Angel had been reading people for more than two centuries. He thought he was a good judge of character. He knew he needed to make a decision now.

He could force Tara to stay until Buffy and Faith came back, but he didn’t want to do that. Or he could trust her not to run, but if she did he wouldn’t be able to chase her in the sun; Buffy and Faith had his car and Giles’ car was gone too. If she ran she could die and he wouldn’t be able to prevent it...

He made a decision.

“Tara,” Angel said. “If you run out that door, those vampires might find you and kill you. And I won’t be able to help you if you run...I won’t be able to follow you out there. I can only protect you in the house. And if you run out there, and get kidnapped, or killed? Faith will kick my ass. Worse than that, she’ll lose a friend. And she doesn’t have that many.”

“Why can you only protect me in the house?” Tara said.

“Because the sun’s out,” Angel said. “And I’m a vampire.”

Xander leaned in the doorway of Giles’ study, and watched Willow.

The study was crammed full of books and papers and candles and crystals and various magic trinkets that Xander didn’t recognize. The room smelled like incense, and it was dark; the only light came from a desk lamp. The lamp was solid silver carved in the shape of a gryphon and it looked right at home.

Xander thought all the room needed was a gypsy looking down into a crystal ball. Instead it had Willow, sitting at Giles’ desk and looking down into her laptop. She was sipping tea, and frowning.

Willow could shut out the world; Xander could tell she didn’t know he was there. She licked her lips, the way she always did when she concentrated. She stared down at her laptop as if she was trying to bore a hole through it. Her forehead had that little wrinkle it sometimes got between her eyebrows.

“How’s it going, cowgirl?” Xander said.

“Bad,” Willow said, without looking up. “The number’s a cell phone.”

“So?”

“Can’t trace a cell phone. I can only trace landlines. I can backtrack a cell number, tell you who the account belongs to, but I can’t locate the phone itself.”

“Maybe the account will help? Give us an address?”

“Spike doesn’t have addresses. The account belongs to a girl who died a month ago. Spike must’ve killed her and took the phone.”

Xander walked into the dark little room, and stood behind Willow. He rested his hands on her shoulders, and started massaging them. She stiffened at his touch. Her shoulders were rigid as a plank of wood.

“So now what?” Xander said.

“I don’t know,” Willow said. “Isn’t that your call? You make all the decisions for us, right? So, y’know, you tell me.”

“I don’t make all the decisions for us,” Xander said.

“Sure,” Willow said, and took his hands off her shoulders, closed her laptop, picked up her cup of tea, and walked away from him.

She sat on the couch, and looked down at the floor. She fidgeted with her hair, twisting it into little loops.

“Why am I getting the feeling you’re a little miffed at me?” Xander said.

“A little miffed?” Willow said. She looked up at him. “You think that’s what I am? You think I’m a little miffed?”

“So let’s talk. We’ve been here all day and we haven’t said a word to each other. I’ve been watching PBS for God’s sake. I’ve been eating those tea cookies. The most fun I’ve had is building a new bookcase for Giles.”

“You built a bookcase? Since when can you build a bookcase?”

“You know that carpentry elective I’m taking? I guess I’m getting kinda good at it. Giles bought all the pre-cut wood and the tools and stuff for the bookcase awhile ago but he didn’t know how to put it all together. It’s easy.”

“That’s...really cool,” Willow said, and smiled a little. “You like it? You like doing carpentry?”

“Yeah. I think that’s what I’m gonna do after high school. I don’t think I’m gonna go to college. I’m gonna be a carpenter. That cool with you? You can handle being with a guy who’s not all down with the book learnin’?”

Willow suddenly stopped smiling.

“I don’t know,” Willow said. “Carpentry can be dangerous, right? I mean, you use like, saws, and drills and stuff. You could hurt yourself. Cut off a finger.”

“Uh...I’ll be careful,” Xander said.

“Maybe I should tell you never to do carpentry again. Maybe I should tell you that if you ever do it again then you and I are finished.”

Xander sat down beside her, and took her hand.

She wasn’t looking at him. He held her hand, but she wasn’t holding his. Her hand, her whole body, was rigid, but languid at the same time; lifeless. She sat with him, but she wasn’t there.

“Not like I’m gonna have to use my carpentry skills to fight monsters and save the world, Will,” Xander said. “Uh...okay, I guess maybe someone could ask me to build an ark? But I’m not so good at measuring in cubits. The metric system’s confusing enough. Bottom line is, Buffy isn’t gonna be asking me to--”

“This isn’t about Buffy,” Willow said. She looked at him. She looked right into his eyes. “So stop pretending it is.”

“Hey, guys,” Buffy said, as she strolled into the Alibi Room with Faith.

Every head turned. Buffy took in the room: there wasn’t much of a crowd yet. Three demons sat at the bar, and two vampires, a male and a female, played pool in the back. The place still looked like a cave. Questionable stains still covered the floor. The jukebox was still smashed in from the last time she had visited. Willy was behind the bar.

His hand was bandaged. Buffy smiled at him, and showed him her teeth.

“Hey, Willy,” she said. “Miss me?”

Faith closed the door, leaned against it, and gave the crowd a quick once-over. She’d never seen a demon before, but they didn’t worry her. These demons were bigger and meaner-looking than vampires but their scents told her they were scared. More than that, they were prey. Faith sensed it, she felt it in her stomach, in her bones; their presence raised her hackles. She wanted to wade into all three of them right then, tearing through their flesh with her fingernails and feeling their bones shattering beneath her fists, smelling their blood, laughing and killing and reveling in it; reveling in her power. But she controlled herself.

Killing the demons would have been good. But watching Buffy kill them would be even better. So Faith stood by the door, and watched.

“That’s my girlfriend, Faith,” Buffy said, and smiled back at her. “She’s a Slayer too. She’s just gonna watch for now. She’s kinda like, auditing the class.”

“What the hell do you want, kid?” Willy said. “You just get off on comin’ in here and bothering my customers?”

“B,” Faith said, and motioned her head toward the back. Buffy nodded. She felt the male vampire approaching her before she turned and saw him.

“Willy,” Buffy said. “Why, why are you so stupid? I don’t get off on bothering your customers.”

The male vampire swaggered up to Buffy. He was big and barrel-chested, with long, silver-white hair and blue eyes that were so wide-set they made him look nearly reptilian. He sneered, revealing his long, canine teeth.

“Well, well, well,” he said, in one of those big, bellowing, fake-sounding voices that radio announcers have. “If it isn’t the Slay--”

Buffy drew her sword and sliced his head off in one seamless motion that was too quick to be seen, and pulled up a seat at the bar.

“I do kinda like killing them though,” Buffy said, and sheathed it again.

“You’re like a kid with a new toy with that damn thing,” Willy said, as he frowned at the cloud of dust that had left a twenty dollar bar tab in its wake. “Don’t be jealous, Willy,” Buffy said, and frowned at the demon sitting a couple of stools away from her.

“You look like Mothra,” Buffy said to the demon, who looked like a fat turtle. He even had some sort of armor plating on his back that looked like a shell.

“Gamera,” Faith said. “Gamera was the turtle-looking dude.”

“Gamera, right, my bad,” Buffy said.

“Uh...I’m Brad,” the demon said, and held out his hand, which was more like a clawed tentacle.

“Buffy, Slayer,” Buffy said, and shook his hand. “So I’m gonna kill everyone in here, including you, unless someone tells me where Spike is.”

“Uh...actually the three of us just got in from Boise,” Brad said. “Who’s Spike?”

“Hold that thought, Brad,” Buffy said, and looked toward the pool table in the back. The female vampire was still there, watching her, and growling.

“Gonna make a move, honey?” Buffy said. “Why don’t you come over here and buy me a drink.”

“You fucking bitch,” the vampire snarled, and stalked toward her. “You think I’m afraid of you?”

“Yup,” Buffy said. She turned around on her stool, and leaned back with her elbows on the bar, and showed the vampire her teeth.

The vampire stood in front of her now, baring her fangs. She was wearing too much eyeliner, badly applied, along with black eyeshadow, black lipstick, and a lot of powder on her face, and her long, unkempt hair was dyed jet black to go with it. Her eyes were bloodshot and her cheeks were puffy. She looked like a mime who had just lost a bar fight. She had a big gold hoop nose ring that hung down to her lips and looked like it might interfere with biting people, but Buffy knew the girl wouldn’t have to worry about that for much longer.

“Well I’m not!” the vampire screeched, and slashed at her with her claws.

“Okay,” Buffy said, as she grabbed the vampire’s arm, spun her around and twisted the arm up behind her back. She grabbed the vampire by the hair with her other hand and smashed her face into the bar. The vampire screamed.

“Now are you afraid of me?” Buffy said.

“Fuck...you, bitch!” the vampire muttered into the bar, as Buffy held her in place, completely immobilized.

“I bet the vampire girls are a lot nicer in Boise, huh guys?” Buffy said. The vampire thrashed around, trying to get up. Buffy put more pressure on her wrist. The vampire screamed again.

“Actually they’re all pretty much like that,” Brad said. “We don’t see a lot of nose rings in Idaho though.”

Buffy reached around and yanked the ring out of the vampire’s nose, and looked at it. The vampire screamed again as blood spurted from the hole.

“Jesus, all over the bar,” Willy said.

“Shut up, Willy,” Buffy said. She shook her head at the nose ring, and tossed it away. “Not even real.”

“You fucking bitch!” the vampire screamed.

“What was that?” Buffy said, and grabbed the vampire by the hair again with her other hand and smashed her face into the bar, sending a tremor through it that caused all the demons’ drinks to spill. “Whoa!” one of the demons said.

“Bitch!” the vampire screamed again, but her voice was shaky now.

“Still not hearing you,” Buffy said, and smashed the vampire’s face into the bar again. Someone’s glass fell to the floor and smashed into pieces. Buffy heard the vampire’s nose break. One of the demons chuckled.

“Anything else you wanna say?” Buffy said. “Or do I get to talk now?”

The vampire whimpered underneath Buffy’s hand, but she didn’t say anything else, and she stopped struggling.

Buffy stood up, pulled the vampire up by her hair and flung her to the floor. The vampire was on her knees in front of her. Buffy still held her wrist up over her head in a wrist lock, and she held her hair in her hand like a leash.

The vampire’s face was covered with blood, and she had tears in her eyes. She tried slashing at Buffy again with her free hand. Buffy avoided it, and kneed her in the nose. The vampire screamed again, and more blood spurted from it.

The vampire looked dazed now. She swayed in front of Buffy, on her knees, and looked at the floor. Buffy sat back down on the bar stool.

“You all done with your little tantrum, honey?” Buffy said, softly, as she held the vampire by her hair. “I think you’re all done.”

Faith watched Buffy; she watched her from her head down to her toes. Faith couldn’t take her eyes off her.

Buffy released the vampire’s arm, and drew her sword again. The vampire whimpered, when she saw it. Buffy gently tapped it against the top of the vampire’s head.

Buffy looked at Faith. She didn’t smile; she just looked at her, as she held the vampire down on her knees by the hair, and tapped her head with her sword.

Faith felt herself getting wet.

After a few seconds, Faith blinked. Buffy looked back at the vampire.

“Name?” Buffy said.

“Raven,” the vampire whispered.

“‘Raven’? You read Anne Rice, don’t you?”

One of the demons chuckled again. Buffy glanced at him. He was a fat, diseased-looking blob in a heavy brown overcoat and his gray, mottled skin hung from his face and his hands in strips.

“Laugh it up,” Buffy said. “You’re next.”

The demon stopped chuckling.

“Sorry,” the demon to his left said. This one had bright red skin with short spikes extending from it like a porcupine, and he wore a Dodgers baseball cap. “We, uh, don’t want any trouble.” Over by the door, Faith snorted.

Buffy looked back down at Raven. She still held her by the hair. Raven was prostrate before her, looking down at the floor.

“I’m Buffy,” Buffy said. “Have you seen Spike around? I bet you have. All the vamps around here know each other. Plus you’re like, totally his type.”

“Don’t...know any Spike,” Raven whispered.

“You’re not a very good liar, Raven. Even if you haven’t seen him you’d at least know who he is, all the vamps in Sunnydale know who Spike is. He’s like a celebrity to you people. Killed two Slayers, right? Gets him a lot of free drinks in places like this. Now you’ve got me thinking that you’ve definitely seen him.”

Raven shook her head.

“I’ll ask just once more,” Buffy said. “Then I’m gonna start hurting you. No quick staking. Nope, I got my sword right here, so I’m gonna slice and dice you for awhile first. I think you’ve seen Spike. So where the fuck is he?”

“I was with him...last week...we...were at this bar, biker place,” Raven squealed. Her broken nose made her voice sound muffled. “It’s called the Whiskey Creek Saloon. Other than that I haven’t seen him, I swear, I swear.”

“You and him a couple?”

“No.”

“You try?”

“Yeah. He just...kept talking about this other girl. Someone named Drusilla. He was looking for her. Said...he was sure she’s coming here.”

“That’s it?” Buffy said.

“Yeah,” Raven said, and tears ran down her cheeks.

Buffy watched her.

“You haven’t been a vampire long, have you?” Buffy said.

Raven shook her head.

“Just...a few months,” Raven whispered.

“How did it happen?” Buffy said.

“I was a cocktail waitress at a club in San Francisco. There was...there was this big ugly guy, he...he came out of nowhere and jumped me after my shift ended. He was a vampire. He beat me up, and then he drained me and turned me. I woke up at his place. He kept me there, and kicked the shit out of me all the time and fucked me. I think he just...he just turned me because he wanted a girl to beat on and fuck. I eventually got away and came here.”

Buffy let go of Raven’s hair. She took Raven’s hand.

“What’s your real name?” Buffy said.

“Andrea,” the vampire said.

“Pretty name. Why did you change it?”

“I don’t know,” Andrea whispered.

“What you are now?” Buffy said, softly. “You didn’t choose it. It’s something that was done to you. You’ve got the memories of your life, but you’re dead. You died when that vampire attacked you, and your soul went to a better place. But part of you got left behind. Close your eyes, Andrea. When you open them again, I promise you’ll be happier. You’ll be in that better place. Okay?”

Trembling, Andrea closed her eyes.

Buffy beheaded her, and she turned to dust.

The bar was quiet.

Buffy got up, and dusted herself off.

“Spike hasn’t been in here, not since he left town last time,” Willy said.

“Hope not, for your sake,” Buffy said. She looked at Faith. She saw a look in Faith’s eyes that she recognized. She knew Faith’s eyes by heart, and she knew what they were telling her now.

“Guess you guys get a pass this week,” Buffy said to the demons at the bar. “Anyone sees Spike? Tell him I’m gonna stick my sword up his ass.”

She walked back to Faith, and took her hand, and they walked out the door. The sun was bright, and the day was warm.

“I felt bad for that girl,” Faith said, as they walked back to the car.

“Yeah,” Buffy said. “Most vampires are just like, interchangeable assholes? But sometimes...sometimes you run into one...”

“Like Angel?”

“Or Spike, even. He loves Drusilla. Vamps are the bad guys but they’re still people too. They have feelings. Makes our job harder sometimes. But even with vamps like Andrea, you have to remember that they don’t have their souls anymore...that the people they used to be are gone, dead. Killing them is putting them out of their misery.”

“What about those pansy-ass demons? How come you didn’t kill ’em?”

“They didn’t know who Spike was. And the thing is, most of Willy’s customers are demons. He gets some vamps in there but it’s mostly a demon bar, and his customers are my main source of info whenever some new badness comes to town. If I killed them all, no more info.”

Faith nodded. They reached the car. Faith took the keys out of her pocket.

Buffy took Faith in her arms, and slowly leaned her back on the hood of the car.

“I’m driving,” Buffy said. “Give me the keys.”

Faith grinned. Buffy moved closer to her. Their lips were touching.

“You gonna wrestle me for ’em?” Faith whispered.

Buffy shook her head, and moved her mouth to Faith’s ear.

“Kitty-cat,” Buffy whispered. “Give me the keys.”

Faith gave Buffy the car keys, and moaned, as Buffy kissed her...

When Buffy finally let her up, Faith was blushing.

They got in the car. Buffy got in the driver’s side.

“So, uh...I guess we’re headed to that Whiskey Creek Saloon?” Faith said.

“Eventually,” Buffy whispered, and kissed her again.

“You’re a vampire. Okay, I get it, ha-ha, very funny,” Tara said. “Sure, scare the new girl.”

“I’m not lying,” Angel said.

Tara’s face became pale.

“But I’m not gonna hurt you, Tara,” Angel said. “I’m gonna protect you.”

Tara was trembling now. Angel knew she wanted to run. She couldn’t possibly reach the door before he grabbed her, but he didn’t want to do that.

He sat down on the couch. Tara relaxed, just a little bit.

“You’re...a vampire...but...you’re not gonna hurt me?” Tara said. “But... Faith s-s-said vampires are...th-they hurt people, they...kill people.”

“I don’t. Long story. Short version is, I have a soul. I’m the only vampire who does. Look...I know this must all seem...strange. Why don’t you sit down.”

“Strange? You practically kidnap me and then you tell me you’re a freaking vampire and I’m supposed to what? Just chill out? What is this? Who are you? How do you know Faith? What the hell is going on?!”

Angel smiled. “It is all kinda ridiculous isn’t it? Back when I was human, if someone had told me this would be my life? I would’ve had a good laugh.”

“You were human?”

“Until 1753. That’s when I was turned...when I became a vampire.”

“Well, I guess that explains about how you can’t work the VCR. That red stuff you’re drinking. It’s blood?”

“Yeah. Sorry. But it’s not human blood. I don’t drink human blood. It’s pig’s blood. Uh...but I don’t like, go around killing pigs or anything. I get pig’s blood from the butcher shop.”

Tara folded her arms across her chest, and studied him.

“You’re the weirdest vampire I’ve ever met,” she finally said.

“You’ve run into vampires before?” Angel said.

“No, never. But you’re still definitely the weirdest one. You know what? I guess I’ll take that Diet Coke now after all.”

She stood there, with her arms folded across her chest, and watched him.

Angel knew people, he could read them. He’d been doing it for centuries.

He’d asked her to trust him...to take a leap of faith. Now he knew she was asking him for the same thing. Until he gave her the opportunity to run, he knew she would never really trust him.

“Okay,” Angel said. “But do me a favor. If you run out that door, go right home and don’t leave your house. If you have to go out, stay in public places and get home before dark. Don’t invite anyone in. Vampires have to be invited in to enter your house. If you see or hear anything suspicious, anything at all, call here, call Buffy or Faith and they’ll come running. I don’t know if you have the number here? I figure you don’t because you came over instead of calling. The number is 682-1114. Will you remember that?”

“Still waiting on that Diet Coke,” Tara said.

“Okay,” Angel said, and went into the kitchen.

“Kinda lost me there,” Xander said. “I’m not pretending this is about anything. What I’m saying is, it’s about you not getting hurt. I can’t deal with you getting hurt, cowgirl.”

“Will you stop fucking calling me that? It’s annoying,” Willow said.

Xander let go of her hand. They sat together on the couch, looking away from each other.

“What do you want from me, Willow?” Xander finally said. “What the hell can I do here?”

Xander looked at her, but she wouldn’t look back. Willow sipped her tea, and fidgeted with her hair, and looked down at her lap.

“Don’t you understand I’m doing this for us?” Xander said. “And, hey? In all the years I’ve known you you’ve never been much for the cussin’. Now all of a sudden you’re throwing out F-bombs left and right. Since when do you swear?”

“Since...since...I don’t know,” Willow said. “I just...do now, okay? Sorry my talking like a grown-up freaks you out.”

“Willow, it doesn’t...I mean...” Xander said. He sighed. “Look, I don’t care, okay? You wanna be all swearing left and right, feel free. I love you no matter how you are. And the way you talk? It’s not childish. It’s Willow. It’s you. I don’t...want you to lose that. I don’t want you to stop being you.”

Willow laughed.

“Sure,” she said. “As long as I quit doing the thing I love doing. Does the stuff you’re gonna say go through any kind of editing process before it comes out of your mouth? Do you like, even hear yourself?”

“Will, what I did?” Xander said. He put his arm around her. She didn’t move. “Yeah, I know it was extreme. I know it must’ve seemed like I...maybe bullied you into this a little. It’s just...I didn’t want to see you hurt anymore.”

“Oh , BULLSHIT!” Willow screamed, and tore herself away from him and jumped up. Her tea cup tumbled from her lap and spilled all over the floor.

“This isn’t about me being hurt!” Willow screamed. “It isn’t about Buffy! It’s about me being stronger than you and how you can’t fucking deal with it!”

Xander stood up.

“That’s...that’s not...” he stuttered.

“Damn skippy it fucking is,” Willow said. “You don’t want me doing magic because you can’t handle your girl being tougher than you. Typical guy. End of the day, it all comes down to whose dick is bigger.”

Xander’s face turned crimson.

“Yeah,” he said. “I guess Angel’s is. You’d know all about that, right?”

Willow’s eyes went wide as two saucers. Her mouth opened, and closed.

Then her face contorted; it changed. Like a sudden storm that comes out of nowhere and blots out the sun, rage darkened it, and made it cold...

Willow slapped Xander in the face.

It wasn’t a light tap; it was very nearly a punch, and it staggered him. It sounded as loud as a cannon in the little room.

Willow stood there, frozen, staring at him. She was taking in big gulps of air. Her hands were shaking.

Tears suddenly poured from her eyes. They seemed to explode out of her, like a dam bursting.

They faced each other, and didn’t say a word. Willow cried. Xander looked back at her, her handprint visible on the left side of his face, where she hit him.

Then Xander walked away from her.

He stormed out of the study, he stormed down the little hallway, and he stormed into the living room. He felt shaky and hot. He clomped and stomped around like he was wearing lead boots and he made a beeline for the door like he had wings on his feet. Giles was sitting in the squeaky leather recliner, watching him. Xander stormed right by him.

“Xander, if you’re stupid enough to walk out that door I’m going to knock you on your fool arse on general principle,” Giles said.

Xander noticed Giles then. Giles was drinking tea, and he had a book in his hand. Xander thought it certainly looked like Giles. But he couldn’t reconcile what his eyes were showing him with what his ears had just told him.

“What?” Xander said.

“Stay there,” Giles said, and got up, and went into the adjoining kitchen. He pulled two bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale from the refrigerator and two pint glasses from the cabinet. He came back into the living room, poured them each a pint, and sat back down in the recliner. Xander was still standing by the door.

“Sit down,” Giles said. “Let’s have a talk. Just us men and a couple of pints, the way God intended.”

Xander sat on the couch. Giles handed him a pint.

“Is this better, baby?” Buffy whispered, as Faith laid naked in her arms in the backseat of Angel’s car. Buffy had unbuttoned her blouse and unhooked her bra, so she could hold Faith in her arms the way she knew Faith loved to be held.

Faith nodded, and kissed Buffy’s breasts. Buffy rubbed her belly.

They were parked by a dense grove of trees along the back roads. The sun was bright, but it was past its zenith now; in a few hours it would be gone.

“Pretty impertinent of you, just throwing me in the back and having your mad way with me like you did,” Faith said. “Especially since I’m supposed to be the boss.”

“I knew my kitty-cat was back,” Buffy said. “I can always tell when she comes back.”

Faith nodded.

“I love you,” Faith said.

“I love you too,” Buffy said.

“I’m a kitten now,” Faith said.

“I know, baby,” Buffy said, and kissed her forehead. “Kittens like having their tummies rubbed.”

Faith nodded again, and curled up closer to Buffy. When Buffy held her in her arms, Faith felt like she was floating...like all her worries, all her fears, had been left behind on the shore. So she let herself float...she let herself drift away.

“So what’s the plan, boss?” Faith said, after awhile.

“You tell me,” Buffy said. “You’re the boss, not me.”

“You still want me to be the boss?” Faith said, and kissed Buffy’s breasts again. “But I’m a kitten now,” she added, with a soft little giggle.

“You can be both,” Buffy said.

“I’m a bunch of stuff,” Faith said.

“Mmm-hmm,” Buffy said. “And it all belongs to me forever.”

“Yup,” Faith said.

They looked up at the sun. Buffy rubbed Faith’s belly, and held her close. They were quiet. After a few more minutes Faith yawned, and closed her eyes.

“My kitten’s getting sleepy,” Buffy said. “You wanna take a nap, baby?”

“Yeah, but...I’m the boss, so I gotta think big picture,” Faith said. “We should find a pay phone and call the house, check in. We need to hit that bar too. And if we find a lead there we’ll need time to run it down. Gotta hit the road.”

Faith sat up and stretched, naked in the sunlight. Buffy watched her.

“You’re beautiful, Faith,” Buffy said. “You’re so beautiful, baby.”

Faith giggled. “Shit,” she said, looking down at herself. “Almost forgot you made me get buck naked here. Lucky no one drove by.”

“You just look so damn good naked,” Buffy said. She licked Faith’s neck. “Especially down on your knees,” she whispered in her ear.

Faith curled up in Buffy’s lap. “Big pervo lesbian,” she said. “Had to go and seduce yourself an innocent young straight girl, didn’t you?”

“You’re so gay, baby,” Buffy said, and kissed Faith’s nose. “Don’t even try to pretend you’re not the gayest girl ever.”

“Well, I sure am now, thanks to you,” Faith said, and hiked up Buffy’s skirt, and kissed Buffy’s knees. Buffy didn’t have underwear on; her panties were somewhere in the seat cushions. “I wanna be down on my knees for you again.”

“You’re a good kitten, huh baby?”

Faith opened Buffy’s legs, and knelt down between them.

“Meow,” Faith whispered, with a sultry smile. Buffy smiled, and stroked her hair, and brought her closer.

“You sure I’m the boss?” Faith said, and raised her eyebrow, as she began kissing the inside of Buffy’s thighs, steadily making her way to the sweet treasure held in between them.

“You’re the boss of my orgasms,” Buffy said.

They laughed. Buffy leaned down and kissed her.

“Can it be like this forever, Buffy?” Faith whispered, and took Buffy’s hand, and kissed it. “Can our lives be like this forever? Just us being together, just like this? Because...because...”

Faith burst into tears.

“Hey, hey...” Buffy said, and pulled Faith up, and hugged her, and wiped her tears away. “Baby? What’s wrong? What’s wrong, baby?”

“I’m happy, Buffy,” Faith said, crying, as Buffy held her against her chest. “For the first time since...since I lost Becca. I’m just...happy, y’know? I just... want it to always be like this because...because I love you. I love you so much, Buffy. Don’t...don’t ever leave me? Please? Don’t ever leave me?”

Buffy lifted Faith’s head up, and looked her in the eyes.

“I’ll never leave you, Faith,” Buffy said. “I’ll always love you, and I’ll never leave you. Okay, baby?”

“You’ll always love me?” Faith whispered.

“I’ll love you forever, beautiful,” Buffy whispered, and kissed her, as she felt her own tears starting to fall.

When Angel came out with Tara’s drink, she was sitting on the couch, and The Outlaw Josey Wales was back on.

“Faith told me how vampires have to be invited in,” Tara said, as she fast-forwarded through the movie, and Angel handed her the drink. He sat down on the couch, but not too close to her. “She told me Buffy’s a Slayer too. If you got invited into Buffy’s house I guess you’re okay. Weird, and bad with electronics on a monumental scale only my Dad could ever match, but okay.”

“They didn’t have electronics in my time,” Angel said.

Tara nodded, and paused the movie.

“You wanna watch from where you left off?” Tara said. “Got ‘dyin’ ain’t much of a livin’, boy’ ready to go here.”

“Okay,” Angel said. “Thanks.”

“Sure,” Tara said, and un-paused the movie, and took a sip of her Coke. She picked up Angel’s glass of blood, and handed it to him.

“Thanks,” he said, and set the glass down on the table.

“Not thirsty?”

“Uh...no. Not really.”

Tara looked at him, and grinned. Clint filled the little weasel of a bounty hunter full of lead.

“You’re embarrassed to drink blood around me, aren’t you?” she said.

“Uh...no,” Angel said. “Embarrassed? That’s...no. I’m not embarrassed.”

“Weirdest vampire ever,” Tara said. “How do you know Faith?”

“Don’t know her too well, I only just met her a couple of days ago,” Angel said. “Buffy and I go back a ways though.”

“So what’s your story? You know, 1753 and all that. Let’s hear it.”

“Long story.”

“Got time.”

“Parts of it might make you want to run out that door again.”

“One way to find out. Tell you what. You tell me your story, and I’ll tell you mine. My story’s completely fascinating. It’s like, an epic adventure.”

“Epic, huh?”

“Yup. You’ll hear all about my cool, sexy adventures, once I hear yours.”

“I was born in 1727 in Galway. I spent my time drinking and playing cards, and I slept in a different girl’s bed every night. I was nothing. I wasted my time, spent every moment in the pursuit of empty pleasures. Then, one day in 1753, I met a woman named Darla.”

“Knew this story would have a woman eventually.”

“All the best stories do. Darla was a vampire. She turned me, made me a vampire like her, and promised she’d show me the world.”

“Did she?”

“Yeah. She loved me...as best she could. As much as she was capable of.”

The phone rang.

“Uh...gimme a sec,” Angel said, and got up and grabbed the phone from the end table. “Hello?” he said into it, too loud as always, because he still hadn’t gotten used to talking to an inanimate object. He’d been around phones for more than a century now and he had never gotten used to them. Part of him still didn’t quite believe in them; it seemed preposterous that people’s voices could travel through wires all over the world. Every time he talked to someone on the phone, part of him wondered if maybe it was all a trick, and he really wasn’t talking to them at all. And phones had been getting more and more buttons as the decades passed. Angel hated buttons. VCR remotes, computers, phones; Angel thought there were too damned many buttons in the world...

Buffy stood by the payphone in the lot outside the Whiskey Creek Saloon and tried to keep a straight face as Faith kissed her neck, and giggled into her ear.

“Angel?” Buffy said, and suppressed a giggle as Faith ran her fingers around her waist, where she was ticklish. “Just checking in. How’s the movie?”

“Tell him he better like it,” Faith said.

“Hi,” Angel said. “Uh...the movie’s good. I’m not gay.”

“You’re not what?” Tara said. Angel frowned and shook his head at her.

“He says he likes the movie,” Buffy said to Faith. “Says he’s not gay.”

“Hope for that boy yet,” Faith said.

“Faith’s happy for you,” Buffy said into the phone. “You hear from Will?”

“Not yet,” Angel said. “But someone’s--”

There was a loud beeping noise.

“What the hell was that?” Angel said. “Buffy? Buffy? Are you there?”

“There’s another call coming in,” Buffy said. “Quick, press the button.”

“What button?” Angel said, and looked at the phone. It had a lot of buttons. Angel hated buttons.

“What’s wrong?” Tara said, and got up and walked over to Angel.

“It’s beeping,” Angel said, just as the phone beeped again.

“Press the button!” Buffy said. “Quick, press the button!”

“What the hell is he doing?” Faith said.

“He can’t figure out how to do call waiting,” Buffy said.

“I can’t figure out what? Press what button?” Angel said.

“The button that like, hangs up the phone!” Buffy said. When you hang the phone up, it goes on top of the button! Just press--”

The phone beeped again.

“What?” Angel said

“Just frigging press the button!” Buffy shouted, giggling now. Faith leaned her head on Buffy’s shoulder and laughed.

Tara took the phone out of Angel’s hand. “Buffy?” she said. “Just hold on a sec.” She pressed the button. “Um, Summers residence. Hello?”

“Hello?” Willow said. “Who’s...”

Willow’s eyes widened.

“Oh, Goddess,” Willow said. She smiled. “Tara? Tara?”

“Um...yeah,” Tara said. “Do I...know you?”

“Um...I’m Willow,” Willow said, and poured herself another cup of tea. What she really wanted was a super mocha cappuccino with lots of sugar and cocoa sprinkles, and Giles was in fact off getting her one at that moment, and he’d also promised to pick up Oreos with double stuff, though he had no idea what double stuff was and Willow had to explain it to him. Xander was in the living room watching television; after a long talk with Giles and a couple of pints of beer, Xander had calmed down a bit, and agreed to stay. But he hadn’t said a word to Willow, and so she had spent the past half-hour sitting in Giles’ study, sipping tea and reading his English translation of The Necronomicon and feeling sorry for herself, and pissed at Xander.

The Necronomicon was a good book to read at times like this; it was written thirteen-hundred years before by a half-crazed Arab named Abdul Alhazred who firmly believed the human race was cursed, love was a delusion and despair was the natural state of things. Right now, Willow could relate. Alhazred also believed that giant, nightmarish alien entities with names like Yog-Sothoth and Cthulhu ruled the universe and that human beings were created by aliens as a joke, but Willow tried her best to ignore those parts.

“And I’m Tara,” Tara said. “Though you already seem to know that...um, somehow? Hi.”

“Hi,” Willow said, and had no idea what to say next.

“So...how do you know me exactly?” Tara said.

“What’s going on?” Faith said.

“Some girl came on and now I think we’re on hold,” Buffy said.

“A girl?” Faith said, and took the phone, and listened. “Who?”

“Didn’t recognize the voice. But at least she isn’t Cordy. Whoever she was she took the phone away from Angel before he could hurt himself with it.”

“Oh...how do I know you...? Well...that’s...a long story,” Willow said.

“You guys seem to have a lot of those,” Tara said.

“Yeah, we really do. I’d like to tell you sometime, but I can’t right this second, the world could end and we’re all sort of in lock-down mode.”

“Angel said that too...that there’s like these new vampire guys trying to end the world? It’s all so...freaky. I mean...the world ending. It’s like...what?”

“We’ve...had experience with this stuff? Y’know, like, saving the world? That’s why our stories are so long. Are you gonna be staying? I mean, at the house? I think you should, things are dangerous right now. And it’d be cool if I could talk to you? Maybe tell you my really long story? If that’s okay.”

“Well right now I’m listening to Angel’s really long story? But you can tell me yours afterwards if you want. I’m a good listener.”

“I know. I mean...you sound like a good listener. He’s...telling you about himself?”

“Yeah. Sounds like it’s gonna be a totally long story. Maybe epic too.”

“Um...okay...um...could you put Angel on?”

“Sure, Willow. Hold on. Um...nice to meet you? I mean, in a talking on the phone kind of way. Oh hey, actually, Buffy’s on the other line right now. Wanna do a conference call?”

“Really? Yeah, sweetie. Thanks. And it was nice meeting you too.”

“Okay, hold on...” Tara pressed some buttons.

“How can you keep track of all those buttons?” Angel said.

“There’s like a grand total of four buttons,” Tara said, and handed him the phone.

“Hello?” Angel said, too loud.

“What’s up, GQ?” Faith said. “You found the button. Hope for you yet.”

“Actually, I didn’t--”

“So who’s on the other line?” Buffy said.

“Hey, is that my naughty niece I hear?” Willow said.

Faith smiled. “Hi auntie. Missed you.”

Buffy smiled. “It’s Willow? Is she okay?”

“Hey auntie, B and me have been thinkin’ about you, y’know?” Faith said. “You doin’ okay?”

“Hanging in,” Willow said. “Buffy’s there with you?”

“Yeah, we’re out trackin’ Spike, just called the house to check in.”

“Naughty niece?” Angel said into the phone, too loud.

“Naughty niece?” Tara said, pausing in mid-gulp as she drank her Diet Coke. “What?”

Angel looked at her and shrugged his shoulders. “I sorta gave up trying to figure out their talk awhile ago,” he said, covering the phone’s mouthpiece with his hand. “I just sorta nod my head now and pretend to understand.”

“We miss you, Will,” Faith said.

“I miss you guys too,” Willow said. “I sort of kicked Xander’s ass a little and...I think...I think he left me.”

Faith’s smile disappeared. “He...what? He left you?”

Buffy grabbed Faith’s shoulder.

“Xander left her?” Buffy said.

“Will says she thinks so,” Faith said to Buffy. “You wanna come back to the house, honey?” Faith said, into the phone. “You want us to come get you?”

“Can I?” Willow said, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Can I come back?”

Angel didn’t say anything. There was nothing to say...it was his fault. Yet another way he had hurt her...hurt all of them. He stood there, in the living room, holding the phone in his hand.

“What kind of question is that?” Faith said. “Of course you can come back honey, you’re our family. We’ll come get you, okay? We’ll come get you right now.”

“Not...right now,” Willow said. “I wanna try to talk to Xander one more time first but...tonight? Can I come tonight?”

“Will,” Faith said. “We love you. You get that honey? Buffy and I love you. You don’t have to ask if you can stay, you always have a place with us.”

“Gimme the phone,” Buffy said. Faith handed her the phone. “Will, it’s me. Tell me what happened.”

“It’s a long story but...I told Xander I don’t wanna stop doing magic, I don’t wanna stop helping and we fought and...I think he’s gonna leave me,” Willow said. Her voice was shaky. Buffy heard the panic in it.

“We’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” Buffy said. “We’re taking you home.”

“No, not yet, Buffy?” Willow said. “I need some time to talk to Xander first, but...tonight? Come get me tonight?”

“I want you with me before sunset though, okay?” Buffy said. “We can’t leave you alone at night. Faith and I will be there before sunset.”

“Thank you,” Willow whispered. Buffy could tell Willow was crying now.

“Nothing to thank me for,” Buffy said. “You’re our family.”

Willow smiled. “Okay...listen, that phone number Angel got? It’s a cell phone, so I can’t trace it. Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Buffy said. “We’ll see you soon Will, okay? Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise.”

“Okay, Buffy, thanks,” Willow said. “Angel, is Tara still there?”

“What? Tara?” Buffy said. “Tara’s there?”

“Yeah,” Willow said. “Um...I thought you knew? Sorry.”

“Wait, Tara’s there?” Faith said.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Angel said. “Hold on.”

“Wait,” Willow said. “She said you’re telling her about yourself. So you’re...really telling her about yourself?”

“Yeah,” Angel said. “Some vamps were following her in a car with blacked-out windows when she got here. I couldn’t let her go back outside with them out there. And I didn’t want to lie to her...so I told her...about me.”

“Vampires followed her car?” Buffy said.

“What? Vampires followed her? Is she...she’s okay? Is she okay?” Faith’s face was pale. Buffy put her hand on her shoulder.

“Angel,” Buffy said. “Tara’s okay, right? She’s okay?”

“Yeah,” Angel said. “She’s okay, but I’m keeping her in the house with me. You guys wanna talk to her?”

Buffy nodded to Faith. “Put her on,” Buffy said.

Angel handed Tara the phone.

“Um...hello?” Tara said.

“Tara?” Buffy said. “It’s Buffy. I’ve got Faith here, she really wants to talk to you.”

“Oh, really?” Tara said. “Awesome! I just came by because, like, I’m...I’m a f-friend of Faith’s and I haven’t heard from her in awhile and...I guess I got a little worried. But I’m not a stalker. I promise.”

“It’s cool, Tara,” Buffy said, and giggled. She handed Faith the phone.

“Hey, girlfriend!” Faith practically squealed. She hadn’t realized how much she missed Tara...just hearing her voice made her feel warm.

“Faith!” Tara said, and laughed. “Where you been, sweetie?! I got all worried.”

“Sorry, hon,” Faith said. “We got some major badness coming down and we’re all sort of holed up in the bunker. We kinda got a target on our backs right now, there’s bad guys sorta tailing us and I didn’t want you getting hurt. But I missed you, girlfriend. You’re staying at the house with Angel, right?”

“Yeah,” Tara said. “I, um, came to see you, actually. When you didn’t call...um...sorry, I know this makes me sound all Single White Female...”

“Just makes you sound like my friend, that’s all,” Faith said.

Tara smiled. “Oh, are you still there, Willow? We still doin’ a three-way?”

Faith and Willow both started giggling.

“What?” Tara said.

“Uh...nothing,” Faith said.

“Long story,” Willow said. “Tara, you’re...you’re okay there? You’re okay there with Angel?”

“Yeah,” Tara said. “We’re like, watching Clint Eastwood and hanging out? If I start to get bored I’ll just watch him try to work the remote.” Tara giggled, looked up at Angel, and bumped against Angel’s shoulder. Angel frowned at her. “Endlessly entertaining,” she added, still giggling.

“Tara honey?” Faith said. “Let me talk to Angel for a minute?”

“Sure,” Tara said, and handed Angel the phone.

“Hey,” Angel said.

“Listen good, Angel,” Faith said, in a low voice. “You better take good care of Tara. Tara’s a deal-breaker, understand? She gets hurt, I’m coming after you. I don’t care what Buffy or Will say. You let her get hurt and I’ll kill you.”

There was silence on the line for a moment.

Willow thought about closets. Buffy wrapped her arms around Faith, and kissed her cheek.

“I won’t,” Angel said. “But those vamps--maybe they were following her or maybe they were just watching the house, but either way, they’ll know what Tara looks like now, and the car she drives. And they’ll have her scent.”

“Yeah, I know,” Faith said. “Fuck.”

“Faith,” Angel said. “I won’t let anyone hurt her. Okay?”

Faith’s face was red now. “Yeah. Sorry I got all...just...I’m sorry.”

“Forget it.”

“She’s just...she’s my friend, Angel.”

“Angel,” Willow said. “What Faith said goes for me too. Keep Tara safe.”

“Yeah. I will,” Angel said.

“Faith, one more thing,” Willow said. “Xander said something about that phone number that got me thinking. It’s a cell phone, so I couldn’t trace it, but I was able to get an address for the girl who owned it. She died a month ago, Spike probably killed her and took her phone. But he could’ve decided to use her apartment after he killed her too. It’s in Sunnydale, 342 Bleeker Street.”

“Okay auntie, we’ll check it out,” Faith said. “Angel, gimme Tara again.”

Angel handed the phone to Tara.

“Hello? Faith?” Tara said.

“Hey honey,” Faith said. “Listen, Angel gave me the scoop on what happened. Looks like you were followed, probably by the same bad guys we’re in a pissing contest with right now. I need you to stay with Angel, okay? You gotta stay at the house and do what he says, he’ll keep you safe.”

“Okay,” Tara said.

“Tara, you trust me, right?” Faith said.

“What? Of course I do.”

“Okay, ’cuz I’m about to drop a bomb. When we first met and I told you about vampires? I didn’t know Angel then. I didn’t know about--”

“About how he’s a vampire, and he has a soul?”

“Uh...yeah. He told you that?”

“Yeah. We’ve been like, bonding over Clint Eastwood movies. He completely can’t work the VCR.”

“Okay, well...just hang there and I’ll be back in a few hours, okay hon?”

“He’s telling me his life’s story,” Tara said. “So I won’t be bored at least.”

Josey Wales had hunted down the last of the Kansas Redlegs, and gotten righteous, bloody vengeance for the murder of his family and his comrades. He’d made peace with the Comanche, and had even forgiven the man who betrayed him. Now he was ready to begin a new life in Texas with the family of cast-off wanderers he had picked up along the way, who had risked their lives to save his.

Angel liked the movie.

He liked the idea of a man forging his own path as he traveled to meet his destiny. He liked the idea of a man fighting the good fight, giving justice to the weak and bringing thunder and damnation down on the heads of those who tormented them, and finding friends and a family along the way...

He wished his own life had been like that. It hadn’t.

He’d told Tara his story...most of it, at least. The parts he could bring himself to talk about. He was surprised at how much he told her. But Tara was easy to talk to...and it had been so long since he’d had someone he could talk to...

“That was...” Tara said, trying to find the right words for what she had just heard. “That was...intense.”

“Yeah,” Angel said.

She drank her Diet coke. He still hadn’t touched his blood. He drank Guinness instead. He was hungry, but he ignored it.

“You killed...more than thirteen-thousand people,” Tara said. She wasn’t looking at him. She wasn’t looking at anything in the room. She was looking across the centuries...at a pestilence, unleashed upon innocents down through the years, falling upon them out of the darkness and leeching the life and the light from them, sweeping over whole families, decimating entire villages, until nothing remained but ashes...Tara was looking at more than thirteen-thousand dead bodies.

“Yeah,” Angel said.

“And you remember all their faces? Every single one?”

“Yeah,” Angel said.

She looked up at him.

“Must be hard,” she said. “Hard carrying it around with you all the time.”

“Some days are harder than others,” Angel said.

“How did you get that scar across your face?”

“Uh...I got it...in a fight,” he said, looking away from her. “I fight a lot. Kinda what I do. I fight demons, vampires...I try to protect people.”

“Why?”

“Why? What do you mean, why?”

“Why do you do it? Because you want to? Because you’re trying to make up for the things you did? Because you like hitting stuff? Why?”

“I do it because...I mean, y’know, I do it because...because...”

Angel looked down at the glass of blood.

He picked it up, and walked to one of the windows. He didn’t open the red velvet curtain; the sun was getting low, but it was still shining. Instead he stood in the shadows, looking at the curtain. There was nothing in its intricate pattern; it was an abstract pattern. But nature abhors a vacuum and Angel knew people’s minds abhor a vacuum of meaning; people create meanings, patterns, where there are none, and Angel was no different. He found himself seeing flowers in the curtain’s patterning. Blood red roses.

He saw his life that way for a moment; a random pattern of chaos and destruction, without inherent meaning or value. He could try to use his power to help people, he could try to be a hero, but that was just creating meaning where there was none. It was an illusion...a lie...

He drank some of his blood. He was hungry. It tasted good.

“I do it so Buffy can be proud of me. So I can be worthy of her,” Angel said. “She’s the reason I do it...she’s always been the reason. I love her. But I’m not worthy of her. And I lost her.”

He turned back to Tara.

“Buffy gave me this scar,” he said. “A few nights ago.”

“Why?” Tara said.

He sat back down on the couch. He sat a little closer to her this time...the way friends would sit. He hoped she wouldn’t move away.

She didn’t.

“Last year, when I lost my soul again, and came after Buffy and her friends, I did...some horrible things,” Angel said.

“Those pictures?” Tara said, softly. “Those little girls?”

“Yeah...but there was something else, something even worse. I told you I broke Drusilla’s mind, drove her insane and then turned her. But I didn’t tell you how I did it. Last year, when I lost my soul again and I had Dru here with me, I kidnapped Willow and forced her to read Drusilla’s memories of how I broke her. Not just read them. Dru’s a powerful clairvoyant, and Willow wasn’t as strong a witch then as she is now. Dru was able to hypnotize Willow, force her memories into Willow’s mind...not just as information. As real memories. Everything I did to Drusilla, Willow remembers as if it happened to her.”

“Will she...always remember it?”

“Yeah. I think so.”

They were quiet.

Angel remembered how Drusilla always leaned against him, when he let her out of the closet...how the first thing she always needed was to feel like she was part of the world again...to touch someone. He remembered the warmth of her touch, and feeling her tears on him, as he held her, and she cried...

“What did you do to Drusilla?” Tara said.

Angel finished his blood.

“I locked her in a closet for a hundred and thirty-one days while Darla and I tortured and killed her family,” Angel said. “I raped her every day. I forced her to kill her own little sister just to keep her out of my hands. It broke Drusilla’s mind. Then I killed her, and made her a vampire.”

“Oh,” Tara said.

“Willow never told anyone what I did to her. Not until a few nights ago. When she told Buffy, Buffy tried to kill me. Willow stopped her.”

“Willow stopped her?”

“Yeah. It was more than I deserve.”

“Why did she stop her?”

“I guess they could use my help right now, with everything going on.”

“You think...that’s the only reason? That’s the only reason you should live? To help with this thing?”

“You want another drink?” Angel said, and stood up. “Something to eat?”

“I’ll take another Diet Coke, I guess,” Tara said. “Maybe some chips or pretzels if you have some. What are you gonna do when this stuff is over?”

“Move to Los Angeles.”

“Los Angeles? Why?”

“Buffy...wants me to leave. She knew about me, what I am, the kinds of things I did, when we were a couple. But then I lost my soul...and she saw those things up close and personal.”

“How did you lose your soul? I mean, you said it was supposed to be a moment of perfect happiness that does it?”

Angel looked away from her.

“Buffy and I...we had...a perfect moment,” he said.

“Oh,” Tara said, and smiled. “Okay.”

“But when I lost my soul I hurt Willow,” Angel said. “Hurting Willow crossed a line. Buffy can’t forgive me for it. I’ve lost her. She’s with Faith now.”

Tara suddenly blushed, and looked down at the table.

“Oh. I...didn’t know that,” Tara mumbled, and made herself smile.

“Let me get you that drink,” Angel said. “Then I can hear your story. I’m pretty tired of my story.”

Tara nodded. Angel walked out of the room.

When he was gone, Tara wiped a tear from her eye, with a shaking hand.

“Can’t believe that Whiskey Creek dive was a dead end,” Faith said. “All the lowlifes in that joint, and no one knew anything?”

“Well, they knew Spike’s in town, they just didn’t know where,” Buffy said. “We wasted a lot of time there. This is gonna have to be our last stop today.”

They were driving to the address Willow gave them. The sun hung low in the sky, and the weather had turned cold. The top was back up on the convertible.

“Any other places you can think of?” Faith said, as Buffy parked the car in front of a little yellow cottage on a wide, tree-lined street. “Maybe we can go back out tomorrow?”

“Nope,” Buffy said. “Other than hitting all the cemeteries again or trying some random demon bars I have no idea what to do next.”

“We could call him,” Faith said, as they got out of the car.

“What?” Buffy said. “Call him?”

“We got his number. You said he doesn’t wanna like destroy the world, and Angel agreed with you. If Spike really doesn’t know what the Key can do, maybe we should just call him and tell him. Maybe he won’t try coming after it.”

“Points for thinking outside the box. But Spike’s just one of our problems. There are still those new vamps too. They’re like, a trigonometry-level problem.”

They reached the door.

“You smell that?” Buffy said.

“Vamp,” Faith said, and kicked the door in.

They walked into the house, with their stakes drawn. They didn’t remember pulling them out; the stakes were just suddenly in their hands. The house was dark and it smelled like beer and pizza and, faintly, vampire.

“There was a vamp here, Spike I guess,” Buffy said. “Not here anymore.”

“Yeah,” Faith said. “Vamp smell’s kinda weak. Probably took off awhile back. Let’s check it out anyway, like, search for clues.”

“So how do you search for clues? I’ve never searched for clues before.”

“We could go room to room and turn the whole house inside out but we don’t have time. But we can assume Spike wasn’t trying to hide shit, right? He crashed here. So how about we just check like, the obvious stuff. See if he left like an address or a phone number we can use. We don’t have to like check under the floorboards, we’ll just look in all the places people normally leave stuff.”

And they did. And after half an hour they found nothing except beer, Weetabix cereal, empty pizza boxes, black nail polish, a book of crossword puzzles, all completed, and one pair of men’s white briefs with a hole in it.

“Well that’s half an hour of my life I’m never gonna get back,” Buffy said, looking down at Spike’s underwear on the floor of the bedroom. “I’ve seen Spike’s dirty underwear and gone through his garbage. Looking for clues sucks.”

“Looking for clues doesn’t suck,” Faith said, and pointed down at the underwear. “We don’t have a bead on Spike yet but we sure will tonight when Will does a locator spell on those tighty-whities.”

“Shit! I didn’t even think of that. You’re such a smartypants,” Buffy said, and gave Faith a kiss. “You sure you don’t watch Star Trek? I bet you totally watch Star Trek. Bet you watch like, the History Channel too.”

“Just Friday nights. Friday nights they have cool World War Two stuff.”

“I have a reputation to uphold, y’know. If it gets out that my girlfriend’s a brain I might not get invited to the cool parties anymore.”

“I won’t wear my nerd glasses in public. C’mon, let’s get outta here. Gettin’ tired of smellin’ this guy. And, uh...one of us has to grab those underoos? Since I’m the boss I’m gonna delegate that responsibility to you.”

“And so begins the grossness,” Buffy said, and picked up Spike’s underwear with a grimace, using just the tips of her fingers and holding the briefs as far away from herself as possible. She opened the closet, pulled out a shopping bag, and dropped the briefs into it like they were a rod of pure uranium and the shopping bag was a radioactive waste container.

“You think Spike paints his nails?” Faith said. “That black nail polish was on the bureau with Spike’s stuff.”

“Let’s go,” Buffy said, and sighed. “I can’t believe I actually touched Spike’s underwear.”

“Not for nothin’? But guy vamps never painted their nails in Boston,” Faith said, as they headed out the door.

“A time-traveling witch,” Angel said. “Well that’s something new.”

“You don’t think I’m crazy?” Tara said.

They were sitting on the couch, eating pretzels. Angel had explained to Tara that vampires didn’t have much of a taste for food, but she had insisted he try some. To his surprise he found he liked them. He liked their saltiness, and their texture. They went well with beer. They went well with blood too.

“No,” Angel said, and looked at her pendant.

“You want a closer look?” Tara said, and held the pendant out to him.

He touched it. The pendant was warm, much warmer than the temperature of the room. And it was powerful, too, whatever it was; Angel could feel waves of energy emanating from it, and he saw the air distorting around it. To Angel’s heightened senses, the pendant seemed to be throbbing, beating...like a heart.

“It’s beautiful,” Angel said, and let it go. For some reason, he didn’t feel right, touching the pendant...it wasn’t for him. “Whoever that witch was, you were important to her.”

“Well, y’know, some kinda big battle coming, I guess,” Tara said.

“You said she was looking for a bunch of people. You think she gave them all one of these?”

“I don’t know. I never thought of that.”

“Maybe she only gave one to you,” Angel said.

“So are we...are we over or what?” Willow said.

“I don’t know,” Xander said.

He was still watching television. The Dick Van Dyke Show was on. Rob and Laura were arguing. But they always made up by the end of the episode.

Xander was lying on the couch. Willow always liked to jump on top of him whenever he was lying on couches. He’d laugh, and hug her.

She sat in the recliner.

“I’m sorry I slapped you,” Willow said.

“If we’re gonna do this?” Xander said, without looking away from the television. “Then let’s not bullshit. You’re not sorry you slapped me. And you shouldn’t be. I deserved the slap. What I said...it was an asshole thing to say.”

“You didn’t mean it like...I know you didn’t mean it the way it came out.”

“I didn’t, but I should have known how it could hurt you,” Xander said, and sat up on the couch and looked at her. “I’m sorry.”

“Okay,” Willow said.

“What I meant was...look, you’re like, all acting like you’re past that stuff? Like you’re over what Angelus did to you. But you’re not, Willow. You’re just ignoring it, not letting yourself think about it. But it’s all still there inside you. You can’t just ignore it forever, you can’t just pretend it’s all better now.”

“What you’re trying to make me do? Give up magic? Stop helping Buffy? That’s pretending. That’s pretending that like, all I have to do is stop being a part of the fight and all the monsters will go away. They won’t, Xander. We can stop fighting them? But the monsters won’t stop coming. All it will mean is that maybe, next time? Buffy will lose. And then she’ll be dead, and Faith will be dead, and maybe everyone in the world will be dead too.”

“Haven’t you done enough? Haven’t you helped enough, saved the world enough? Soldiers get tours of duty. When their tour is up they get to go home. When is your tour up? Never?”

“I’ve got this power for a reason. I don’t think I get like, vacations. But you know what? I’m still bullshitting. You know why I really want to help Buffy? Because I like it. I like it, Xander. I like being part of her gang, I like coming up with plans and solving problems. I like using magic. I want to keep doing it. And, okay, yeah, maybe I could stop for you, to keep you in my life? But part of me would hate you for making me do it. And someday, maybe a long time from now but someday, that hate would poison us. We’d lose each other anyway.”

“Is Faith happy with Buffy?” Tara said.

“Yeah, Angel said. “They seem happy to me.”

Tara nodded. She blushed again.

“You’re in love with Faith, aren’t you?” Angel said, softly.

“Yeah,” Tara whispered, and started to cry.

Angel took her hand.

“Guess we have something in common, huh?” Tara said. “I lost Faith and you lost Buffy. We even lost them to each other, just to make it even kookier.”

“Yeah,” Angel said. “Kooky.”

“Love sucks,” Tara said, and sniffled.

“Preaching to the choir,” Angel said.

Tara smiled, but she still cried. Angel held her hand.

“Sorry if, uh, my hand feels cold,” Angel said. “Vampire thing.”

“Feels okay to me,” Tara said.

“Would you...uh...like another drink?” Angel said. He was no damned good with crying women. He could seduce women, he could make them laugh, he could flatter them. But he could never console them worth a damn.

Tara laughed.

“That’s your solution to everything, huh?” she said.

“I’m really a very simple Irish lad,” Angel said.

“Guess I’ll take another Coke,” Tara said, and wiped her tears away. “How about some rum in it this time?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Angel said.

Angel and Tara sat on the couch together five minutes later drinking rum and Diet Coke. They sat close to each other, so they wouldn’t have to feel alone.

They hadn’t talked. They just drank. When Tara finished hers Angel poured them each another.

“Thanks,” Tara said. “I think I need to get drunk now. Possibly smashed. There might be staggering involved.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Angel said.

“So take my mind off the debacle that is my love life. Tell me more about this whole world ending dealie.”

“Apocalypse is kind of on hold right now. We have the Key. Problem now is what the hell do we do with it. It can’t be destroyed. The ceremony to release the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse has to be done at sunset on the last day of the waning moon, but there’s one of those every month.”

“Today’s the last day of the waning moon.”

“Yeah. Lucky we have the Key. If we can figure out what to do with it.”

“You can’t destroy it, and you probably can’t hide it either because it can be mystically detected. Wait. The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? Really?”

“Yeah.”

“Yup, I’m definitely getting drunk. I’m getting half in the bag. In fact, damn it, I’m getting all the way in the bag. Can I see the Key?”

“Yeah, I think Willow had it last. Let me go get it.”

Angel walked out of the room, and up the stairs.

When he made it to the top of the stairs, he heard Tara crying again.

He walked into Joyce’s room. It still smelled like Joyce, but the smell was faint now. Willow’s scent predominated. For some reason Xander’s scent didn’t seem as strong in the room as Willow’s. Angel wondered if he was just focused more on Willow’s scent. He had always liked it.

He took a quick look around and noticed the Key on top of the bureau.

He waited in the room, until Tara was finished crying. It took a few minutes. Then he came back down with the Key. When he walked into the living room, Tara was wiping her eyes. They were puffy and red. She smiled at him again, for his benefit, he knew. The smile might as well have been painted on.

Angel held up the Key.

“That’s it?” Tara said.

“This is it,” Angel said, and sat down next to her, and handed it to her.

Tara’s expression was curious at first, but then it changed; became deadly earnest. She turned the Key over in her hand, looking at it from every angle...

And then, all the color drained from her face.

“Oh, no,” Tara whispered.

When Angel’s big black Plymouth GTX pulled up in the driveway next to Tara’s little blue Honda Civic hatchback half an hour later like a barracuda ambushing a guppy Tara was already running out the front door.

Tara looked up at the sky as she ran. The sun would be gone, very soon.

“Tara!” Faith shouted, leaping out of the car before Buffy had even come to a stop. Tara was afraid; Faith could smell it. Even if she couldn’t smell it, the expression on Tara’s face was all she needed to see. “What is it, honey? What’s wrong?” Faith thought fast. It couldn’t be Angel, if he attacked Tara she would never have made it out of the house...

Tara put her hands on Faith’s shoulders. Buffy ran out of the car.

“Tara?” Buffy said. “What is it?”

“Why don’t you guys have cell phones?” Tara said, and looked Faith and Buffy in the eyes. “You save the world and you can’t have cell phones?”

“Tara...have you...been drinking, honey?” Faith said. She didn’t need to ask; she could smell it on Tara’s breath.

“Um, Angel’s a vampire, world might end, Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse? That all just screams rum and Coke to me,” Tara said.

“Tara, you’re shaking,” Faith said, and hugged her. “What’s wrong? Did... Angel scare you?”

“Angel’s a sweetheart,” Tara said. “The Key’s a fake.”

“Um...wait, what?” Buffy said.

“You don’t have the Key,” Tara said. “You have a brick with a glamour on it.”

Buffy and Faith looked back at her like they had been turned to stone.

“The world’s gonna end in twenty minutes,” Tara said.